A Curse of Guilt
by GhastlyRevenant
Summary: "A school of nightmares... Great friends were lost, and you're the one who sent them to their demise. Then why should you get to leave? Why should YOU get to live a life that you stole from so many others?... You don't deserve to. You should be suffering in the deepest pit of Hell. That's what YOU deserve."
1. Chapter 1

The lightning lit up the rotting halls of the elementary school for a split moment. The blood soaked walls, twisted bodies, and decaying ruins of the building were things nightmares were made out of. She clutched the metal holder her candle sat on. The hallways weren't easy to navigate, but with a light, it certainly became easier. Even if the more clear view of the corpses made her feel sick. "We... should probably head to the roof," Ayumi offered an idea as her eyes narrowed. They... had to find the ghost children's tongues, right? They had been walking through the hallways for so long. They may have better luck when they go up. It was a better alternative than going down towards the basement, anyways.

Yoshiki walked closely by her side, his eyes cautiously surveying their surroundings. Though when her voice broke through the silence, he turned his attention to her. The roof... huh? It was a place they hadn't been to, so it was already worth checking out. He nodded lightly, looking ahead as far as his eyes could make out with the candle's dim light. "Sounds like a plan... Better than just wandering around," he commented, verbally confirming that they should make that their next goal. After all, they had no leads as to where the tongues were... but these halls were getting them close to nowhere. If the roof didn't work out... that may only leave the basement... He was certain Ayumi was just as reluctant as him, or more, to go down there... but they probably couldn't avoid it forever...

Ayumi made a small noise of agreement. They seemed to have exhausted what they could for now, so trying to get outside the box may help. She just wanted to go home... It felt like they had been wandering these halls for years, although the reality is it had probably only been a couple of hours. They headed through the hallway and into the stairwell. The door that presumably led to the roof seemed to be locked tight. She grabbed at the handle, jiggling with it. She let out a frustrated huff and looked back at him. "Can you break it open?" she questioned with a skeptical look. Or maybe he knew how to lock-pick... Not that she could approve of him having such a skill, but in this situation it would be great.

When the door came in sight, Yoshiki somehow knew it would be locked... but that meant it had to be important, right? They only came across locked doors when there was something the spirits didn't want them finding. He approached the door to try his hand at it, grasping at the handle and pulling slightly to test it. Yeah, it was pretty jammed... but it also looked relatively weak. He took a deep breath, his eyes glancing to Ayumi. "Hold on... I need to try something... Stand back a little, okay, Shinozaki?" he asked, waving her away as he stepped back a little. This may be unlikely... but it was worth a try. He repeated his deep inhale before letting it out in a long sigh, determined eyes stuck on the door ahead. This had to work... so he'd be closer to getting Ayumi, and everyone else, out of this hellhole. He rushed forward, ramming it hard with his shoulder. There was a loud bang and splitting of wood. It wasn't open... but it was weakened. He couldn't help but let slip a faint smirk before moving back a little and ramming it again. The old wood gave and splinters flew, but at least it was open. He stumbled forward a little, but was able to stop himself easily. He rubbed his shoulder a bit, but didn't give the pain much attention. He turned to Ayumi with a small smile, glad that had actually worked. "Alright, let's keep going."

Ayumi nodded and stepped clear out of his way. She was eager for the door to be broken down so they could continue on. She flinched as he rammed into the door with his shoulder, the method seeming more painful than if he had tried with his foot. She couldn't argue with the decision. After all, the wood was weakening. His second ram secured their ability to get through, meaning they were probably on their way to the first tongue. She smiled lightly back, giving another firm nod. "Right," she agreed, since time was of the essence. Once past the dismantled door, they went through a locker room that attached to the roof. Ayumi pushed the heavy metal door, surprised that this time the door wasn't locked. Rain spit on her head, but she wasn't going to let getting wet scare her from going outside. Once on the roof, a large expanse of water caught her eyes. The pool was a sickly green, with bloated corpses floating in it. Her arms wrapped around herself as she shivered lightly. "Geeze, it's freezing out here," she complained, feeling herself beginning to catch a cold already.

Yoshiki followed her out onto the roof, glancing around. As if it wasn't cold enough, the rain was making impossible for their clothes to keep them warm. He let out a small sigh, watching a cloud escape his mouth. He glanced to Ayumi, her comment triggering a want inside him to somehow keep her warm himself, but of course that urge was quickly swatted away. "It is...," he commented, mostly just to keep out the silence. Even though he couldn't help her warm up, he still had a caring feeling welling up inside him. He didn't want her getting sick or anything... "Do you... want to stay inside while I check this place out?" he asked casually, eyes skimming over their surroundings. Ugh, that pool was disgusting... He'd hate to even touch that water... It resembled something like a swamp, which only made him more nervous about stepping closer. As if the bodies floating inside weren't enough...

Ayumi glanced at Yoshiki as he asked if she wanted to sit this out. She wouldn't deny that getting out of the rain was somewhat tempting, but she found the fear of being alone outweighed that detail. "No, I'll stay out here and help. It'll be quicker that way," she responded after a thoughtful moment. A tongue had to be out here... she just had a feeling. If her feeling was right, getting wet and cold was a very fair trade in order to get a tongue. Her eyes fell back on the pool, since it was the most noticeable thing on the roof. "You don't think the tongue is in there, do you?" she questioned, even though, given their luck, the answer was probably a resounding 'yes.'

Yoshiki watched her as she declined, but he guessed he could see why. No one would really want to be alone for any amount of time in this place... He gave a small hum, to show he understood, before stepping out further to the side of the pool... or whatever it would be called. "With our luck?... Yeah, I do," he admitted, his shoulders slumping as he glared at the murky water. He turned to look at the pool's surroundings, trying to find anything that may help them. "Maybe we can find a drain or something...," he suggested, moving away from the water to get a better look around.

"Yeah, hopefully...," Ayumi muttered, eyes on the water as she felt disgust turn in her stomach. The pool was like a giant soup of death. Between the dead bodies and questionable color, she couldn't imagine anyone would be willing to go into it. But, if they couldn't find a drain for the water, then what? Well, that probably wasn't a good thing to put too much thought into. She began looking around, on the off chance maybe the tongue wasn't even in the water, even if the two basically agreed it had to be.

Yoshiki stepped around, his eyes landing on a door that led to some sort of separate building. He curiously stepped closer, grabbing the handle and attempting to turn it. Ugh, of course it was locked... He wished he could just continue the search, but he knew in the back of his mind that what they needed was probably behind this door."Guess finding a key is our next goal," he mentioned with a soft sigh, his eyes narrowing as his frustration bubbled up. Why couldn't things just be open for once?... Plus, this time, a key was absolutely necessary, given that this door was steel and wouldn't be broken open.

Ayumi peered over to the door. A frown tugged at her lips when he mentioned a key, a similar frustration boiling inside of her. She just wanted to go home! Why did everything in this damn school have to be so hard going? "Alright, I'm going to look over there then," Ayumi said, eyes falling on the other side of the pool. She was careful to walk a few good feet from the pool, nervous that a misstep may have her falling into the disgusting green swamp. On the other side her eyes were peering over the ground for some type of glimmer. It was dark and hard to see, the rain eliminating the usefulness of her candles. She felt the rain soaking her through, and the cold seeped into her bones. Her eyes were traveling along the pavement, and then with a jolt everything around her became a sickly green. Her limbs felt useless, unable to swim against the pressure of the water that flooded around her.

Yoshiki made a small hum to make sure she knew he had heard. He stayed on the side of the door, looking through overgrowth and other abandoned, decrepit objects. With no sign of a key, he was starting to get a bit irritated. If they got stuck here because of a stupid key... A bolt of lightning flashed and made him flinch, but he also noticed a small shine. Could it be-? He went forward to grab it, taking hold of it and pulling it from the tile it was wedged under. He smiled slightly, relieved they wouldn't have to be stuck. He turned, putting the key into his coat pocket."Shinozaki, I-" he called out to inform her she could stop looking, but she wasn't there. Panic immediately struck him as he rushed forward, looking around for any trace of Ayumi. "Shinozaki?! Where did you-" He froze as he saw a larger rippling in the water. She wouldn't have... right?! He didn't think much as he swung over the side to land in the water. It was disgusting, sure, but... his fearful mind didn't pay much attention to it. He took a deep breath before submerging himself, his hands grasping around where he saw the disturbance in the water. He wished he could use his eyes, but the water was so disgusting, it'd probably do a lot more harm without helping. Finally, though, his hand brushed against something. He immediately grasped the fabric and pulled up, dragging the body up with him. Once he got a good gasp of air, he opened his eyes slightly to make sure it was Ayumi. Thankfully, it was... He moved back to the side, resting on it as he pushed Ayumi up. He panted, a bit too tired to pull himself up yet. "Shi...Shino... zaki?" he asked breathlessly with light coughs mixed in, to see if she was conscious or if he should stop catching his breath to get her breathing again. He hoped it was the former... because his energy was almost completely depleted from being .

The water sloshed around Ayumi's lungs, threatening to slowly drown her. Her mind wasn't even aware enough to make the connection that she was slowly dying. All she knew is all she could see was green. Then, suddenly, the barrier seemed to be shattered as the green faded away. For a moment her body laid limp on the ground beside the pool, but after a moment, she began to violently cough. Green water escaped her lungs, leaving her panting desperately for air. She felt nauseated. There was a gross algae taste stuck in her mouth, and she already registered how sticky she felt. She looked up, seeing Yoshiki still in the pool. "W...what happened?" she asked between shaky breaths. How did she end up in the pool?

Yoshiki gave a sigh to calm his nerves after she began to cough, a sign she was okay. It was while she was recovering that his brain caught up with what had just transpired. He had risked his life for her... He was glad he could actually step up to protect her, no matter what... Not that he doubted he would, but at least now, it was very true to himself that he really would give himself for her, or go down trying. He looked up at her question, giving a small shrug. "I don't know... When I looked over, you were already in," he told her, still a bit winded, but he was better off now than he had a few moments before. He pushed up to sit on the side, moving back a little because he really didn't like that water. While still looking at the murky green, he let slip another sigh. He was so exhausted... "It doesn't matter though... You're okay, and that's all I'd worry about." He moved to stand, shoving ah and inside his pocket to retrieve the key. "Anyways... I think I found the key for that building. That's probably where the drain is, so... hopefully there aren't anymore obstacles to getting this tongue," he mentioned, stepping aside to go check the building. He would've helped Ayumi up, but he figured she'd need a little more rest. After all, she had almost drowned...

Ayumi blinked slowly as he gave his side of the story. Unfortunately it didn't shed much light on the situation, but considering they were in Heavenly Host Elementary, that wasn't too unusual. She sat up, her breathing still uneven. She watched him as he got out of the pool and expressed that her being okay was the important thing. It was very upfront, like him, but also touching. She didn't even know how to express gratitude for coming in after her, though as he changed the subject, she figured she was off the hook. "Right," she responded quietly. Talking made her tongue move against the roof of her mouth which has clumps of algae stuck at the top. She kept her eyes on him as he moved towards the building, but she made no movement to follow him. She wanted to give them rain some time to wash this grunge off of her, and maybe spit out the disgusting tasting algae.

Yoshiki approached the door and unlocked. Ugh, thank God that was the right key... He pushed open the rusty door, still meeting some resistance, but at least he was able to manage it open. He walked into the dark room, feeling a bit uneasy without being able to see, but he wouldn't go both Ayumi while she was still probably tired from her near death experience. He could brave this... He took a deep breath, stepping inside and feeling around. There were some machines or tubes, he couldn't really make out what exactly each was. But this definitely was the room, if there _was_ a drain. As he searched, he noticed a sharp pain and had to jerk back his hand. Ugh, he must have been caught on something... but he couldn't pay it any mind. He moved further in, eventually finding a lever, a small green light shining on the machine. This had to be it. He grabbed the handle and pushed it down, hearing the sound of rushing water. Good... They were one step closer to getting out of this school. He hurried back outside, noticing two things in the dim light. One, and most importantly to him, that had indeed drained the pool. It was sickening, because there were a lot more bodies than had been visible at first, but at least now they could move forward. Two, well... What he thought had been a small scratch had actually turned out to be a sizable, bleeding gash. But again, he didn't have the time, patience, or concern to dwell on it. He stepped nearer to the edge, attempting to find something among the shallow water. Eventually, he noticed something that had fallen from a pipe. He pushed off and landed in the bottom of the pool, approaching the small burlap sack. He grabbed it with his uninjured hand, noticing the bottom of the bag was tinged a dark crimson. Written on it was a name._ This must be it..._

As Ayumi let the rain act as a shower for her, she waited for the water in the pool to react. After some moments, she felt a burst of relief as water began to quickly rush out of into a drain. Although, the sight of piles of corpses twisted her stomach. She could have been one of them, if she had been there alone or if Yoshiki had noticed her disappearance into the pool. Ayumi, after seeing Yoshiki come out and go down into the emptied pool, finally got herself to stand up. "Did you find it!?" she called over to him with a curious expression. She definitely had little interest in climbing down among the corpses to get a closer look at whatever he grabbed.

Yoshiki glanced at Ayumi, coming over to her and lifting himself from the pool. He moved to stand, glad to be out of the ominous, disgusting pool. He lifted the bag, nodding slightly. "Yeah, this is it, for sure. The name is probably one of the children's," he mentioned, glancing at the name. Tsuji Tokiko, huh? He guessed they had to figure out which was which, or else they'd be in trouble...

Ayumi's eyes caught onto the bag that held the tongue. The thought of carrying around a decapitated body part was actually really disgusting, now that she put thought into that detail. Still, it couldn't be helped... at least it had a bag. "That's-" she began to express some relief that they found a tongue when red caught her eyes. Yoshiki's other hand was red, but not in the way that she could assume he just touched someone else's blood. "Did you cut yourself?" she asked with eyes narrowing at his potentially injured hand.

Yoshiki smiled slightly, the feeling of making progress washing away his irritation... a little. When she pointed out his other hand, he gave it a casual glance, before moving it somewhat out of her view. "Uh... yeah, but it's fine. I won't die or anything... Besides, we don't have the time to waste on it," he reminded her, hoping she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. They really did need to find the last two tongues... If what Naho said was right, and getting them would rescue everybody, they had to hurry. And not just for themselves, but for their other friends too, before... Well, he didn't want to think of specifics. He just know they should really focus all they had on getting those tongues and returning them.

Ayumi look at him through narrowed, suspicious eyes as she took little weight in what he said. While time was important, his well-being was as well. He could get dizzy from blood lost or get an infection or... well, a lot of things could happen. She knew when she had fallen on glass during their separation she didn't even consider just letting her hands bleed. "If it isn't that bad, let me see the cut," Ayumi demanded, remaining firm to not just Yoshiki just swish this off. Really, he was too stubborn for his own good. It wasn't like setting aside a little time to wrap his wound would ruin everything.

Yoshiki's expression deflated slightly as she persisted. It was... nice that she cared, but on the other hand, he really didn't want to give it special attention. They were on a time limit. "But-" he began to argue, but got a good look at her eyes. His brows furrowed slightly as his stubborn walls crumbled when faced with her eyes. He glanced away with defeat, a small tinge of red appearing on his cheeks. "Fine...," he muttered, moving his hand back into her vision, holding it closer with his palm up, since he was pretty sure that's where it got cut.

Ayumi was tempted to hit him over the head as he began to argue, but he seemed to realize that it would be a futile effort and relinquished his hand to her. She grimaced at the cut and the blood flowing out of it. "You really are an idiot, Kishinuma," she huffed, shaking her head at him. "Of course this needs to be wrapped! C'mon, let's head to the infirmary... there should be some bandages left," she told him, again leaving no room for discussion. She was worried he may have cut it on metal or something, which means he probably needs a shot... but right now that just wasn't an option. The least she could do was try to sterilize and protect his wound... He did just save her, after all.

Yoshiki looked a bit agitated as Ayumi went on about getting it bandaged. They couldn't take such a detour... He normally wouldn't argue with her, but this was a live or die situation. He would be okay long enough for them to get the other tongues, probably. "Shinozaki, that's too out of our way," he argued, but made sure to keep any anger from his voice. He wouldn't direct his frustration at her, if he could help it. "It's not just our lives riding on those tongues... Ms. Yui, Shinohara, Nakashima, Morishige,... Satoshi... Remember? If Naho was right, then we have to make those tongues top priority... The longer we take, the more likely... something will happen," he told her, his look turning somewhat grim as his eyes went to the ground. Though he was being vague, it was just because he didn't want to outright say that 'they could end up dead'. He also mentioned Satoshi to maybe drive it home more to Ayumi, even though admitting that she had a preference for him was somewhat damaging to his heart. Still... it was the best way he could think of to persuade her.

Ayumi flinched as he named off those whose statuses were unknown. Each name brought another stab of anxiety, fear, worry, heartache, and so many other negative emotions she felt dizzy. "You think I don't know that!?" Ayumi snarled, insulted that he was saying this like she had no idea what was going on. She had seen Mayu's body splattered on the wall... She was aware of the death looming over all their heads. "I do know what's going on here, Kishinuma!" she snapped, her hands clenched in fists at her sides as she resisted the much more prominent urge to hit him. "I also realize that letting yourself bleed out isn't noble in anyway. It's just stupid! Besides, do you even have any clue where the next tongue is?!" she yelled at him, because she was too angry to keep her voice at a calm level. Talking to her like she didn't understand! What an insensitive jerk!

Yoshiki, for some reason, hadn't been expecting anger to be a response. Sure, he expected an argument, but for he foolishly hadn't seen her fury coming. He flinched slightly at each question practically, looking away somewhere in the middle of her tangent. Looking at her brought too much shame to him, since he was realizing that he had probably hurt her feelings and mental state by mentioning their friends. Yeah, he was really stupid... with himself, and her, apparently. He wished he could be more mindful about his words, but it just wasn't a social skill he possessed... He realized he hurt people with some stuff that he said, but it was most painful when he did it with Ayumi. He didn't like hurting or upsetting her... While still looking away, he muttered out a shameful answer. "No... Sorry..."

The boiling in her blood didn't feel like it was going to be coming down soon. At the very least, his answer was short and didn't add more fuel to her internal fire. Ayumi could hardly believe how cold he could be, bringing them all up like that. "Let's just go inside," she said flatly as she walked past him to head towards the doors leading back into the locker room. With no knowledge of where to go next, she was definitely forcing him to get that cut at least wrapped. She hoped he wouldn't raise more of a fuss, since that little tiff cost them time as well. At the very least they need to always be walking and keeping a decent pace.

Yoshiki stayed silent as she moved past him, a somewhat hollow feeling forming in his gut. Ugh, why did he have to be like this? It shouldn't be hard to actually put thought into what you're saying, but he just couldn't... He only made things worse... He wouldn't blame Ayumi if she hated him now... but he did hope to God she wouldn't say it out loud. It'd hurt too much... a lot more than he would like to admit. He turned and followed her quietly, shoving his injured hand into his jacket pocket while the other grasped the fabric, keeping a bit of pressure on the cut. It was the best he could do with what he had currently, which was good enough to stop some blood from seeping out.

Ayumi allowed the thick silence to hang in the air as they silently made their way through the halls. She was seething, but it was from a place of fear. All their friends could be dead. Why the hell she did ever have to pull out that goddamn charm? They could have just gone on their merry way after cleaning the classroom if she hadn't- ... Ugh, why did he have to go pulling that card out? He was truly awful at making points, it seemed. When they approached the hallway of the infirmary, she kept her eyes low. She knew Mayu's splattered corpse painted the wall at the end of the hallway, which was currently hidden in shadows, but just the knowledge it was close made her head heavy. She opened the infirmary door, going to grab a roll of bandages and a bottle of alcohol that still survived in the medical cabinet.

When they made it to the infirmary, their atmosphere only seemed to get worse. But there was nothing Yoshiki could do about it. He had said something awful, and couldn't make up for it. He had already apologized, and it was understandable that she didn't accept it... If she... didn't talk to him at all after this, except for necessary details, he'd... Well, he wouldn't make her. He sat on the bed, pulling his hand out of his jacket pocket and listlessly staring at it. At the moment she came over to bandage it, he'd turn his eyes elsewhere, but for now they just rested on the gash. His hand was dripping blood, and he was certain his jacket had gotten pretty bloodied, but he wasn't too concerned about it. Yeah, school uniform jackets cost a lot, but that was literally the littlest of his worries at this point.

Ayumi couldn't shake her frown as she collected the items. The brown bottle's alcohol sloshed around inside the bottle. She wasn't sure if it would still be capable of sterilizing... She couldn't remember if alcohol had a 'best by' date. Well, hopefully it would clean it out enough that he wouldn't end up hit with infection. She walked over to him, glancing over his appearance. He looked pretty... pitiful, was the word, she guessed. She really laid into him with her anger, but he was the one who triggered it by saying such thoughtless things. Everything would be fine if he just accepted help right away, but no, he had to insist they ignore his gashed hand. "Put your hand out,"she told him stiffly as she uncapped the bottle of alcohol. She was just going to pour the contents on his hand, so he'd probably want to hold it a little farther from his body.

Yoshiki did as ordered, her tone almost solidifying his knowledge that their relationship, at least for a little while, was tarnished. It hurt, for sure, but he had really brought it upon himself. His eyes moved to look towards the door, not for any reason other than avoiding eye contact with Ayumi. The shame still burned hot in his stomach, and any moment spent looking at her only increased the feeling, so he'd rather avoid it as best as he could. He also doubted Ayumi minded the ignorance, since she probably wanted to be left alone as much as possible.

Ayumi poured an even stream of alcohol on his hand, holding it there for multiple seconds. She knew it would probably sting, although it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. She just wanted to make sure he would be fine, despite her anger towards his overwhelming social ineptitude. He really had to be the least emotionally supportive person she could have ended up with. Well, Sakutaro probably tied... Either way, Yoshiki wasn't great to lean on for anything but grunt work. She tied the bandage around his hand, circling his palm multiple times. It was much easier putting this bandage on his hand than it had been managing to wrap both her own hands up. It hardly took over a moment to finish and tie up the bandage securely on his palm."Alright, done," she told him as she stepped away from him.

Yoshiki flinched as the alcohol was poured, but he made no other noise or verbal complaint. Sure, it stung, but it didn't bother him enough for him to whine about it... Then again, not much was. He couldn't actually recall any time he had whined about an injury... or anything, for that matter. Mostly, he just sucked it up, and it's what he was doing now. Once the bandage was completely, he pulled his hand back, keeping his eyes on her work rather than her. "Thanks...," he muttered as he pushed off from the bed to stand. At least, with that done, they could move on...

Ayumi hummed lightly, acknowledging the gratitude. If he had just agreed from the get-go they wouldn't be in such a state. With that done, it seemed it was time to scramble for the next tongue. She opened the infirmary door and headed away from the wall Mayu painted. Time dragged when there wasn't much of a destination or clue as to where to look. As they made their way through a hallway they have before, a crack in the door caught her eyes. 'That had been... sealed before?' she mentally questioned. She was pretty sure the door had been rotted in place, only serving as decoration. Did they shift closed spaces? Ayumi stopped her progression to walk up to it. She tugged hard at the door, but the crack that had slipped open seemed to be the only viable entrance. "I don't think we looked in here," she told Yoshiki, looking back at him.

Yoshiki turned his gaze to Ayumi finally as she spoke to him. He leaned slightly to get a look at the crack, feeling like they had been around before, only that door hadn't been accessible... Probably meant there was something important in there. "I don't either," he commented, staying back a bit so he knew he was a safe distance from her personal bubble. The last thing he should do while she was pissed at him was be too close... "Though... I don't think I can get in," he mentioned with slight concern. If they really were dead set on going in, Ayumi would have to go by herself... That thought was unsettling, but there probably was a tongue in there... If Ayumi was willing, he wouldn't stop her. Just... the thought of her alone was already making him panic.

Ayumi looked at the crack with a furrowed brow. It was true that there was no way Yoshiki would be able to squeeze in, since it looked like a tight fit. Although, she was probably small enough to get in with little trouble. She found herself hesitant to go in. Even with the frustration she had towards Yoshiki, being with him was leagues better than being alone. Still, it had to be done. A tongue may be in there, and there friends lives were hanging on her head. "Okay, I'll just go in then," Ayumi said as she tried to peer into the room. It was too dark to get a decent view, which was too bad. She wanted to know what she may encounter.

Yoshiki felt a small jolt of fear go through him as Ayumi confirmed that she was set on going in. He wanted to stop her... but that would make him a hypocrite, huh? He looked down quietly, dread filling his gut. Unlike at the pool, or anywhere else, if she got into trouble... he wouldn't be able to save her. He would be useless in the one thing that he thought he could do no matter what. But if something happened... he would be helpless but to just watch it unfold. It scared him to death, but he had to let her... though, while admitting that he wouldn't be able to save her hurt badly, he didn't want that to happen and their relationship end in the shambles it was in. With a shaky breath, he stepped closer, grabbing her wrist to both stop her from proceeding and catch her attention. "Sh... Shinozaki... I was... panicked and desperate to get us out, I-... I didn't think over my words... even less than usual. I'm not trying to give an excuse, it's just... I wanted you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you... I'd never-...," he paused as his hard fought eye contact broke slightly when his eyes started going to the floor. It's not that he expected forgiveness... He just didn't want to leave anything unsaid, in case... He refused to think something could go wrong when they were this close, but... it was becoming obvious that anything could go wrong, so he wouldn't take the chance. Well... most would be said, except for that... deeper layer of himself. After what felt like an eternity for him, he continued, moving his eyes back to her. "Just... come back safely, okay?" he asked quietly in concern, letting her wrist go and stepping back a bit.

Ayumi moved to slip into the room when he motions were halted by Yoshiki's hand around her wrist. She froze from a moment before looking back at him. He wasn't going to argue with this too, was he? That thought was quickly wiped out as he started speaking, or rather, apologizing. She watched him carefully. Her heart felt tight in her chest. It almost felt like last words that he was getting out just in case something went wrong. She couldn't blame him for thinking that way, though. It wasn't like they could pretend the chance of either one of them dying wasn't higher in this awful place. She felt herself lost on what she could say. Yoshiki wasn't good with words, or at least, when he didn't give himself time to consider his words, they often came out poorly. It was just a horrible issue he hit this time. It probably wouldn't be right to hold any sort of grudge... She watched his eyes break away, a moment passing as she fought to regain her voice. Then sharp gray eyes met her's once again as he added one last thing. Her arm fell back to her side at the release of her wrist, and she smiled lightly at him. "Okay," she told him, at a lost of saying anything else. It would be fine. She'd go in, get the tongue, come out, and they could continue on. She paused for a moment before turning away from him and slipping into the crack of the door.

Yoshiki nodded a bit after her answer, her smile bringing some sort of relief. He was still in a panic, hiding just how scared he was of losing her, but it maybe meant that she forgave him. He gave her a small smile back, though was unsure of how to feel exactly. She had almost died in the pool only a little before, and when threatened of losing her, he had been terrified. It was the same now, only... magnified ten fold because this time, he couldn't do a thing for her. He felt so useless, just hanging back and watching the light of her candle in the dark room... This was, indeed, the most scared he had ever been... He didn't want to lose Ayumi in plain sight...

Ayumi entered the dark room, loneliness already heavy over her head. Even with Yoshiki so close, he was unable to get to her. It was terrifying to know she was on her own. 'C'mon Ayumi, get it together. The others are counting on you. Just find the tongue and get the hell out,' she said as she pulled out a candle. The small light illuminated the dark classroom. It seemed like every other classroom, with desk thrown about and bodies littered over the floor. She stepped over a middle schooler, cringing at the smell that she would never grow accustomed to. She held her candle out, freezing as her eyes met with the blackboard. Bloody letters covered the canvas with words of agony and rage. It's all your fault, rot in hell, you deserve this, and many other phrases were painted on the board. Ayumi's anxiousness grew worse as she worried how angry the spirits in this room may be. After taking a moment to stare at the wall in horror, her eyes moved up. Over the blackboard, pinned by a nail, was a burlap sack. 'There it is,' she thought in excitement. She was ready to get out of here. Although... she was way too short. She gulped nervously as she did the only thing she could. She grabbed a desk and shuffled over to the board, avoiding a gaping hole of missing floorboards. She put the desk down and climbed on top of it. It definitely wasn't great, she could hear the metal creak in protest to her weight. She just needed to grab the sack and get out. She was closer, but she really had to stretch to get closer. Up on her tiptoes and arm stretched out, she felt the fabric graze her fingers. 'Almost, almost, almost' she thought eagerly. Her fingers wrapped around the sack, 'got it!'

Then the world disappeared under her feet.

The burlap sack ripped off the wall as her hands clutched it tightly, but she couldn't do anything to stop gravity from pulling her down. She had expected to hit the floor behind the desk, but there was no ground to hit. Instead, she kept falling. The darkness of Heavely Host Elementary School swallowed her whole.


	2. Chapter 2

Ayumi's eyes slowly opened as she forced herself to sit up. Her body felt sore, which she couldn't really figure out why. What had happened? An earthquake? This wasn't Kisaragi... She looked around frantically, panic beginning to grip her heart. Where were the others? Her eyes caught onto two other shapes that landed in the foreign classroom with her. "Ms. Yui! Kishinuma!" Ayumi yelled out, her breathing feeling uneven as the familiar edge of a panic attack settled into her lungs.

Yoshiki flinched at his name, being snapped out of his daze. Ayumi? What had happened...? He turned on his side, feeling a bit sore, but was mostly concerned about the voice he had heard. His eyes scanned the dark room, landing on a figure he assumed to be Ayumi. With a grunt, he pushed himself up to sit, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head. "Shinozaki... You okay?" he asked the darkness, her well being his first concern. The other figure, Ms. Yui, was already standing. She approached her two students, glad that they both woke up okay, and didn't seem injured.

Ms. Yui, now that she was assured her two students were well, walked carefully through the strange classroom they had been dropped in, approaching the old doors and opening them. She leaned out to get a glance around, but it was mostly just pitch blackness. She sighed lightly, worried about the situation they had been stuck in. This place had an awful vibe, and it definitely wasn't Kisaragi Academy anymore...

Ayumi kept taking deep breaths, but that only fed her panic attacks. She knew she should be breathing through her nose to cut down on the oxygen getting down in her lungs, but the overabundance of oxygen just made her feel like she needed air. Her lungs were burning as her wheezing began. She heard Yoshiki, relieved to hear his voice, but she was still terrified for so many reasons. "S...sort of..." she got out between trembling breaths. Physically she didn't feel like the fall resulted in much damage, but mentally she felt herself spiraling.

Yoshiki kept his eyes on Ayumi, noting her heavy breaths. He moved a bit closer, enough to be able to place a hand on her back. It didn't make him nervous, since it was a pretty platonic gesture. "Calm down, Shinozaki... You're not alone," he reminded her. He knew the unfamiliar place was probably breaking her psychologically, but she had to keep her breaths in check. Plus, maybe solidifying the fact that he and Ms. Yui were here with her would help. At least... he hoped. He had no other cards in his hand to help bring her down from her panic attack. It wasn't like he was her boyfriend or anything close to it... He was stuck with saying and doing things as a friend, which could only go so far.

Ayumi could only find so much relief in the two's presence, as the location of all the others still hung in the air. "B...but where are the others? And... where are we!?" she panicked as the question weighed too much on her fragile mind. This wasn't right... They had been having fun until that earthquake hit. The last thing they had done was make that friendship pact. Ugh, what if one of them were hurt? This place looked dangerous, at least what she could see through the darkness looked dangerous. She felt sick as the fear for her friends and everyone else overwhelmed her. Her breathing could hardly begin to find a steady rhythm. She needed a paper bag to breath into or something. She felt so nauseated and faint from the pressure building in her head.

Yoshiki fell silent, but didn't move his hand... It was true, that they didn't know where the others were, or even what this place was... But being panicked wouldn't help the situation. "I... don't know, but we'll figure this out," he assured her, having nothing else in mind. It was then that Ms. Yui stepped closer, a hand on her waist.

"That's right, Ayumi. And we'll find everybody else, safe and sound!" she encouraged, putting on her best smile. Her students had to make it out okay! It was her duty as a teacher, in her eyes, to make sure her students were safe.

There were tears welling in the corner of Ayumi's eyes as she tried to gain the same control Ms. Yui and Yoshiki were showing. "R...right," she whimpered quietly. The panic attack was strangling her lungs, but it would pass... She had to get control of herself so they could begin to search for the others. '_We'll figure this out. Everyone is going to be fine,_' she assured herself, a blaze of determination starting in her chest.

* * *

A flash of lightning illuminated the rotting halls of Heavenly Host Elementary. It exposed the broken school in an instant, showing decaying flesh and bleach bones. The thunder that followed the flash sent a chill down Ayumi's back. "I guess we should head for the basement next..." she voiced aloud, her tone clearly showing hesitation with the suggestion. Basements were bad enough in a non-haunted school... but Heavenly Host's basement just spelled out bad luck. They didn't have much of a choice, though. They had to collect those tongues to appease the three spirits.

Yoshiki was uneasy at her suggestion, but... it did sound like a pretty suspect place. He couldn't argue with the fact that what they were looking for was probably down there. "I guess so...," he muttered, his tone similar to her's, but they had to at some point. After all, it sounded like a pretty important place. "But... how do we get there?" he asked, mostly to put the thought in her head as well as his. He didn't think she would have an answer, but it was better for that to be on two minds rather than just one, admittedly, dull one.

Ayumi's arms crossed under her chest as her brows furrowed at his question. How should they get to the basement? The stair wells don't seem to lead them to it... Did the school even have a basement? It must. "Uh... I don't really have any idea..." she admitted with a grimace. "I guess we'll have to find a way... Maybe a trash chute or something..." she mumbled thoughtfully. The last thing she wanted to do was try a trash chute, but she didn't have the luxury of being picky here. Whatever way they found to get downstairs would have to be grasped. It seemed like they would be searching a bit for a way down...

Yoshiki went silent for a small moment, considering their options. It seemed... the best thing they could do is roam around a little more to see if they missed something. "Then I guess... finding a way to go down is our next step," he said with a tired sigh, continuing down the hall. It was best to check the places they were unfamiliar with, he guessed...

Ayumi nodded weakly in agreement, not looking forward to their wandering. Even if they had searched an area, the school had a mind of its own and could shift anything around on them. They'd have to be thorough and persistent if they wanted to ever get home. The searching wore down on her. Her legs felt sore, her stomach empty, and her eyes heavy. When they were finally able to find new ground, she began to perk up a bit. After examining the new classroom, they left through the other door and into more new terrain. Although, it was only a short bit of a hallway, but against the wall there was something completely new. "An... incinerator?" Ayumi questioned as she stared at it. Could this be what they were looking for?

Yoshiki looked at the machine with suspicion, knelling down to look inside. "Yeah, maybe... It looks like it goes pretty far back... Want to check it out?" he asked curiously, sitting back a small ways and looking up at her questioningly. Sure, he'd like to keep her out of danger, but... her being alone was probably worse than coming with him.

Ayumi moved to look into it as well. Instantly she felt her entire mind go: '_Nonononononono,_' in a quick string of rejection of the idea. What if it was turned on? She didn't want to burn to death. Or what if they got caught in the tight space? She fidgeted a little, eyes narrowed into the dark unknown of the incinerator. "I don't have much of a choice..." she sighed, extremely weary of all of this. "Let's just move quickly... Hopefully this will lead us where we need to go," she said, something in her gut telling her this was the correct path.

Yoshiki nodded, understanding where her reluctance was coming from, but it probably was where they needed to go. He sighed nervously before moving into the contraption, feeling pretty fearful, but he'd stay calm in case Ayumi started to panic.

Ayumi hesitated for a moment before getting down to begin to travel through the incinerator. The close quarters were making her heart pick up to a wild degree. '_Don't turn on, don't turn on, please don't turn on,_' Ayumi mentally pleaded with whatever may or may not have the power to control this thing. Burning to death wasn't something she wanted to experience at all.

Yoshiki felt like they had been travelling forever, until a voice broke the silence. He paused, trying to keep his breaths even after this exercising. "TURN BACK. TURN BACK." yelled a female voice. It was threatening, but... they had nowhere else to go, and they had already come so far. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves before continuing on. He hoped he didn't get them killed... but if they turned back, what were they supposed to do? The thoughts were running through his mind as he continued, giving small, tired grunts and pants. Though, in an instant, it felt like the ground disappeared beneath him. He fell into the darkness, and landed, but he was unsure about where he was... exactly.

He was still in darkness, and his mind was completely disoriented. He attempted to move, but there was something pinning him. That, and... he must have landed on his arm wrong... It hurt like hell, but finding Ayumi was his top priority. He shifted to push off what was trapping his leg before attempting to stand. He was a little dizzy, but other than that, he could walk fine. He grabbed his injured arm, flinching at the pressure, but it was better than doing nothing. He attempted to call out for Ayumi, but his voice was lost, and his sight was a little blurry. Ugh, if his head could just find its bearings, he probably wouldn't have such a hard time finding her... He wanted to have the relief of knowing she was okay!

The skin on Ayumi's knee was being rubbed raw from crawling through this place. Every ounce of her hated every moment in it, so when the voice came booming through at them, she was tempted to do as it said. '_No, we have nowhere else to go,_' she scolded herself for being so willing to give in. Plus, Yoshiki seemed willing to keep going, so she couldn't back down either. The shuffling took its toll on her. Her breathing was heavy and small noises of complaint and exhaustion kept slipping out. When the ground disappeared under her, she let out a sharp cry before she hit the ground. She felt disoriented for a moment, shuffling to pull a candle out to get a better view of where she landed. When the match flicked to life, her eyes caught onto the sight of piles of corpses.

She had to light another match, the one before dropped in fright when she had been met with the many bodies. She couldn't adjust to the mindset of being cold towards the dead. The presence of them would always make her sick, no matter how many she found. After assuring her candle was lit, she looked around the room she landed in. It was filled with the dead, and the smell was atrocious. "Kishinuma!?" she called out, unable to find his figure in the darkness.

Yoshiki felt like he wasn't getting anywhere, stumbling over things and such. But then, his eyes caught onto a faint light, and a voice. It was Ayumi, for sure. He let out a sigh of relief, moving towards the light. Once he was close enough for the candle to be recognizable, Ayumi was visible too. He smiled slightly, his eyes moving from the flame to her face. Good... she was okay. "Shinozaki!" he responded finally, slowing down a bit. Though, with the new light and his eyes adjusting to it, he finally noticed what he had been tripping on and trapped under. Bodies... He felt a wave of sickness, but Ayumi was probably in a panic, so he'd keep his nerves in check. He had to be the strong one for her to lean on...

Ayumi relaxed a little when she saw and heard Yoshiki. For a moment there, she had been scared they may have lost each other in the incinerator. Her eyes quickly moved onto his arm, noticing the odd detail that he was holding it. "Are you okay?" she asked, eyes narrowing in concern that he may have injured his arm. That wasn't good... she didn't know what they could possibly do to fix it. If it was sprained or dislocated that was one thing... but if it was broken, there wasn't much that could be done beyond a makeshift sling.

Yoshiki smiled lightly at her, but it vanished to a more blank expression as she expressed concern for his arm. He glanced at his arm, moving his hand to see if there was any blood. No... Well, that at least meant he hadn't broken it badly enough for a bone to be sticking out. But that's all he could learn from looking at the outside. "I dunno... I don't think it's broken, so I should be okay... at least until we find a way out," he assured her, looking back at her with a small, unsure smile. "I just... landed on it weird... It's probably nothing, so don't worry over it," he insisted, letting his hands go into his pockets. His arm hurt in protest at the movement, but not in a way that made him think it may be broken. It was probably fine...

Ayumi gave him a strange look, tilting her head at him as she tried to measure his actual discomfort and the amount he was showing. She knew he always put up a strong front, though she never knew how genuine of a front it was. "You should probably still put it in a sling," Ayumi argued flatly. The scent of rotten flesh was heavy in the air, and she was finding it hard to stay in this room. "Ugh, let's get out of here first and then deal with this," she suddenly cut off before he could input anything else. She needed out of this room... it had more corpses in it than a typical Heavenly Host area, which was saying something.

Yoshiki was about to respond when she insisted they leave. He silently agreed with a nod, leading the way to some faint light he assumed to be a door way. Once they were out, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was musty, but at least it wasn't so thick with blood and death. Still, though... this place was darker than normal, and somehow had a more ominous feel to it. Yeah... he could bet they were in the basement... He was both thankful that they found it, but fearful because this felt like a place they really shouldn't be. He turned to Ayumi, guessing he'd pick up where they left off. If he didn't, she would... "Exactly... where would we get a sling down here?" he asked her curiously, not really speaking against her, but genuinely lost on how they'd manage that without an Infirmary to go to.

Ayumi took a heavy breath when they got out of the room. Even if her lungs still felt heavy, the air of thick musk was better than rotting flesh. She looked at Yoshiki as he picked up the conversation. She raised an eyebrow at him, figuring he never paid attention in health class and what to do in emergencies. "We'll use your jacket," she told him simply, as if the answer was obvious. "Or do you need all three layers?" she teased lightly with a soft smirk. In this instance, it paid off that he wore more than one, honestly. She probably wouldn't have insisted on anything if it meant he'd be taking off his only top layer.

Yoshiki felt a little silly at her answer. Oh yeah, he sort of... forgot about utilizing stuff like that. He then gave her a flat look, taking his hand out of his pocket to move his jacket off. "You seem to think I do," he noted, reminded of the time she refused his jacket, claiming he needed it instead. He had been too embarrassed by her shooting him down to argue with the idea that she only had one layer and was wearing a skirt. He would have... if his offer had been totally platonic. He finished pulling his jacket off his other arm, looking at her questioningly. But he doubted he needed to ask... After all, she probably already knew how hopeless he was with stuff like this.

Ayumi paused for a moment, unsure of what that statement meant. Then she remembered him offering her his jacket. Ehehe...he... whoops, she had completely forgotten about that. She probably would have kept the jibe to herself if she had remembered. It would've been just too weird to have been wearing his jacket. It was an action that only fit couples... She had no good reply, so she settled to just taking his jacket from him. She was testing her memory, but after a couple minutes of messing around with it, she was pretty sure she got it down. "Kneel down a bit, I need to tie this around you," she directed him. She was too short to be able to easily reach around his head and tie this all together.

Yoshiki took her silence as a small win on the teasing scale, even though he was probably more embarrassed by the actual event than Ayumi was just remembering it. When she finally spoke up after seemingly figuring out the whole sling thing, he did as ordered, moving down a little. It reminded him how much taller he was than her... Or, maybe more like how shorter she was? It may be a quality she loathed, but he found it quite cute...

Ayumi stepped closer as he lowered himself. First, she put the cupping part of the sling under his injured arm, and then moved the sleeves behind his neck. The entire thing was putting her uncomfortably close to him as she tied the sling behind him, blind. She could feel the warmth ebbing off of him. She tried to ignore the detail, because it wasn't important, and it was just making it harder to tie the damn knot. After tying the sling and double-knotting for security, she took a step back. "How does it feel?" she asked, unsure that the location she tied was the best spot to hold his arm up.

Yoshiki felt a familiar embarrassment drift over him as she moved closer. His heart was beating uncomfortable in his chest... Ugh, he hated this sometimes... He just hoped she never noticed. He flinched as his arm was moved, but after the small moment of discomfort, it felt better. When she finished, he straightened, glancing at her work, then moved his eyes back on her. "Good... Thanks, Shinozaki," he said with a small smile.

"You're welcome," Ayumi replied as she returned the smile lightly. After the moment, her eyes flickered back to a focused gaze. "Now I guess we have to search down here..." she mumbled. She pulled the doll out that had failed to appease the ghost children, resulting in Mayu's death. The unsettling toy had remained quiet, but it was supposed to key them into where the tongues were. There were definitely less doors to examine, but she had no idea where the hallways would lead them.

Yoshiki nodded, his expression also turning more determined, now that they were on the track to finding those tongues again. He turned to look down the hall, but he didn't know where they should start. "Which... way should we go?" he wondered aloud, since the way they had come in left two directions to go. Same hallway, but neither way was a place they had been before... Ugh, he hated being lost in this place.

Ayumi looked into both unending stretches of darkness. They were equally not tempting, but she knew they wouldn't get anything done just standing around. "Let's just go this way," Ayumi decided on the fly, choosing to go right. The hallway stretched for a while, until they came to a fork. '_Great, another choice,'_ Ayumi frowned. At this rate, it was going to take forever to find these tongues. She looked at the doll for a moment, almost expecting the creepy voice to come chiming out with directions, but it remained eerily silent. She sighed lightly before just choosing to head down. The hallway seemed to stretch endlessly, but finally there was a door visible in the basement walls. She froze for a second, something in her gut telling her to not go through it.

Yoshiki followed her quietly, letting her lead the way, since she held the candle. He paused at the door at her side, his brows furrowing as he felt a powerful uneasiness. He gulped quietly, trying to shake away the nervousness. "You... have a bad feeling too?" he asked Ayumi curiously, eyes glancing to the side at her, "The doll isn't reacting... Should we... skip it?" True, he sounded like more of a coward than he liked to let on normally, but it was more in concern for Ayumi's safety. Sure, he would try everything to protect her, but that didn't mean he was willing to put her in danger's way in the first place if it wasn't necessary.

Ayumi looked at Yoshiki, torn between taking the out and rejecting it. They both felt bad vibes coming from the room, and if Yoshiki was getting a bad enough feeling to be willing to skip it, there must be something wrong. "I think... we'll be setting ourselves back," Ayumi mumbled, eyes averted to the side. "We should at least take a quick look," she finally decided as her hand reached for the doorknob. She couldn't let herself think the decision out... She swallowed thickly before pushing the door open. Her mind froze as red filled her vision. Blood streaked on the ceilings, wall, floor... Parts of humans littered the room that seemed to be set aside for torture. There were buckets filled with syrupy blood. The pungent smell of death was unyielding. A sharp gasp escaped Ayumi as her reaction was to instantly back out of the room.

'DIG DIG DIG.

WHAT YOU SEEK IS BURIED

UNDER FLESH AND BLOOD'

The doll's high-pitched voice rang out. Ayumi's hand clutched it in a vice, and bile rose in her throat at the instructions. A wail escaped her as fresh tears began to spill in disgust and fear. This room was worse than all of Heavenly Host so far with its blood covered walls. "Nonononono," she began to mutter, dropping the doll and candle as her hands clutched her head.

Yoshiki was anxious at her answer, but he didn't argue with her. He followed her, tense as she began to open the door. The smell, and sight, of the room that was revealed after it was opened rivaled even the one they had just been in earlier. He fought the reaction to gag and turn away from the room. He glanced at the doll, his expression darkening at its words. That's-... How revolting... He looked worriedly at Ayumi as she seemed to break down, his brows furrowing. He definitely didn't want her to have to do this... but he didn't want to do it either, dammit!... But, he couldn't give in... they needed that tongue. He took in a deep, shaky breath, pressing his palm against his forehead as he tried to convince himself to do this. "... Sh-Shinozaki... You should go back in the hall, to calm down..," he told her as calmly as he could manage, letting his hand slip down back to his side. He wasn't saying outright that he was going to take on this gruesome task... He didn't want to. But he hoped she caught on to the deeper meaning of why he was suggesting she leave.

Ayumi's breathing was coming out in raspy gasps, the room smothering her. Heavenly Host as a whole was able to wear away at her mind, but being in this room with all its evil vibes was eating away the edges of her mind. She was pretty sure she was going to vomit... Putting her hands in what used to be people? No, no, no. She couldn't do it. Her thoughts derailed at Yoshiki's voice. She looked at him, brow furrowing as her rational side grasped the unsaid words. Was it right to leave him to this task? It wasn't, but she also couldn't stay in this death-soaked room. "O...okay..." she replied in a small voice. She felt ashamed of herself, leaving the disturbing goal set by the doll to Yoshiki. She couldn't begin to muster the stomach to dig through human remains, though. With only a brief second of hesitation, she slipped out of the room and retreated to the darkness of the hallway.

The nauseated feeling sloshing around in her stomach and throat didn't feel much better. She was almost sure the smell of death was clinging to her. "I'm sorry Kishinuma," she mumbled quietly to the empty hallway as her heart beat painfully that he was being forced to slosh through the many piles of death. She could have helped... cut the time down... taken some of the responsibility off his shoulder... but she couldn't get herself to go back into the room. The saliva in her mouth came heavily as she felt the possibility of vomit increase. Her body broke into a heat flash, sweat dripping down her face. '_W...what's wrong with me?_' she questioned as she pressed a hand against her forehead. Her vision turned fuzzy, the sharp shapes of the hallway becoming an unidentifiable blur. She opened her mouth to call for Yoshiki in alarm, something feeling overwhelmingly wrong with her. She had no voice to call for him, though. Instead, her vision depleted into darkness, and her body fell to the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

The room was silent... dark... except for the faint light of the computer screen and opened window. Fall had just started, so the air coming through was warm and comfortable. There was a wintry smell wafting through, and the leaves were just starting to turn.

But these things weren't anything he paid attention to. All the days, seasons, and months blurred together for him. The only day he could pick out from any other was her birthday, and occasionally his own. And the only day he looked forward to... was the day she woke up.

Yoshiki sat in the empty room, on a couch that was just across from where Ayumi sat. He spent hours like this, just staring at her dim, downcast eyes. It almost felt like looking at her drained his soul as well... but that wasn't any sort of supernatural thing, that caused all their misfortune before. He just... yearned for her, and nothing else. And as each day went by, with no sign of recovery, he felt like... he was losing his own will. Three years... That was how long Ayumi had been in this state. He wouldn't say she was a 'drain', though... Still, even like this, Ayumi was what gave him fulfillment. Without her... especially all they had been through, his life would feel completely empty... That may just be a knee jerk feeling, but on the other hand, he didn't think it would be as such... That's also why he couldn't give her up to some ward, where he wouldn't know how she was doing and where some random person who didn't care about her specifically would be watching over her. He... just couldn't do it! He wanted to be here for her, always, no matter what. Though it was hard, he'd never give up on her.

He sighed solemnly, looking away for a small moment. He wished he could save her, like so many years before, but it just wasn't so easy anymore. Now, he was helpless... The thought made him want to break down on the spot, but keeping his composure had become a sort of instinct. Maybe to protect himself now, instead of protecting others like it used to be. His eyes met hers again, though they were narrowed as a sorrowful expression overcame him. No... Being depressed wouldn't help her, as he had to constantly remind himself. He took a deep breath, releasing a shaky sigh before putting on a small, sad smile. "Happy Birthday, Shinozaki... You're 22 now, you know that?" he asked with a small tilt of his head, his hands rubbing one another nervously. "It doesn't feel so long ago... since high school," he murmured nostalgically, his hands' grasps tightening. Since... before she had completely lost her will to keep on...

Satoshi approached the door with a weary expression. It wasn't unusual to come visit Yoshiki and Ayumi, since he tried to do it as often as his life would allow him. It rarely felt like a genuinely happy affair, though. After all, even when Yoshiki and him would get into conversations that resembled the old days... Ayumi was still there with sightless eyes. It freaked Satoshi out, that the girl that used to be brimming with personality was now an empty vessel. He missed the days she served as class rep, leading them all with such spirit. He raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door, trying to keep his expression normal. Today was going to be a slightly different purposed meeting. Ugh, he wished he didn't have to bring this up today, on her birthday, but he was going back to school and wouldn't be able to get back until winter break.

Yoshiki was snapped out of a small daze at a knock. It must have been Satoshi... He sat for a moment before simply standing, walking towards the door. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves down as he attempted to look normal. If Satoshi noticed he's changed at all, he'd never let him hear the end of it... He unlocked and opened the door once he was ready, able to confirm that it was Satoshi. "Hey. Come on in," he invited, stepping back to allow room for Satoshi to walk in.

Satoshi gave a small smile in greeting despite the weight on his chest. He was well-aware what he was going to say might get him hit... either way, he was expecting this trip to be pleasant. He'd at least try to lead into the suggestion tactfully. "Hey," Satoshi greeted as he entered. "So, what's going on?" Satoshi asked, starting off with the basic pleasantries of conversation. He knew what was going on with Yoshiki... scrambling by to take care of both Ayumi and himself. Although, something tells Satoshi that he may be neglecting the latter in the process. He admired Yoshiki for doing what he was, but... how long could this go on for?

Yoshiki eyed Satoshi with a weary expression for a small moment, before shutting the door and responding. "You know... Just the same old same old," he answered simply, turning to face his friend with a neutral disposition instead. It was true Satoshi had never directly touched the topic of Ayumi, but he always seemed to carry concern in his voice about random comments when talking vaguely about Ayumi or Yoshiki's current situation. He always kept his anger in check, since he knew the intentions were good, and he never approached the actual issue. But that didn't mean Yoshiki wasn't suspicious of it... He could only hope Satoshi would already understand his adamant disposition on the topic. "So what about you?" he asked curiously, moving his hands into his pants pockets.

Same old same old meant that Ayumi's status still hadn't changed. Satoshi had kept quiet for the past three years on the subject... but they were hitting a point where Yoshiki needed to live his own life. It wasn't like he was suggesting pulling any sort of plug, but the suggestion he would make may be equally upsetting of an idea for Yoshiki. "Ah, you know, just preparing to go back to school," Satoshi said with a small shrug. His eyes glanced over to Ayumi, although it was hard to think of her as such.

Yoshiki nodded with a small hum, still watching him carefully. He noticed his gaze went to Ayumi, but it wasn't too out of the ordinary... well, not much at least. Satoshi did have a sort of nervousness to the way he was talking... Something only a best friend would pick up on, and it was definitely off, but he was probably just on edge. "So... is this your last year, or are you going for a higher degree?" he asked curiously. He wasn't sure if he had asked before... but it was the only conversation he could think of that was on topic. He... had been going to college, but he dropped out practically as soon as Ayumi fell into the state she was in. Straight from high school into college, but due to his problems with money and time to spare, he had made the ultimate decision to put it off until Ayumi got better. A year and a half, almost, of college and tuition, that just couldn't be managed in his maelstrom of a life. It didn't mean he was giving up on school. He was just... putting what he felt to be more important first.

"Well, for right now this is looking like it'll be my last year," Satoshi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. Ugh, how should he even begin to approach this idea? "If I go any higher, hopefully whatever company I end up working for would pay for the masters," he further explained. After a lot of griping in the idea of setting a major, he defaulted to business. It would give him the ability to go into a lot... or maybe even try running some store himself one day. He wasn't so sure where the future would lead him. He paused for a moment, a question entering his mind. He felt such anxiety about addressing this, but he couldn't beat around the bush. "Y'know... you should consider going back to school. Take a night class or two..." he suggested in the best casual way he could muster.

Yoshiki nodded lightly, closing his eyes for a short moment. "They probably would. Big companies tend to like the higher educated, and will pay them more so they stick around," he commented, opening his eyes again to look at Satoshi. He didn't know too much about the business world... but he didn't have to to know that if a company encounters a smart, efficient worker, they'll do more to keep them around, so rivals don't offer them more of a pay check and steal them. He then noticed a thick silence forming. He didn't attempt to fill the quiet atmosphere with another topic to talk about. Instead, he stared expectantly at Satoshi, wondering where he'd go next. His eyes narrowed slightly at the question, but his expression was unchanging, since it was a simple suggestion. It didn't have to do with Ayumi... At least, not with the words Satoshi used. So, he'd treat it just as Satoshi phrased it. Simply 'going back to school', without changing his current position. "I will, eventually... Everything's just too tight right now," he explained with a small shrug.

Satoshi frowned, eyes averting to the side for a moment. Okay, this was his chance to just go forward with it. Even if it might piss Yoshiki off, he had to at least try to push him in the direction of the idea. It was bad enough losing Ayumi, but he felt like he was losing Yoshiki too. Yoshiki's entire world spiraled with her's, but now he was practically a hermit because Ayumi needed constant care. "About that... maybe you should consider putting Shinozaki in an ICU," he said, unable to find a gentler way to phrase it. "The hospital on Cooper Plaza is well-equipped to deal with coma patients... After all, it's been three years. No one would think less of you if you relinquished care into professional hands," he said quickly, knowing that he was playing with fire, poking a sleeping bear, and any other saying that meant this was almost definitely going to piss Yoshiki off and end badly. Still, he had to suggest it. Put an out there for him if he did realize he was in over his head. It wasn't like Ayumi would be happy to know Yoshiki's pushed school back... well, actually, pushed most of his life back.

Yoshiki waited in the silence for Satoshi's answer, but the way his expression was, he was starting to think his suspicions were right. He tensed as Satoshi started, using his last answer to followup. With the actual suggestion, his switch had been flipped. A fire erupted in his chest, his weary gaze turning into a sharp, harsh glare. The talk about the place being qualified gave him no comfort, his fury with Satoshi only escalating. "... Professional?... Sure... but they wouldn't care," he pointed out sharply, his voice somewhat strained to remain even through his anger. They would take care of her, but no one at those kinds of places actually cared about a patient like Ayumi. He wouldn't say she was in a coma... After all, her eyes were open. The problem was that they were sightless. She wasn't all there... but that didn't mean she wouldn't come back. His fists clenched as he thought more about the whole conversation, the fact that Satoshi was trying to make him abandon Ayumi, in a sense, was driving him mad. "You and Nakashima can do whatever the hell you want, but I'm NOT deserting Shinozaki! Any chance of her snapping out of it... would disappear if I left her behind too! I'm all she has left at this point, and you're still asking me to ditch her like you did?!" he shouted, his collected facade slipping away. It was an unfair thing to say, and he knew it, but he wouldn't take it back. He approached Satoshi, grabbing his collar and forcing him against the wall, his eyes narrowed. "She's like this because of all the shit that happened to her. Her family's gone, her friend's are gone... I won't leave her by herself! Never... As long as her life's on pause, mine is too, so when she comes back, she's not completely alone," he told Satoshi with a sort of venom in his tone, though his high hopes for her return were also shone through his words. Maybe not soon... but eventually, she'd come back, and he'd be here, waiting. The hand that held Satoshi's collar shook lightly with anger, until he finally released him and shoved him away towards the door. His back was to him, his heart fueled by anger. "Get out," he ordered coldly, his eyes narrowing at the opposite wall. It may be cruel to treat Satoshi, his best friend, like that when he was only concerned for him, but he wouldn't stand for the idea of leaving Ayumi in the care of strangers.

Satoshi tensed as Yoshiki's face contorted to an expression fueled by rage. He was prepared for Yoshiki to accuse the entire hospital of being a cold place, but what he wasn't prepared for was being told he deserted Ayumi. His chest tightened, but he could hardly get a word in edgewise. The accusation stung, because he didn't want to just accept the idea that Naomi and he ditched her. His eyes widened as his collar was suddenly grabbed, and he was shoved roughly against the wall. As Yoshiki kept speaking, it became clear he wasn't going to accept the idea. He was the only person in the world willing to take her in and take care of her, but it still seemed wrong for him to allow his world to stop. He could tell that Yoshiki believed truly that Ayumi would wake up. That suddenly she'd snap back into awareness and the past years could be a bad dream. At his release, he rubbed a spot on his neck where his shirt had rubbed harshly against. "Yoshiki, you need to realize that she may never wake up. No doctor could give a clear answer on what's going on and if she'll recover. You need to start having a life that doesn't revolve around her," he said steadily, unwilling to follow Yoshiki's order. He didn't care if Yoshiki took a swing at him. He needed to hear that the reality was Ayumi may be gone forever.

Yoshiki was only pushed further as Satoshi went on. Why didn't he get it?! Why couldn't he just leave him alone about his choice?! His hand clenched into a fist, his chest feeling tight. He turned and landed a hit on the side of Satoshi's face, which sent him back a little ways. "I won't give up on her like you did,"he told him sternly, his fist still shaking with anger. "I owe everything to Shinozaki! I only have a life because of her! Because she DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!" he yelled, his eyes shutting tight as his fury boiled over. He panted slightly before opening his eyes to place his glare once again on Satoshi. He walked up and went around him, pulling open the door. He grabbed the back of Satoshi's shirt, pulling him over and then pushing him out, since he obviously wouldn't adhere to his words. "Of course she won't wake up if no one believes she will. No one survives alone... That's why I'm not ditching her. If you can't understand that... then I want you to leave me alone, permanently," he told him coldly before slamming the door shut and locking it. He stepped back from the door a little, letting out a shaky sigh. He pressed his palm against his forehead as he got a little dizzy from the anger pulsing through his mind. Though the argument passed, his limbs were still shaky, and he felt uneven. He then caught up with what he had done... He had hit and broken ties with his best friend. He suddenly felt a bit sick, so he leaned against the wall to slide down it and sit. He slid a hand anxiously through his hair, shutting his eyes tightly as his breaths came out ragged. Now... he was alone again... But really... he had always been alone in this endeavor, so he guessed it was fitting. Satoshi didn't understand... just how much he owed to Ayumi, and how much he really cared for her... He had always been willing to to sacrifice his life for Ayumi... because it was her that gave it to him, when he hadn't deserved it.

Satoshi was aware what he was saying may get him hit, since it wasn't like throwing a swing would be unusual for Yoshiki to do. Being on the receiving end of it was certainly weird, but he was admittedly provoking him. He hissed slightly, the first knocking his teeth painfully and making him dizzy. Yoshiki's yells rattled in his brain, and before he could think of a proper response through the pain and yelling, he was being yanked and pushed out of the apartment. He composed himself enough to listen to Yoshiki's last words. He stood stunned, staring at the closed door as Yoshiki's words soaked in. 'Shit,' he mentally cursed, letting out a shaky breath. That had gone horribly... It played out like the worse case scenario. There's no way Yoshiki actually meant that, though... right? He was extremely angry... volatile. This would pass... or it wouldn't. He didn't want to lose Yoshiki too, but now he had no ability to do anything. He turned away from the door in defeat, accepting he'd just have to give him time.

Yoshiki had sat there for a while to let his nerves calm down. It may have been in the heat of the moment... but he meant what he said. If Satoshi kept on that stupid suggestion, he wouldn't associate with him... He glanced to Ayumi, frowning lightly. They her expression remained the same, his guilt still bubbled up from yelling at Satoshi in front of her. He placed his hands on the ground to help push him up to stand, walking quietly over to her. "I'm... sorry for that... But it's true... I'll never leave you by yourself," he determined, knelling down slightly to look more into her downcast eyes. His brows furrowed lightly, a small frown forming on his face. "You... would want that, right?" he asked, though knew he wouldn't get a response. His hands rubbed together nervously as he waited in silence. "Heh... though you'd say I should be in school, and stuff like that... you'd be glad I didn't leave you on the inside," he guessed, giving a small solemn smile.

As he sat and thought for a bit more, he went deeper into how Ayumi would feel. She was always putting herself down in the last years that she was still alert. Despite his many attempts to tell her otherwise, she always blamed herself for their friends' deaths... He slowly stood, his eyes narrowed slightly, though they held a caring shine in them. His hand lifted hesitantly to move some hair behind her ear, his heart sinking. "You'll never be alone... I'll be here, always...," he mentioned, a certain longing in his voice, mixed in with sadness, "And you know... it's not your fault... it never was. No one could have known... and no one blames you, but you..." His heart only seemed to drop further, but he would keep back his feelings. He wanted to feign normalcy, so it all felt a little easier. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, taking his hand back and sitting on the couch with a sigh.


	4. Chapter 4

The rain was pouring down heavily outside, beating against the roof of the elementary school. Ayumi felt a certain dizziness eating the edges of her mind, making it hard to focus. They were... looking for tongues? No... yes... they found one... two? Why did she feel so confused and unfocused. "Kishinuma... I think I need to sit down for a little bit," she suddenly voiced her concern. It felt like the world was shifting around her. As they walked, holes shifted around the floor, blood patterns changed, and posters had new words on them. Maybe the closed spaces were changing sporadically, and it was messing with her head. Or, maybe she needed a nap. Either way, she knew something felt off, and she couldn't feign normalcy much longer.

Yoshiki was trying to keep focused. They only needed one more tongue, and they could get out of here. But then, he heard Ayumi, and instantly switched his focus to her. He nodded, concern in his eyes. "Alright, go ahead," he agreed without any argument, leading her to the wall, standing close in case she fainted. She did sound pretty out of it... He hoped she was okay...

Ayumi nodded gratefully that he didn't try to push her to go a bit farther, because they were close to their goal. Right? Yeah... she was pretty sure they were close to getting out of here. Maybe those possessions really got to her or something. She slumped back against the wall, sliding slowly to the ground until she sat. "S...sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me," she muttered quietly. It wasn't nausea... Her mind just felt off. Everything around her felt off as well.

Yoshiki watched her slide down to sit, slowly following her down. He sat at her side, though he made sure to stay out of her personal space. "It's fine. Just focus on getting better," he told her with a small swat of his hand, dismissing the apology. Though, he did wonder what was wrong with her...

Though, within a few moments, his gaze softened out of nowhere. His hand lifted hesitantly toward her, carrying out the familiar brushing of her hair behind her ear. "You'll never be alone... I'll be here, always...," he told her, his eyes narrowing slightly, sincerity in his tone, "And you know... it's not your fault... it never was. No one could have known... and no one blames you, but you..."

Ayumi hummed lightly at his direction as she shut her eyes. She'd give herself a little time to relax... but they really had to get back onto the right path. They're close to getting ho- Her eyes snapped opened as she felt a hand brush hair behind her ear. '_The hell-!?_' she thought, brow furrowed as mortifying waves of confusion spilled over her. The expression in his eyes was just weird on him. The softness wasn't something she was used to seeing, especially directed at her. His words only served to send her further down the pit of absolute befuddlement. First her face shifted to a bright red as he suddenly said something that felt way too close to some sort of confession. Although, what it shifted to was something that triggered an angry reaction. "What are you talking about!? What the hell are you-!?" she began to yell at him, but a sharp pain went through her head that made talking impossible for a moment. Her head was pounding in something worse than any migraine.

Yoshiki withdrew his hand at her angry response, his expression snapping back to something more natural for him. He blinked at her, his brows furrowing in concern as she expressed pain. "Hey, you okay, Shinozaki?" he asked worriedly, lifting a hand to be placed on her shoulder. He was acting as if the whole exchange before hadn't even happened.

Ayumi was sufficiently freaked out. The changes in his behavior were setting her on edge. Was he losing his mind? Or was that a possession? But... no ghost would release control so easily! "Am I okay!? You're the one who is having mood swings!" she said sharply as she jerked away from his touch. She stumbled quickly to her feet, distancing herself from Yoshiki because in this place, you couldn't be too careful.

Yoshiki withdrew his hand after she moved away, a small frown forming. Where was this hostility coming from? Ugh, it was sad how much it affected him when Ayumi treated him like this. He slowly stood, keeping his eyes on her. "Mood... swings?" he asked her, utterly confused. He had just been sitting there... "I didn't say anything," he informed her, obviously believing this to be true. Besides telling her to rest and asking her if she was okay, he hadn't done a thing. And both of those things weren't out of the ordinary, right?...

Ayumi's eyes narrowed at him. Her head was throbbing in a hot pain, but she knew what she heard... and felt. "Liar!" she snapped. If this was his attempt to joke around and lighten the atmosphere, it was an awful idea. "You were saying weird things! You brushed hair behind my ear!" she yelled, unable to keep the volume of her voice down. She felt borderline hysteric as her only companion's mind was faltering.

Yoshiki flinched at her yelling voice, the accusations sounding completely unfamiliar. He blushed slightly at the allegation that he brushed hair behind her ear. He would never! There was no way that was true! "I didn't! You just started having a headache and I asked if you were okay," he insisted, not wanting to have Ayumi mad at him for no reason.

"It's not like I would make that up!" Ayumi said stiffly, arms crossing over her chest. It sounded like... they both had very different ideas of what just happened. She knew what she felt, saw, and heard, though. She couldn't even begin to figure out what was happening. "Urk..." she grunted at another sharp pain in her head. Her hands grabbed her head, pressing down as if the pressure would alleviate her pain. Even more distressingly, she felt a wetness travel over her lips. She blinked, a hand moving from her hand to her face. Her fingers felt wet on contact, and when she pulled her hand back, there was blood on her fingers. She blinked slowly, realizing her nose had begun to bleed.

Yoshiki's eyes widened at the sight of blood, his look growing more concerned again."Eh?... What... caused this?" he seemed to ask himself, his brows furrowing. He reached inside his jacket's inner pocket to pull out the cloth all the uniforms came with. He approached Ayumi, one hand resting on the top of her head, while the other moved to clean the blood off, instead of him just simply giving her the cloth so she could do it herself. His look grew more worried, his eyes narrowing. "Please... Don't be getting worse," he murmured, again mostly to himself than to her directly.

Ayumi's eyes shifted from her fingers to Yoshiki in confusion, because the way he spoke didn't seem to be directed at her. She tensed as he approached her, unable to process everything happening. Her heart skipped and stomach dropped as she felt the pressure of his hand on top of her head. "E-eh!?" she squeaked, but her legs felt powerless to take those steps that would give her her personal space back. She felt waves of embarrassment roll over her as he suddenly took the task of cleaning her off. Why the hell hadn't he given her the cloth? And what the hell was he talking about this time!? "Kishinuma!" she snapped, body frozen in place. "What the hell are you doing!?" she asked sharply, eyes narrowed at him as he just made everything more confusing. Her mind and body felt like it was betraying her, and now he seemed to be possessed or something.

Yoshiki stepped back at her shout, his eyes seemingly coming back to focus on hers. His eyes widened, confusion hitting him as he had moved, but... he didn't remember doing so. He looked over at the slightly blood covered cloth, fear striking him. Was he... really losing it?! His heart beat uncomfortably fast, and he could feel sweat from the fear already form and roll down the side of his face. He looked at Ayumi, backing away slightly. "I... I don't..," he muttered in response, shaking his head as his eyes went to the floor, still wide. He pressed his palm to his forehead, his fingers grasping his hair. He... was certainly starting to feel crazy... There was no other explanation, right? Then... was he a danger to Ayumi? Pain and fear struck him hard at that thought, and his breath turned slightly ragged. At the idea of being dangerous to Ayumi, panic was a very prominent feeling in his entire being.

Ayumi's hand pressed nervously over her chest as she looked at a panicked Yoshiki wearily. What was happening?! It was all going as plan until her head had begun to hurt. It must... be the presence of ghosts that was doing this, right? She grimaced in pain as she watched Yoshiki seem to begin to breakdown. She didn't like it. He was supposed to stay level-headed... His panic only made her own feel magnified. "W-what's going on!?" she wailed, hands moving to grab her arms in a type of self-hug. It couldn't be the darkening, could it!? No, Yoshiki wasn't behaving violently... Actually, his actions had only been ones of affection. She tried to settle herself down before she forced herself into a full-blown panic attack. It wasn't... like he was trying to kill her. But what he kept saying in his weird moments made no sense.

Yoshiki was alerted at her wail, looking up but not moving his hand, nor did his expression change. His brows furrowed, his heart beating fast. "I-I... don't know...," he admitted, stepping back again, because he was truly starting to believe he was a danger to Ayumi. The last thing he wanted... was for her to be hurt by his hand. But he couldn't leave her by herself!... Then... Then what the hell was he supposed to do?! He was getting more panicked, his breaths turning into coughs, making one eye squint shut. His hand finally slipped down, only to clutch his side, the panic fully grabbing him physically.

Ayumi frowned as she watched Yoshiki appear to be going down a spiral. "Kishinuma, get a hold of yourself," she said firmly, trying to adopt a firm, unwavering voice. She certainly didn't feel confident in anything that was happening, but she also knew that this panic wasn't helping. "You aren't... trying to hurt me or anything... Maybe we just need to hurry up and find that last tongue," she said thoughtfully. What was happening made little sense. If Yoshiki was becoming violent or cruel, it would fit within the laws of the school. His little odd moments didn't fall under the category as something the school would seemingly control. Maybe... the pressure was getting to him...

Yoshiki tried to get his breathing under control, especially as Ayumi began to talk. Haah... It was the opposite of how it usually was... This time, he was the one being consumed by panic and Ayumi was being forced to put on the brave face. It was embarrassing, and he felt bad for putting her in that position. He eventually got his breath into just light pants, his hand slowly moving from his side. He looked at her, but was still worried. "Maybe not now... but how can you be so sure that I won't later on?" he asked, his tone full of concern as he revealed what was making his head fill with worry.

Ayumi now felt awful for freaking out so horribly at the weird shifts he went through. Urgh, but it wasn't like it was smart to play it loose in Heavenly Host. Well, she reacted the way she did, and she couldn't change that now. What he had said... still bothers her... but it was probably something not meant for her. She met his eyes as he pushed on the concern of the possibility of him becoming violent. "I... can't..." she admitted as her eyes narrowed. This place always had tricks up its sleeves... Even worse, the school twisted personalities. But, she wasn't so sure that's what was happening to Yoshiki."But, I think it would be stupider to separate now," she said with a small frown. She knew he was concerned..., but the only alternative would sooner lead them both to death.

Yoshiki wasn't very comforted by her words. It was true that they would both die sooner if they split up, but he couldn't stand the thought that after all they had been through, he might end up being the one... killing Ayumi in this place. It felt awful... but what else was he supposed to do? "I know that, but... I... I'm terrified that out of everything, I might be the one that hurts you... or even..," he started, though his voice trailed off, since he very much wanted to avoid talk of her dying. This felt like too big an issue to just drop on the premise that they couldn't survive alone. He knew that, but... maybe they could prepare, or something... Maybe... Ayumi could find a weapon, so that if he turned violent, she wouldn't be defenseless...

Ayumi stared at him as he continued to panic. She could understand why he was scared, since possession felt like the same thing to her. She would lose consciousness as some spirit took her body for its own... They never addressed her easily possessed mind, though... That could be chalked down to Ayumi's body would need a cheat to overpower Yoshiki, so the concern was less great. If Yoshiki turned... She could run, but even that may only work for so long. "It's stupid to waste time talking about this. The sooner we get out, the sooner this isn't an issue. There's nothing we can do right now, and it may not even happen again so let's just go," she said forcefully. She was well aware she couldn't do this without Yoshiki and they were _so_ close. If Yoshiki became violent... She'd figure it out then. There was little in preventative actions they could do.

Yoshiki still wasn't pleased, but there wasn't much he could argue with. There may not be much they could do about it... But she at least needed a little precaution! He glanced around nervously, until his eye caught onto a glint. He turned and walked over, picking up the shining object. _This'll have to do..._, he thought, finding some solace in figuring out a small way for her to prepare and maybe protect herself. He turned to her, stepping closer to give her the sharp broken glass. "I hope you won't have to use it... But just in case something goes wrong... okay?" he asked, urging her to take it. He knew she wouldn't want to hurt a friend, but he didn't want her to be defenseless. "Please? I don't want to end up hurting you," he somewhat begged.

Ayumi watched him through narrowed eyes as he didn't respond but began to walk away. Her chest tightened as he came back, the piece of broken glass looked obnoxiously bright in his hand. Her hands stayed firmly at her sides as she looked at the potential weapon with a look of disgust. She knew he was scared, but she refused to accept what may end up being a murder weapon. She refused to take it on grounds she wouldn't kill a friend. She couldn't- Her head was burning again. _'It's not your fault... it never was. No one could have known... and no one blames you, but you,_' the words echoed in her head. Her head felt like it was on fire... almost as if her mind was on the cusp of something, and it was stressing itself out trying to grasp what may explain this behavior. She realized she was standing in silence, just staring at the glass. "No. I won't use it," Ayumi said, rejecting any idea. She knew it would make him feel better, but she wasn't willing to accept the idea that she may have to kill him.

Yoshiki waited anxiously in the silence. He hoped he'd be allowed to be selfish for once... He knew Ayumi would never want to use a weapon, especially against someone she knew well, but he couldn't stand the thought of harming her. His heart sunk at her answer, his grip increasing slightly as his nerves were put on edge, though it wasn't tight enough to cut his hand. "Shinozaki... I couldn't stand it if I lost you here... But if I'm the one who causes your death, I couldn't-..." his voice trailed off, his gaze turning to the floor.

Ayumi's jaw tightened as she glared at the glass. The thought of stabbing Yoshiki with it made her nauseated. To have the blood of her friend on her hands... To be directly responsible... '_But... you already have a body count..._' a small voice chimed in the back of her head. What does that mean? She's never... "I'm sorry Kishinuma... but I won't kill you if it comes to that," she said, shaking her head. "It's not like you'll be in your own mind if you try to kill me, either way," she dismissed, trying to convince herself that it was fine to ignore Yoshiki's feelings. If he did kill her, his mind would already be lost. It wasn't like he could grieve.

Yoshiki brought his eyes back to her, obviously finding no comfort in her words. "How do you know that for sure?" he questioned, his voice low and concerned. Even if she was right, and he wouldn't know it, it gave him no comfort. Though maybe... it was just simply his job to take the burden... "... Alright, never mind... We'll just keep going then... We're on the third tongue, right?" he asked, shifting the conversation completely as he tossed the glass shard aside and kept walking. He guessed any pain... was something he should bear for Ayumi... He had just forgotten in his panic, he guessed...

Ayumi was a little shocked as he shifted to just go along with continuing their goal. She wondered what changed in that split second, but she wasn't going to question it. This is what she wanted... to ignore Yoshiki's weird little switches and just continue on. '_It isn't like he's turning violent,_' she told herself, reaffirming her decision to just go along. She was scared, but she didn't think he would try to murder her. "Right... The doll hasn't said anything yet, so I guess we should just wander until it does," Ayumi said , cringing at the thought of the doll's high-pitched voice. She really hated it.

* * *

Yoshiki didn't know how long they had walked through the school, looking for that tongue... They were so close, but they couldn't find that last one... Of course they'd be stuck here... But, at least there hadn't been another moment like earlier. Or at least... Ayumi hadn't told of another moment. Though as they kept going, his eyes dulled ever so slightly, until he stopped walking completely. He didn't look blank, but rather had that solemn feel about him again. He grew a sad small, his eyes somewhat unfocused. "Time... kinda flies, doesn't it, Shinozaki?" he asked, but didn't wait long for an answer, apparently not expecting one, "It seems like just days ago we were graduating... But now you're twenty-two, and in just a few months, I'll turn twenty-three... Even though it's just the twenties, it feels like we're getting old so fast..."

Ayumi kept moving a few steps until she realized the sound of two groups of footsteps became one. She paused, stopping and turning around to ask Yoshiki if he figured out where the tongue was. Her curious look shifted to a furrowed brow and deep frown. '_N-not again. What is he even...,_' Ayumi began to think, but the thought hurt. He mentioned her name... That meant this wasn't a possession. It meant it had to be Yoshiki, right? B-but... they were only seventeen! He was talking as if they were five years older! He was talking like- "Aah!" she yelped as a sharp pain dug through her brain with the precision of a knife. Her knees crumpled under her as her hands grasped her head. She wasn't- She was seventeen! Not twenty-two! None of this made any sense! Memories began in a flurry as they collided in her head with sickening precision.

It all hit her. A small crack was made in her armor, and now there was just metal shards surrounding her. Heavenly Host... Mayu, Ms. Yui, Sakutaro, and Seiko... they all died because of her failure. The Sachiko Charm was what brought them all there... She wasn't... They had escaped. They appeased Sachiko. It was all hazy, and she was pretty sure she was close to being physically sick. Years were tumbling loose in her head at a rapid pace. Her parents... Hinoe... died. In a car accident she would have been in if she hadn't faked sick to get out of going to the dinner. "No, no, no! I don't want to remember!" she screamed, regretting the crack she allowed to be made. The memories were too much.

Yoshiki snapped out of it, confused as Ayumi was now ahead of him. Plus, she looked like she was in pain... It looked like the same kind of headache she got when he... said those strange things... It must have happened again... He quickly approached her, knelling down in front of her and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Shinozaki! What's happening?!" he asked with concern. He knew it was stupid to ask if she was okay, but he had to talk to her in some way. That question was the first thing that came to his mind, plus she was yelling about remembering something. What exactly had she forgotten that hurt her so much?

Ayumi's eyes flickered to Yoshiki as he spoke to her, and she didn't know how to respond. She wasn't quite sure what was happening. The memories of Heavenly Host, getting out, her family dying, and graduation from Kisaragi were all blooming in her head. They felt so real and vivid. The grief in her chest weighed her down so heavily. She couldn't even begin to tell herself they were lies. But... how did she get back here? With Yoshiki? Why didn't he remember anything? Tears began to well in the corners of her eyes. The deaths, the fear, and the confusion were too much. "I... I don't know!" she said, voice quivering as she suppressed sobs.

Yoshiki was more concerned, as she seemed to not even know what was going on herself. Was she just confused and mixed up, or was she more lost, like he was? Still, he wouldn't leave her side, even if he had nothing in mind to say. He'd sit and keep his hand on her shoulder, until she got her bearings a little better. He wished he wasn't so limited in comforting her... This was all he could do, and it probably didn't help her much, if at all.

Ayumi swallowed thickly as she tried to get a hold of herself. Yoshiki didn't seem to be affected the same way... So, she had to calm down and figure this all out herself. "D-do... you remember... getting out of Heavenly Host?" she asked quietly, looking at him as she tried to center her gaze. She needed to be strong. She needed to figure all of this out.

Yoshiki stared at her as she spoke, his brows furrowing in confusion. Getting out?... No, they had just gotten here, and were getting the tongues so they could get out. He shook his head quietly, concerned with the question. "No... We got stuck here with everyone else, remember? Or... do remember something different?" he questioned, utterly lost on exactly what was going on. Did she have a memory of escaping Heavenly Host? And if so, how? They were obviously still stuck, and no sane person would come back here after escaping once...

Ayumi's stomach fell at his answer. Was she the one who was wrong here? Maybe the school was just messing with her... She sort of hoped that was the case. All those deaths... She used the sleeve of her uniform to wipe away the tears that had fallen."N... never mind," she mumbled. She had to be wrong, even if the memories had felt so realistic. "We should keep looking for that tongue..." she added, trying to play off the comments she had made before.

Yoshiki blinked, still lost, but... he guessed he shouldn't push her. His hand grasped her arm to gently lead her up with him, though he couldn't shake the concern. "Are you... sure?" he asked, hoping to get more of an explanation from her. If she evaded the conversation, he'd just leave her alone... but her headaches triggered when he acted so strange, and that's what started this... Was it just a coincidence, or...?

Ayumi accepted his help to get back on her feet. She still felt off center, but she figured she'd just push past it. Once they got out of here... Surely she'll find out what was going on in her head. Since... those memories can't be true if Yoshiki didn't share them. After all, he was in a lot of them. "I'm sure... I just want to get home," she said, eyes narrowed and averted at the ground. She was sick of these blood-soaked walls and broken floors. She wanted this all to end already.

Yoshiki nodded lightly, letting go of her sleeve and moving to keep on through the halls. The doll wasn't responding, and now this weird thing about escaping Heavenly Host and his strange actions were on his mind... He sighed, his mind cluttered, but he just tried to push it all aside. If Ayumi could keep moving, he could too.

* * *

As they kept moving, Yoshiki was beginning to lose hope as the doll didn't react. Ugh, how long could they go on with no results? As he thought, without warning, another moment came when the same expression as before appeared. Instead of just stopping, his hand grasped onto Ayumi's tightly, as if reassuring her that he was there. He remained solemnly quiet for a moment before speaking once more."Shinozaki... I love you... so much," he spoke fondly, his tone now gaining some level of maturity, at least more than the current Yoshiki normally spoke with. His eyes were centered more downward, towards the floor. "That used to be so hard to get out... but recently, I've said it a lot... I'd do anything to get you back... To save you from whatever's trapped you... but I'm starting to doubt that I can even help this time," he mentioned sorrowfully, his forced smile slowly slipping away into a more blank look.

Ayumi was beginning to wonder if there even was a third tongue. She felt like they had traversed every part of the school available to them. She was having a hard time focusing on their surroundings when her thoughts kept getting pulled back to memories she couldn't determine were true or not. Something in her gut told her, yes, they were true. You brought them all to this hellhole. Ayumi's thoughts were disrupted by Yoshiki's hand grabbing her's. She froze, looking at him with a fast-paced heart. He was switching again, she realized. Because whenever he did, he seemed to become more affectionate. Even with that knowledge, she was hit with disbelief at the sudden confession. Her heart seized and cheeks reddened at the information she began to digest. She stared at him, unsure if this was even Yoshiki. His expression and voice reflected someone with more maturity. What he continued to say was hard to keep up with as she tried to realize that Yoshiki loves her. If that is him speaking... she really wasn't sure. And now... save her from what? From what's trapped her? But, they were both trapped in Heavenly Host. As his expression slipped into a blank stare, she realized she only had a moment until Yoshiki came back. Her hand stayed gripping his, the warmth was a small comfort as her mind reeled. She couldn't stand all these questions! She needed answers...


	5. Chapter 5

Yoshiki's eyes regained shine and came back to focus. The first thing he noticed was their intertwined hands, and with a small blush he quickly let go. "Ah, sorry!" he apologized quickly, and cursed mentally. Ugh, he hated these flashes of loss of control...

There was really only one way Ayumi could figure out if Yoshiki and his switches were the same person. And if they were... what did that mean? It was when his switches happened that her memories began to come back, so... Perhaps that's her Yoshiki talking about their ages and his love. Maybe... this wasn't real. She looked at Yoshiki with a hardened gaze and ignored the apology. As potentially awkward and uncomfortable this was, she didn't think finding anymore tongues would help her. She needed to unravel this from the clues she's getting. "Kishinuma...," she began to say, feeling her heart picking up. "Do you love me?"

Yoshiki paused as he noticed the look she was giving him. It wasn't really anger or anything of the sort, but it made him have a certain dread in his stomach. What had he said this time?... He became even more attentive at his name, waiting anxiously to hear what she had to say. But once it was said, he could hardly think straight. His face deepened in color, and his eyes widened slightly to stare at her with shocked embarrassment. H-he had said that?! All these losses of control had been affectionate, and Ayumi wouldn't have asked if it hadn't sounded personal. Exactly... what was going on? "H-ha... Where'd... that come from?" he asked with a forced smile, but he knew his facade was quickly crumbling away at its foundations. Soon, it'd all come tearing down, so why try, only for this to last longer? His smile disappeared as his eyes moved to the side to avoid her. He wasn't ready to reveal something like this... it was too sudden! But... now, it was useless to hide. "... Y... yeah..."

Ayumi watched as Yoshiki seemingly gave up any effort to lie or hide from the question. She wasn't so sure how she felt about it... From her memories... After her parents and Hinoe died, Yoshiki was there for her a lot. It had been weird to think he loved her, so it seemed she always pushed such thoughts away. Although, perhaps the idea of him loving her wasn't important now, even if she didn't want to completely ignore it. She didn't know how to respond to someone loving her... After all, those around her have a knack for dying. '_If that's true... than his switches are true too. But, I don't understand how any of this can be happening. Am I dreaming? No, I would've woken up at some point..._' She looked down, flexing her fingers as if she was unsure if they were really there. "I don't... understand. You're you when you shift but you're not. When you're different, you talk as if five years have past. And... I have memories after Heavenly Host. I remember going through here already. We got the three tongues... Then Yuki shows me her memory of the real killer and we came back for Mochida, Yuka, and Nakashima. We appeased Sachiko and managed to get home... but Suzumoto, Morishige, Ms. Yui, and Shinohara all died. They died because of that charm I made us do..." she was rambling as she tried to fill in Yoshiki on all the details she kept to herself. She needed to talk to him because they needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

Yoshiki turned his head back once she began talking, a mix of relief and disappointment that she hadn't really answered the confession. Relieved that he hadn't been rejected, but he had always imagined some response. It was weird not to get any... but he guessed the problem at hand was more important... He listened closely, his expression conveying his confusion at all this. But as she finished, alarm bells went off in his head. His look grew more irritated. "Hey, it's not your fault. Even if it's the charm's fault... you didn't know. It was an accident, you can't be responsible," he told her, feeling that was the truth. It would only be her fault if she knew about the threat... He could tell by how happy she looked when doing something to comfort Mayu that she had been completely clueless. It just seemed like a fun charm to 'keep the group together'. To blame herself over something like this... The only thing it accomplished was hurting her. "Don't think like that. It's not your fault at all, and I doubt anyone else blames you either," he further urged. He was getting a little off topic... but he had to get rid of her guilt. After all, it was completely misplaced.

Ayumi was caught off guard as he addressed only the last comment. She frowned, looking away from him as he tried to convince her it wasn't her fault. "You can't speak for the dead, Kishinuma..." Ayumi said quietly, shaking her head. The four of them were going to suffer until the end of eternity because of her mistake. "And it is my fault! It doesn't matter my intent. It was my actions that led to all of this. I didn't deserve to get out," she said harshly, eyes narrowing at the ground. She could remember now. That bitter thought that continued to travel through her head in the years after Heavenly Host. She didn't deserve to live through all of that. She should have died and had to spent and eternity in Heavenly Host just as they did. "I still don't... Maybe that's why I'm back. This is my punishment," she realized as she spoke.

Yoshiki's eyes narrowed at her. Yeah, he couldn't... But he knew their friends. They wouldn't have blamed her! "But it does matter! You thought it was harmless. If you had even the faintest clue that it was dangerous, you wouldn't have done it. You can't damn yourself for this... They're our friends, they'd be happy that you made it out. If this is some sort of curse... then they'd be ashamed of you for spending your life here instead of living fully, punishing yourself when you don't actually deserve it," he pointed out, even though he was still a little lost on what exactly this was. If Ayumi was stuck in some sort of self punishment or whatever, like she believed, why was he here? And saying all those weird things... He was definitely still seventeen, but... if he had confessed through that older him, and made it personal... What did that mean? He would guess that he was stuck with her, because he wouldn't want her to be alone, but then why would a different him say stuff too?...So... that couldn't be it... He was starting to feel a bit fearful, constantly asking himself exactly what he was... He... didn't know anymore...

"They're going to suffer forever. Reliving their deaths... Getting smashes against a wall, throwing themself out a window, being hanged, and being swallowed by a collapsing floor... They're never going to escape that. At this point, they'd want me dead," Ayumi said as she looked at her the floor. "If they never met me, they would've been able to live out their lives." She regretted ever printing out that damn charm. She hated Naho for posting the wrong instructions online and the principal for sending Heavenly Host into the hell it is in. Even with the ability to pass off blame to them, or just abstain from it in ignorance, she couldn't. "It's not like that even matters, now, though... They're all dead and I'm stuck here. Who knows how long we've actually been in these hallways. If your switched self was telling the truth, then I've been gone for three years from the life I remember," she sighed, hand clenching into a fist. It still didn't make sense that they were really five years older when they looked seventeen and still had their Kisaragi uniforms.

Yoshiki stared at her, not accepting her hypocritical counterpoint. "I thought you said we can't speak for the dead," he told her sharply, still not believing all of them would turn on her. Ms. Yui loved all of them... He knew for sure she wouldn't want Ayumi dragging herself down with this. Mayu wouldn't either... There wan't a hating bone in her body, he'd say. Seiko wouldn't either... She was weird, but he knew she cared for her friends too. She'd never wish this upon any of them. Sakutaro... well, he honestly wasn't sure about him, but that was probably because he didn't know him hardly enough. He came back into focus to listen to Ayumi at what she said next. Three years... but they had only been in here a few hours... At the 'switched self', his expression twisted into a more fearful one, his eyes adverting to the side. "About that... too... If I switch instead of remembering all this, does that mean-... Am I maybe... fake?" he asked her with a certain hollowness to his tone. It was the only idea that came to mind... and it was scary as hell. The possibility that all of these thoughts, feelings, and memories... were fake was terrifying.

Ayumi's shot Yoshiki a glare as he turned her own comment on her. No person could go through death time and time again, and not resent the one who put them in that place. The only way they wouldn't hate her is if they never learned the charm was the catalyst in getting them there. Her angry expression changed to more neutral as she listened to Yoshiki's concern. She paused, unsure how to respond since she didn't know what was actually happening. "You can't be," she said, though uncertainty was still laced in her expression. "I mean... I could feel your hand. And you've been separate from him most this time..." she said, trying to find a way to explain his existence. He had to be real. But... that other self had to be real too, if her other memories were true.

Yoshiki chose to ignore the glare she had given him, currently deciding upon being selfish for a little bit. Well, that, and they really did need to figure out the situation, so they... or... just Ayumi could get out... He wasn't too comforted with her evidence to him being real. There just can't be two of him... "Yeah, but... If I was the real one, then shouldn't I remember too? And if the other one is talking through me... about the present, where we're five years older, then... I can't be real... But I don't feel fake...and I don't want to be fake," he said with his tone conveying a kind of fear, eyes still looking towards the ground.

"You're not fake," Ayumi said sternly, looking at him with a furrowed brow. Even if he didn't have the memories that she had... he was still him. "I mean... what does fake even mean? You're here now, thinking... By that logic alone you exist, and since you exist... you can't be fake," Ayumi said, realizing she was talking in circle. It was just... Yoshiki was scared. She could tell, by the way he spoke. He wasn't even trying to hide it. She wanted to alleviate his worries somehow... but it was hard when neither had an idea of what was happening. She frowned as she remembered the other Yoshiki's words... 'I'd do anything to get you back... To save you from whatever's trapped you...' She still didn't know what he meant by 'trapped.' Was this a curse? Did she try black magic...?

Yoshiki was still troubled. He couldn't argue that since he could think and feel, he should be real, but... he was still uncertain. "The other me can't be fake either though, because that's the one you remember... and there can't be two of me," he mentioned with concern, hesitantly bringing his eyes back to her. Though... he probably shouldn't be focusing too much on himself... This was more Ayumi's ordeal, he guessed. If her memories were true, then she was stuck somewhere she shouldn't be, and he should help get her back to where she belonged... no matter what would happen to him in the process. "I guess... it doesn't matter too much... We should just... focus on figuring out why you're stuck here," he said, dismissing his worries in favor of her dilemma.

Ayumi looked at Yoshiki, unsure what to say. If she got out of Heavenly Host and back to whatever Yoshiki was talking to her... then would he disappear? It mattered... if this was an affect of closed spaces or if this was isolated to herself... Was it just her mind creating all of this? It was too much to be a dream. She dug her nails into the palm of her hand. The pain felt real. She frowned lightly as Yoshiki pushed his own dilemma off. It felt wrong to just let his worries fester, but she couldn't speak with authority about anything happening. The sooner she figured out her own situation, the sooner she could help him as well. "I don't know why I would end up back here. We graduated... This doesn't make sense. If this was really me, I wouldn't be in my Kisaragi uniform," she muttered, shaking her head. She kept mulling over it in her head... This had to be supernatural, right? People don't just... disappear into themselves... right?

Yoshiki tried to think of what may be happening. She had graduated, and if they were five years older where the other Yoshiki was, but she only didn't remember three... Actually, thinking about the other him again... "The other me talks to you like you still physically exist wherever he is though... He can't be talking to nothing... Then... this is in your imagination?" he tried to theorize, but figuring this out more only made him feel more nonexistent... He quickly tried to shake off the thought, focusing on expending on his other idea. If this was in her head... why would she intentionally put herself into Heavenly Host? Wait... 'I didn't deserve to get out...' 'Maybe that's why I'm back. This is my punishment.' Ayumi may have figured it out already, without even noticing... "You said... you thought you didn't deserve to get out, right?... Then maybe you're stuck here, because you think you deserve it... Your psyche is trapping you in Heavenly Host because you feel like you have to punish yourself... The other me said something about your guilt too, didn't he? He must be on the same track then..," he further theorized, feeling pretty confident. But, she still feels that way, and he couldn't seem to talk her out of her foolish guilt... He felt a bit fearful at saying all this, because it struck him that she did still think she deserved this. Maybe... because she thinks she has to stay in Heavenly Host too, she won't even try to get out, but... that didn't seem right of her. She didn't deserve this... She was wasting her life here...

Ayumi stared at Yoshiki as he began to talk out what may be occurring. She had to agree that it seemed the other Yoshiki was talking to her, so she obviously had to be where he was in some form. Also, that would explain the contact made with the shifts. Then, as Yoshiki pointed out... this was most likely her mind. A very vivid dream that has been going on for years... She looked at him as he spoke again, nodding in agreement that she did indeed say that. She bit her cheek as he theorized. Her stomach dropped as she tried to find a hole in that theory, but it made sense as far as she could see. "So, I'm here on my own will," she mumbled with a furrowed brow. Would that mean getting out was as simple as tossing aside her guilt? 'Heavenly Host was not my fault...' she thought loudly in her head, as if it would wipe all of this. 'But it is...' the voice in her head interjected with blaring volume. "I can't just... ignore my role in all of this, though. If it is my guilt... then maybe it's fitting to serve my days here..."

Yoshiki's brows furrowed in frustration. He didn't want her to stay here in this school forever! Even if it meant for her to leave him, she'd be somewhere better. Somewhere she was supposed to be. "Your guilt isn't right, Shinozaki! Even if they would blame you now... their minds wouldn't be right in the slightest. No friend would ever wish this on another, no matter what! You shouldn't be either, because it's not your fault. You just wanted us to be friends, even after we went different ways... That's no reason to be damned, when you still have your whole life ahead of you... And what about everyone else? You left Satoshi, Nakashima, and me to deal with your absence... I know from my own feelings that I wouldn't handle it well... When I switch, I can imagine how depressed I sound...," he mentioned, reflecting on the other him. Without her, he'd truly be lost... and he'd always wish for her back... So he doubted the other him was any different.

Ayumi flinched as he went off, trying to convince her to stop feeling guilty. She could understand what he was saying, but it was ultimately her hand that put them here! Her eyes widened as he went on about the remaining group and how she left them to deal with her. It wasn't like she fell into this on purpose! But now... they were suffering. Her eyes were now downcast as she recalled how depressed Yoshiki was when he switched. The sad smile as he talked to her, even if she couldn't respond. The fact that he loved her and was waiting around for her to awake. She couldn't pay for her sins without hurting the others. It wasn't like she could snap out of this on a whim. A whimper escaped her which quickly shifted to an actual sob. "I... I don't know what I can do! I e-escaped here because of m-my guilt, but now I-I'm just hurting everyone else. I-I can't-," she cried as she frantically wiped her sleeves over her wet eyes. "E-everything I do... anywhere I-I am... I just h-hurt people!" she cried, trembling. This mental withdrawal she fell into... even it wasn't good enough to shield others from her.

Yoshiki frowned slightly as her first response was a sob. He wasn't sure what to do about this... She was just blaming herself for everything... He didn't get why she was so insistent on putting it all on her shoulders, even though it didn't belong there... He sighed, shaking his head lightly. He wasn't good at this... Hesitantly, he took her hand, giving a hard stare at her eyes. "No, it's not your fault! None of this is! I'm only trying to say that... now that we know why you're here, you can't just give up and let this prison keep holding you. You rightly won a life outside of this school. It's no more your fault for us being here than it is ours for even doing the charm. We participated, and we all had just as much knowledge on the whole thing as you did... But you fought your way out, which should be enough evidence that you don't deserve to be here. You deserve the life you won, the life that the others probably helped you win because they wanted you to survive," he tried to explain more clearly, since his last attempt had probably made things worse. He was just... bad at using his words correctly...

Ayumi jumped lightly as Yoshiki took her hand, She looked up at him through hazy eyes. Tears kept streaming as emotions whirled inside of her. Her hand grasped Yoshiki's back tightly as she tried to believe his words. It was difficult knowing that she survived and the others didn't. She couldn't stop tracing back the deaths to her. Would they really want her to go on? Not rot in hell, like they have been cursed to? She couldn't speak for them, or to them at this point. Knowing them as she did, of course they wouldn't want her to join them in their fate. Ms. Yui even sacrificed herself for her... telling her to be strong. This wasn't very strong of her, though, was it? Sending herself into this punishment for three years. "I don't know what to do..." she said through a sniffle. "I... want to believe that... but... the feelings just won't go away,"she said miserably. Maybe... she didn't deserve it. She knew Yoshiki, Satoshi, and Naomi didn't deserve to lose another friend. She didn't know how to break out of this world... or rather, she knew how to... She just didn't know how to shake the heavy feelings of guilt that plagued her since getting out. Even with acknowledgment of the logical reasons... it just wasn't triggering an escape.

Yoshiki looked away thoughtfully, his own grasp on her hand tightening in response. What was he supposed to do? He knew he couldn't talk away her guilt... He could only get her started on thinking correctly. But what else could be done? It seemed they were all lost on the next step to getting her home... and somehow, he knew they didn't have forever. "We'll... keep thinking on a way out of this... but we still have a little more to figure out first. Like... you said three years have gone by that you don't remember, but... there's no way we've been here for three years. It's been two hours at most...," he started, feeling they should get a good grasp at the basics before diving in to solutions.

Ayumi was grateful he didn't keep trying to drill the idea that everything wasn't her fault into her head, since it didn't feel like it was working, and it was stressing her out that she could understand what he was saying but not grasp it. She paused thoughtfully, blinking away the tears that were finally stopping from their continuous stream. She hadn't considered that. There were so many questions, but so little ways of figuring out the answers. The only link they had to what would be considered the 'real' world was Yoshiki's switches, and those were uncontrollable. Plus, they only gave so many details. She doubted the other Yoshiki even knew what was going on in her head. "It doesn't feel like nothing happened since I fell asleep... but I'm not sure what could have been going on those three years. Maybe it's just been like one long dream..." she frowned. She couldn't recall anything before waking up with Yoshiki and Ms. Yui...

Yoshiki tried to fit in her explanation, but it just didn't seem right... Time may not be too true to what was passing in real life, but this couldn't have been two years."Well... we know this is a dream, and dreams warp time... but it still feels like it can't have possibly been three years from this experience...," he muttered, only confusing himself further. Ugh, what did this all mean?! Or, more importantly, would they even really know the answer?

Ayumi rubbed her forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think. This wasn't operating completely as a dream, was it? But it had to be if it was happening in her head. "Maybe I'm stuck in a groundhogs day loop? Either that, or I've had dreams and such before this... but I forget each time a new one starts up..." she wondered aloud. It was pretty impossible to confirm such a thing, though... Still, she couldn't chalk up a different explanation.

Yoshiki considered the new idea. Replaying Heavenly Host, without remembering... That'd succeed in keeping her here. "Since your mind has stuck you in here... maybe starting over is what's happening... You know, because otherwise you may get out of here on your own... Restarting everything would assure that you were stuck forever," he said with concern. There was no way to prove it, but it was the best idea they had. But if it was true... that would make him even more fake, wouldn't it? Each time this world restarted, there'd just be another him. It only mattered this time... maybe because the other Yoshiki kept intercepting. "If that's true... then we have to get you out before it restarts again... or else you'll forget, and you may not get another chance to try and escape..," he mentioned, a new fear settling in his stomach. That meant they may be on a timer... Ugh, he hated being timed... Especially when Ayumi's life was on the line.

Ayumi paused as Yoshiki pieced together that they were on a timer. What happened this time around... who knew what caused it to occur. They couldn't guarantee it would happen again. She wanted to go home... But... they couldn't. Her eyes narrowed at the ground, as she thought of ways to work through her guilt. "Do you think... maybe... we should go back to where they all died?" she asked, feeling herself hesitant on the idea. They could passively talk about it all day long, but ultimately she had to take some action if she wanted out. Even if they weren't really the ghosts... perhaps they would be operating as their own person in the same way Yoshiki seemed to be exactly as he was.

Yoshiki paused to think over the idea. It may help... But... "That may be our best option... but... what if the spirits were made from your mind? They'd only repeat what you keep thinking," he pointed out with concern. Yeah, he had his own thoughts, and he felt independent... But if they were right, he was still ultimately a figment of her imagination. What if Ms. Yui and the others only repeated what her mind kept telling her to be true? Well... he guessed the only way to finding that out is doing as Ayumi suggested, and visiting them...

"Well... that's really our only option now..." Ayumi said, becoming re-aware that she was holding onto Yoshiki's hand. She considered releasing it for a moment, but ultimately couldn't bring herself to sever herself from him. "I don't know what will happen when we find them. It may be enough to change my mind... or I may just end up worse off. It's a gamble, but it's better than standing around," she concluded, looking aside. Her stomach twisted horribly in anxiety, fear of what the ghosts may say terrified her. She could end up just deeper in the pit of guilt she's dug for herself.

Yoshiki had to agree on that point. They wouldn't accomplish anything just standing around... It was really all they could do. He sighed lightly, looking away a moment before finally responding. "Alright... We'll go when you're ready," he said. If they were going to wherever they died, she may need some time to prepare herself... She could begin leading when she was okay to go on, since he certainly didn't know where they had all died. It was kind of weird... In his head, they were all still fine, so it was hard to react correctly to being told that they had died... He just couldn't see it, but he was certain that it was much different for Ayumi. It must have been hard...

"Well, there's no time to waste..." Ayumi replied as she glanced down the hallway. She was certainly dreading this..., but she really wanted to get home. To spend the rest of her life trapped inside a groundhog's day of Heavenly Host was terrifying. Even if some part of her told her she deserved it, she certainly didn't want it. After a thoughtful pause, she moved to head in the direction of the infirmary, leading Yoshiki through their held hands. Mayu was the first one they lost... Then she'd go to the second floor bathroom for Seiko... then the window for Sakutaro, and then end it with Ms. Yui in the room with the collapsing floor.

Yoshiki nodded quietly, guessing she wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. Some part of him was terrified of that moment though... If this was a dream, and she got out, it'd all disappear, wouldn't it? Including him... He'd stop existing... If he was part of her imagination, why the hell did he have these thoughts and feelings?! It made him think such selfish things... but he'd never succumb to them. Getting Ayumi out was his top priority! Besides... if it does repeat, as they assumed, he'd basically be erased anyways. There would still be a Yoshiki... but it wouldn't be him, exactly, would it? So either way, he wasn't meant to be, and would ultimately disappear... The better way to go was to help Ayumi get back to the life she belonged in. As she lead him, and those thoughts subsided a little, he took notice of their hands. His heart jumped lightly, having forgotten about them. He blushed lightly, consumed by the knowledge that she hadn't let go.


	6. Chapter 6

Ayumi felt dread become heavier and heavier as they got closer to the wall that Mayu was thrown against so hard her body was smashed. She had no idea what the ghost would be like... or if it would even come. 'Please, just give me someway to escape all of this,' she mentally pleaded to herself... or perhaps more to the four friends that had died. She wasn't sure what needed to happen for her to escape these feelings that kept her chained, but this was her best hope. The wall came in sight, and her stomach churned. Against the wall it was hard to tell it was a human that had been collided against it. "Suzumoto..." Ayumi said quietly, feeling tears burn the back of her eyes.

Yoshiki quietly let her hand guide him, his eyes coming to the wall. Last time they had come by, it was just a normal hall way, but now with Ayumi's memory shifting, the scene had morphed. It seemed wrong, and made him sick looking at the smashed body, but this was apparently reality. What had actually taken place in Heavenly Host... His eyes came to the back of Ayumi as she spoke Mayu's name, static heard in his head as it finally became verbally confirmed that this... pile of gore had once been their friend. His eyes strayed away, his hand's grasp tightening slightly. He'd like to still be there for Ayumi... but he felt a bit overwhelmed with this whole thing. Nothing he could say would help, since these were not in his own memories. He'd remain silent... unless he was actually needed.

It hurt... so much... Her skin ripping against the rotting wood floor... Her head, neck, everything... just shattering under the pressure of the impact... It's all that ran through her mind... Her body was confused, and wracked with spasms caused by pain and bewilderment that she even had a body to speak of. It constantly felt like everything was leaking out of her.

But through the agony, pierced a familiar voice. She fought through her pain and momentary slip into insanity to come up with who it belonged to. She clawed her way through the darkness, suddenly coming from the roof, her body still shaking as her head drooped down. Her eyes were wide, though none of her other features could be differentiated from the blood coating every inch of her. The arm that had been scraped along the ground was half gone, the bone showing through twisted and mangled flesh. The top of her head was partially caved in, that being the last injury before she had ultimately become just a mound of remains. Though she had a gruesome appearance, she didn't appear violent. "Ayu... -chan?" her smile voice piped up, a tone that would normally lead to tears appearing, "Why... are you still... here?"

Ayumi felt shame burn through her veins as Mayu appeared as beaten, torn apart version of herself. She had the instinct to run. Turn heel and disappear down the hallways of the school because in that moment this seemed too difficult. Her urge to run subsided at Mayu's voice and the notice that she wasn't violent. She even used her nickname for her... Ayumi swallowed thickly, eyes glued onto her deformed friend. "I... can't leave," she said in a small explanation. She knew that wouldn't be good enough though. "Because you're death... along with the others... it's all my fault. That charm... it brought us here," she explained through a shaky voice.

Mayu stared, wide-eyed at Ayumi. It became assumable that her expression was frozen as such. Her body dropped down, turning right-side-up, but her head barely moved. She stayed quiet for a moment, considering her friend's words through the pain. "But all you did... was make us friends forever...," she commented solemnly, her head tilting slightly. Though it was done wrong... as long as they kept the scraps, she considered them all tied together forever. After all, that's all Ayumi had done.

Ayumi was finding it hard to keep her thoughts straight. Mayu's appearance and obvious pain made her feel even worse. Mayu shouldn't be like this... She should be alive, living out her dreams and spreading her joy. "But... I didn't. If anything... that charm did the opposite. It took you away," Ayumi said with a small quiver in her voice. She couldn't cry. It would just feel selfish given what Mayu was going through at that moment.

Mayu's face didn't change in response, but she could still tell Ayumi was stuck in the pain of guilt. It was understandable... but she didn't want her friend pulling herself down because of something she wasn't responsible for. "But it's not your fault," she insisted, then her eyes made a small movement, narrowing only slightly, "And... even though you got out... why'd you let it take you away too?"

Ayumi was having a hard time believing Mayu was actually not angry at her. With the pain she was going through... the way her ghost looked... how could she not be violent? Well, if any person was able to go through so much pain and still be kind, it would be Mayu. She paused, brow furrowing in confusion at her words. Was she talking about letting Heavenly Host take her back? "I... don't understand. What do you mean?" she asked calmly with uncertainty.

Mayu frowned lightly, her brows furrowing in response. Why did Ayumi feel like it was her job to shoulder everything that happened? She wished she could just live happily..."You're supposed... to be with our friends... but you let this school swallow you again...," she clarified sadly, giving a glancing look at Yoshiki, who was still looking away.

"It was hard... being with them," Ayumi began to try and explain. She could remember, with some clarity, her final days before falling into this. She had been so depressed and angry. She blamed herself for the horrors they went through, which only ended becoming worse as she thought more and more about it. It had become hard to face any of her friends... She had been selfish. She hadn't cared how they felt... She was so wrapped up in herself. "All the horrible things we went through... all the horrors you're still going through. I... wanted to be punished..." she said, glancing aside with a narrowed gaze. Survivor's guilt was probably apart of what she was going through... along with the knowledge that the damn charm had sent them there.

Mayu grew thoughtfully quiet again. She still didn't quite get it... "But you... got sent here too... You were punished... already... The only difference... is that you earned... your way out," she got out slowly, her hand fidgeting nervously, "With the help... of your friends..."

Ayumi's eyes flickered back to Mayu as she thoughtfully digested her words. "I... I just don't feel right getting out while you and the others are dead," she whispered quietly, voice choked. "I'm just... I'm so sorry Mayu... You deserved so much more... I thought we'd be able to save you, but the ghosts just got angry at the offering and... I just... I'm sorry..." she said, because that was all she felt she could do.

Mayu frowned more, to the point the change could actually be noticed. She wanted to help Ayumi out... "I can't accept your apology...," she said with a soft frown, but it slowly changed into a small smile, "-Because you don't owe me one... You're out because... of your own strength... and because of friends who wanted you to keep living... You shouldn't have anything... to feel guilty over... You were sent to Heavenly Host too... and made it out... So why exactly... are you wasting time here... instead of in the life you belong in?"

Ayumi's expression changed thoughtfully, as she mulled over the point. Was it really okay for her to accept her escape as a victory? It had always felt so empty that they hadn't been able to save anyone, but maybe she was just doing those who passed a disservice by carrying on like this. She tried to find a good answer for Mayu. "I... I don't know," Ayumi admitted with a frown. Maybe she was just scared of the real world... but at the same time she had such a desire to go back. To traverse these halls for the rest of her days... she didn't want that.

Mayu wasn't sure how to progress... She had said all she could. Her ghostly form began slowly fading, her face reflecting her sorrow. "Then I... can't do anything else...," she admitted pitifully, before she disappeared completely from sight.

Ayumi's eyes widened as Mayu disappeared, and her heart seized painfully. She certainly couldn't say she felt any better... but this was only the first ghost. She stood still for a moment, before realizing they had to keep moving. She didn't know what to say to Yoshiki, and she couldn't stand being near Mayu's corpse, so she turned away from the body. The second floor girl's bathroom is where she'd go next... She was honestly less afraid of seeing Seiko than she had been of Mayu, though that was probably because Seiko's corpse wouldn't be as difficult to look at.

Yoshiki didn't know what to say, but he doubted there was anything that could be said. He quickly followed her, tightening his grip on her hand, as it was his only way of support. He was unsure what to expect from the other ghosts... but he doubted they'd be as bad as Mayu, so he may be able to be more of a support to her in the future.

Getting to the bathroom wasn't difficult and didn't take long, but once faced with the stall door, Ayumi felt herself hesitating. 'It's fine... Shinohara couldn't be an angry spirit if she wanted to be,' Ayumi told herself. She could remember the loud girl's constant smile and unwavering cheer. She reached out, nudging the stall door open. A tenseness pressed against her chest at the corpse.

"Nn! Shinozaki! Kishinuma! What're you two doin' here?" Seiko asked, voice smaller and strained but still bubbling. Ayumi jumped back a bit, not expecting her to appear so closely. Seiko would never understand boundaries, would she? Her appearance was much less horrific than Mayu's. The only evidence of her death was a deep bruised circle around her neck, where the rope had strangled her.

"We're... I'm..." Ayumi began stumbling, unsure how to explain the predicament. "I'm sort of trapped," she finally settled on.

"Trapped? Why?" Seiko questioned with a narrowed gaze, arms crossing over her chest.

"Because..." Ayumi began to say, but her voice just trailed off. She didn't expect to get the same question Mayu had posed her. Her guilt? Her inability to deal with the tragedies life kept handing her?

"Well, that's no good. You shouldn't waste time here if you don't have to," Seiko noted thoughtfully, tilting her head as she peered at the twin-tailed girl with large eyes. "You don't actually want to be here, right?"

"Of course not!" Ayumi said in a quick knee-jerk reaction. "I'm sick of this school! I want to go home!" She didn't want to keep going through these halls, surrounding with death. She didn't want to be on a constant journey to get out, when she was already free.

"Then what's keeping you here?" Seiko asked in a sharper tone.

"I... I don't know. I don't feel like..." Ayumi began to say, but stopped as she was beginning to feel like a broken record.

"Don't tell me you don't believe you're deserving of getting out," Seiko said with a deep frown. Her brow was furrowed, and her brown eyes had a gentle sadness to them.

"The charm... that's what brought us here. That's why you died!" Ayumi explained, feeling it to be the center of her guilt. "You would still be alive if Heavenly Host never happened," she muttered, shaking her head sadly.

Yoshiki tensed as the door opened, but he was very surprised when they were met with the same bubbliness the girl had possessed before passing. If it weren't for the bruise, you couldn't tell she was dead, and you certainly wouldn't think she was suffering. At the question she posed, his heart sunk slightly. What was he doing here, anyways? It troubled him to no end... Why would he be like an actual person, instead of just reacting to what Ayumi did? At least the others were ghosts, so there was some reason to they're own personalities. Who knew the limits of the paranormal... But the real him was still alive, and seemingly unaware of Ayumi's actual situation. So his existence made no sense...

He glanced to Ayumi with a frown, unsure of what would really get her to think differently... But he was also very thankful for the friends they... or, she had... Even through death, they cared very much about the others well being. They had no ill will towards Ayumi... He was certain Ms. Yui would be the same, but he was still apprehensive about going to see Sakutaro. He cared only very deeply for Mayu it seemed, and since she had died here, would he blame Ayumi for her death?...

"Geeze, Shinozaki! You're acting like you had some evil plan to bring us to Heavenly Host. The intention of the ritual was so everyone could be friends forever... You couldn't have begun to imagine a seemingly harmless charm would have such effects," Seiko said thoughtfully, tapping her chin as she mulled over Ayumi's thought process.

"Does it matter if something was passively or actively done?" Ayumi questioned as she looked at the ground. "The end result would be the same."

"Of course intention matters! This isn't something you wanted to happen. Even more so, you suffered through the results as well," Seiko told her without missing a beat.

"Why aren't you angry at me?" Ayumi asked, forcing her eyes to move back to Seiko and her bruised neck. "You could be living your dream as a hair stylist now. You could still be best friends with Naomi... You could be so much more."

"I could be doing all those things, but sometimes things just don't work out. In the end, I'm your friend... I just want you all to be living your dreams happily. To trap yourself in some nightmare because of applying all the guilt to yourself is fruitless. If I can't live, I at least want my friends who are living to have happy lives! Your suffering won't do anything for us," she told her sternly, giving a soft smile as she tried to help Ayumi's point-of-view change. "Plus, I know you all probably need each other! You need to get back to the others who got out. I'm sure they're all lost without you." Some more lost than others, Seiko could easily guess. After all, it had been hard not to notice Yoshiki's longing glances at her in their days of youth.

"Shinohara..." Ayumi choked out, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry..." she said, feeling it necessary... Even if her previous apology to Mayu had been waved off as unnecessary, she had to say it.

"Heh, no hard feelings, Shinozaki," Seiko told her earnestly, shaking her head lightly as if waving the apology off as well. In a blink, the girl's form was gone.

Ayumi stood alarmed as Seiko's figure disappeared. She still didn't feel at peace... her feelings jumping all over the place. Mayu and Seiko seemed to share the same sentiments, it had just been easier for Seiko to get through the pain to talk to her. Seiko was right... her suffering wasn't alleviating their's. If anything, she was disgracing their memories by hiding away in this place. She let out a heavy breath as she used her free hand to wipe away some tears that had spilled. Halfway done... she just hoped this would end as she needed it to.

Yoshiki watched as Seiko disappeared from their sight, a small smile forming on his face. She sure had a way with words... But Ayumi probably needed the opinions of all the ghosts. Though, he was still nervous... Would one negative response ruin the other three's heartfelt opinions? Ugh, he almost wanted them to skip one, but he knew Ayumi wouldn't have any of that. If anything, it'd make her angry with him. He waited in silence, letting Ayumi recover before ushering her to the next place.

Ayumi was very hesitant of moving onto Sakutaro, because she was pretty sure what they were to each other wasn't actually in the classification of 'friends.' In fact, Sakutaro had only been attached to Mayu... While he had never been mean to her, past some sarcastic jibes when he was alive, Ayumi still wasn't certain the reaction would be as warm as the previous ghosts. She had to talk to all of them, though. She shut the bathroom stall before moving to head towards the window he had jumped out of. It was in the other wing, which meant quite a bit of walking. It was odd that the school wasn't doing anything to stop her, but then again, this wasn't really Heavenly Host.

As they traveled up the stairs, close to their destination, Ayumi was beginning to feel sick. It was almost guaranteed that this encounter would be completely different than Mayu's and Seiko's. Just how different she wasn't sure. She was hoping for a composed, level-headed Sakutaro that she was used to... but before he died, the school had twisted his mind so much. The soft draft of rain wind his her face, the first touch of the outside she had felt in a while, since the windows typically were impossible to open. "Morish-?"

Her question was cut off as she felt a hand grasp her neck, cutting her grip on Yoshiki's hand as she was flung to the floor. "You," Sakutaro's voice growled in disdain as his hand held tightly onto her throat, his knees on her arms making it impossible to do anything but let out a choked cry. "How dare you show your face around me!" Sakutaro yelled, his appearance was tattered and crazy, unlike the one they had known. His glasses were cracked, shards of glass embedded themselves into him, and his head had a large gash from where it impacted the window.

Yoshiki grew nervous as they stopped at the staircase, eying the broken window. Now that he had a hint of how he died, he was almost certain this wouldn't be as pleasant as the other two had been. Though, he would have never been prepared for how bad it would actually turn out. He jolted into a more aware state as a form appeared and grabbed at Ayumi's throat, their hands finally separating as she collapsed. The second her warmth disappeared from his hand was the moment he snapped into a rage. "GET OFF HER, YOU BASTARD!" he ordered, moving to ram into Sakutaro. He was unsure what would happen, since he was a ghost, but he still had to try. Surprisingly to him, he actually made contact and was able to shove him off of Ayumi. He swept Ayumi off the floor and into his arms, holding her protectively tight as he glared at Sakutaro. Probably cursing at the guy who didn't like him wouldn't help things, but he couldn't possibly think of the person before him as a friend. His mind was lost because he had lost Mayu, which he guessed he could understand, but he wouldn't sympathize with him, especially if he tried to hurt Ayumi.

Ayumi gasped for air when the hand that was strangling her was torn off her. She hadn't expected him to be violent that quickly! Tears stung her eyes, and she regretted ever coming near him. Sakutaro's mind had been completely destroyed before his death! Of course he would react this way! Her thoughts were interrupted temporarily as she felt herself off the ground and in Yoshiki's arms. For a moment she was confused that he was holding her like he was, but it was probably the safest place for her here. Sakutaro most likely wouldn't try to fight Yoshiki, she hoped.

"Haha...hahaha...haa," Sakutaro cackled as she staggered to his feet, his eyes hidden behind cracked lenses. "You really are pathetic! Protecting the person who sent us to this hellhole! Mayu... Mayu would have never died if not-" he rambled, his voice increasing and decreasing at random intervals.

"Morishige, I'm sorry!" Ayumi cried out, well aware that the apology would probably mean very little, but she couldn't stay quiet when this happened.

"Sorry are you? Do you really think that means anything! Mayu's dead! Splattered... and I..." he pressed his hand against his forehead, another burst or pained laughter escaping him. He had stared at her picture for so long! Mayu's corpse has kept him going through the school... had kept him going in his search for her! "This school! All your fault... that damn charm. You're the one who was always so wrapped up in this paranormal bullshit! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN," he yelled, hands clutched at fists at his side.

Yoshiki narrowed his eyes as he was called pathetic, but it was probably more damaging to Ayumi. He was too warped... They shouldn't have come here! It was only hurting Ayumi's mind, and it wasn't even the real Sakutaro. Though he was a little more antisocial to them, he wouldn't have attacked Ayumi like this... His mind must have been an absolute wreck... Still, he found it necessary to argue with him. His anger wouldn't allow him to be quiet like the other times. "Like hell she'd know! Shinozaki only knew what she could find out. It was supposed to be a harmless charm! If she had any clue it would've had a result like this, she would have never even tried it!" he yelled back, fury coursing through his veins in response to the ghost's own anger, "Making us friends forever... That's all Shinozaki did! And that's all the others hold her responsible for, including Suzumoto."

Ayumi tensed as she watched Sakutaro's face contort in a mix of rage and insanity. He was so angry, and the mention of Mayu seemed to set him off. "Is this what being friends forever entails!? Do you really believe the nonsense you're spewing?! ...Mayu... she may be willing to forgive her for her oversight, but I'm not! Not while Mayu corpse is nothing but a pile of organs, and she gets off scotch free!"he yelled before breaking into another moment of cackling laughter. "So willing to look past her faults... She was stupid. She knew better than anyone what messing with charms and the paranormal would do. She cursed us all, and then got to leave!? If anyone deserved to die in here, it was her!" he screamed over the pounding rain and thunder outside.

Ayumi was trembling as her darkest thoughts and deepest guilts were said by Sakutaro. Hearing it from someone else, from a past friend, it made her heart twist and bleed as if she was being stabbed.

Yoshiki glared harder. He didn't like how Sakutaro was acting as if all this was Ayumi's intent. Intentions did matter... "Charms are supposed to be harmless... She had no clue any of this would happen! To damn her because of something she couldn't predict is low... No one who was actually a friend would blame her! Even more sick is that you want her to die... I wouldn't even call you a person anymore! Shinozaki can't see into the future, and she was sent here too! Everyone else would be happy that she got out... because they're her friends... But you're just some petty psychopath, who has nothing better to do than push blame on someone so you can justify your anger," he accused, his mind going a bit fuzzy from the intensity of his anger. His eyes then narrowed, his heart pounding with fury as he felt Ayumi tremble against him. "Suzumoto... would be ashamed of you."

Ayumi felt awful for making Yoshiki fight this battle for her, but she was grateful he was doing it. He tried to focus on his words, the similar ones to Seiko and Mayu's sentiments. She didn't mean for anyone to get hurt... She would never have tried to do this to her friends! Her intentions were good... At his last words, her eyes widened as she could only guess how hard that would cut into Sakutaro.

Sakutaro stood, eyes narrowed and body tense as Yoshiki just spewed out some more words. Most of it was just giving Ayumi amnesty for her actions, but his attention and thoughts changed quickly at mention of Mayu and how she would feel. "You! You bastard! Don't you dare speak for her!" he said sharply, eyes widened in a crazy, transfixed stare. His already fragile mind snapped. He didn't care that these two had been friends. The only person he cared about was Mayu, and she was dead. It only took a split-second to decide to do what the school didn't and try to kill these two. He ran forward, ready to strike.

Yoshiki had panic strike him instead of fear as Sakutaro reacted explosively. He guessed he should have expected it, but he had let his words take off without thought. Most guys would run, but instead, as a reflex, he shut his eyes tightly and held Ayumi closer to protect her. He waited for impact, a small sweat drop moving down his face and his heart beating fast. Was this it? Would they both die? Would that mean Ayumi would start over, or... would death happen to her in reality too? With these terrifying thoughts, his grasp on her tightened, as if that would save her somehow. However... the blow never came. Hesitantly, one of his eyes opened, though he made no other move. Despite the current situation, he was still tense and anxious, as if skeptical they could make it out of this. Still, maybe...

"Shige-nii... what are you doing... to Ayu-chan?!" Mayu asked miserably, one hand lifted to her slightly narrowed eyes, tears streaming from them. Why... would he try to kill her friend?...

Fear coursed through Ayumi as she waited for the impact to be made. She should have known to have never come here! Her thoughts began to spiral in panic, scared of what dying would feel like. Then she heard Mayu, and she peered over to see that Sakutaro had been stopped by the one person who could help him.

Sakutaro's actions had cut off the moment Mayu had appeared. He stared wide-eyed at her. He was ashamed of himself, for staring at his corpse as he had..., but he was still happy to see her. He blinked slowly at her question, noticing the misery in her tone. "I was... trying to set things right," he said breathlessly.

Mayu frowned deeply, unsure of what he meant exactly. His words didn't match up to his actions... "Set them right how? And what 'things' are you even talking about?" she asked, desperately wanting to believe Sakutaro hadn't been trying what she thought he had been.

Under Mayu's gaze, Sakutaro felt unsure of himself. Though, looking at her battered appearance, he could feel that fire of rage in his stomach. "She doesn't deserve to get off so easily... not when you're..." he began to try to explain. His normal eloquence left him, and he slowly fell into silence as he glanced aside.

Mayu shook her head, finding it hard to believe this was the same Sakutaro she had known. The person she knew wouldn't be so unreasonable... "Why? She braved these halls... and got out... with the help of her friends... Why does she deserve... to be here? She didn't do anything...," she mentioned sadly, trying to wipe the unending tears from her cheeks. The ghost children killed her... They made her like this. So why did Ayumi have to be here?

Sakutaro grimaced at her words. She was too good... too forgiving... "It all started with her charm. I don't care what the idea behind it was... it's what doomed us to this existence," he said, shaking his head lightly. The pain would never end. It didn't seem right, especially for Mayu. "There was so much more for us..." he said quietly, misery in his downcast eyes.

Mayu paused for a moment, staring at him with teary eyes. Then, her hand moved from her cheeks to go into her skirt pocket, pulling out a bloodied paper scrap. "This?... This is all Ayu-chan did... She made us friends forever... and I'm really happy... that no matter what happens, we can be friends!... That's what she did... Did you lose yours?" she asked in a small voice, looking at him sadly.

Sakutaro's still heart clenched painfully at her tears. His eyes flickered from them to the scrap she pulled out. He blinked slowly at it, remembering the moments before they pulled it apart... They had all been so happy. At her words, he couldn't shake his frown as he was doubtful of the idea. At her question, his hand automatically went into the pocket he had put it in. Did it escape during the fall? No, there it was... He pulled out the scrap, the small piece of paper feeling so frail between his fingers. "I still have it..." he told her, his voice more gentle than the crazy ramblings of moments ago.

Mayu smiled lightly as he pulled his out, then turned to the other two. She eyed them for a small moment before speaking. "Kishi? Ayu-chan?" she asked, tilting her head.

At first, Yoshiki wasn't too sure what she was asking for them. But then, the hand holding the paper gestured, and he assumed she was wondering if they still had there's. Yoshiki paused, searching his pockets until finally finding the small piece of paper. He held it in his head, nodding silently.

Ayumi jumped lightly as Mayu spoke to them, as she was absorbed to listening to the conversation. It was amazing how Mayu was able to bring Sakutaro to, what seemed to be, more like his previous self. At the question she searched for slip, unsure if she still had it. She checked her school id, finding the slip behind her school card. She slipped it out gently, holding it out. She let out a shaky sigh as she saw the four pieces held out together. It made half of the doll...

Sakutaro's eyes narrowed slightly as he stared at the paper. It had been... something for Mayu... something for the entire group. The sentiment to stay as friends forever, despite the distance Mayu was going to move... along with the distance they'd all have once high school ended.

Mayu's smile increased ever so slightly at the sight of the two pieces, assuring that all four of them still kept hold of the charm. She turned back to Sakutaro, holding the paper close to her chest. "We're all... still friends... So... why do you want to hurt a friend?" she asked him lightly, her brows furrowing. She paused a moment, before deciding to speak further. "... Kishi and Ayu-chan tried to save me... because they're my friends... and I'm so happy... they'd go through such lengths to help me... The only reason... I can come up with... is that you weren't the Shige-nii I remember...," she paused again, her soft smile coming back as more tears sprung from her eyes, "Are you... okay now? Is our friend, the real Shige-nii, back?"

Sakutaro's eyes moved to watch Mayu as she spoke, and his hand fell back to his side. His fingers clutched the paper scrap firmly. Her question made him pause thoughtfully. He hadn't been himself since he got into the school. The obsession over the pictures of corpses... the harassment of Yuka for the thrill... it hadn't been him. The school had twisted him into someone he despised. Someone who was willing to kill friends. A soft smile slowly came onto his face as his head moved in a small nod. "I'm back..." he said, a relief hitting him. The pain was still there, but with Mayu nearby... it helped. He looked back to Ayumi, brow furrowing as he remembered his harsh words. "I'm sorry, Shinozaki. What I said was uncalled for. The blame doesn't fall on you," he told her earnestly.

Ayumi felt close to tears, but they were more from a feeling of closure that she felt to be reaching. She almost turned the apology around, to try and say sorry to him once again, but realized it was unnecessary. "Thank you, Morishige," she simply replied with a grateful smile.

Mayu's natural sweet smile returned, the pain somewhat being dulled now that she was reconnected with the Sakutaro she remembered. She skipped over closer, turning and hooking arms with him. She nodded at Sakutaro's words, smiling brightly with Ayumi's thanks. "Never forget! All of us will always be friends!" she told Ayumi in a much less strained voice. She clutched the paper scrap close to her chest, beaming at her before slowly fading.

Ayumi watched through the tears welled in her eyes as the two fade with each other. 'Always be friends... huh...' she thought with more optimism than she had felt in... a very long time. She had had her doubt about this working, but perhaps they really had figured out the way for her to get home. "This means only Ms. Yui is left," she noted quietly, scared and excited that she may be able to go home. That after all these years of self-destruction, she will begin building her life again.


	7. Chapter 7

Yoshiki watched the two disappear, quiet as he thought over what had just happened. It was all okay... Mayu had brought back the normal Sakutaro, and they had gotten his confirmation that it wasn't her fault. Plus, Mayu's friend talk probably helped... He smiled softly, glad they were so close. And Ms. Yui... She wasn't anything he was worried about. He stood, stuffing the paper scrap back into his pocket securely. When he took his hand out, though, he swore he saw his hand ripple, like a TV that was losing connection. A jolt of fear when through him, and he quickly hid his hand back into his jacket pocket. What... what did that mean? He quietly gulped, forcing his trembles to stop as he quietly walked forward, holding out his other hand to help Ayumi up. It was best to put it off... Ayumi had to get out. She had to get back to where she belonged... even if he was scared as hell...

Ayumi put her scrap back in with her student ID. Even if this may not really be Heavenly Host, meaning the scrap didn't provide real protection, she felt better with it... As Mayu said, it linked them all. She looked at Yoshiki as he held out his hand to help her out. She took it, getting to her feet once more. Even when standing fine on her own two feet, she made no move to stop holding his hand. She felt better... the contact made her feel more centered as they made their way through the halls. Last stop would be that room with the giant symbol in it. She wasn't sure if they'd have to let themselves fall into the fit Ms. Yui had, or if she'd appear on the floor, in the similar way Sakutaro still appeared even if his body had been outside.

Yoshiki watched her get up, also reluctant to let go of her hand, but for different reasons. It felt... really nice... even though it seemed definite that she didn't feel the same, since she had never responded. "Are you ready then? I bet this'll be it... and then you can go home," he said with a small smile, also noticing that she looked a bit brighter too.

Ayumi looked at him, a little surprise he spoke. They had been pretty quiet to each other once this run around began. She smiled nervously with a small nod. "I think I'm ready..." she said, trying not to think of the scary parts of returning to a world where she was comatose for three years. It was a lot of time to miss, and a lot of time to make up for. She realized, once things were said with Ms. Yui, that she may automatically get sent back to her world. What would that mean for this Yoshiki? He had been so scared of being fake... but there was no way he would survive her waking, right? "Kishinuma... I just...," she began to trail off but paused as she stumbled to find a way to say what she really wanted to. "I could have never come this far without you... You were the catalyst to all of this and my only support... so, thank you," she said sincerely, cheeks burning red.

Yoshiki nodded lightly at her response, almost turning to go on and find Ms. Yui. But, he stopped at his name, staring at her curiously. When she started over and got out what she wanted, it almost felt like... an unofficial goodbye. He smiled softly at her, his brows furrowing slightly. His hand tightened around her's, and an anxious fist formed in the confines of his jacket pocket. "It's no problem... I'd always help if you needed it," he put in with a small blush, though it was hardly noticeable. He took in her red face, his eyes narrowed in amusement. "Especially if I get such a cute face in return," he mentioned in a half compliment and half tease, his blush deepening somewhat, but since he felt he would die, or disappear, or... whatever soon, he'd like to let her know about the little things he appreciated.

Ayumi's eyes widened in shock and embarrassment. His little teasing compliment managed to make her entire face shift to a red shade. She certainly wasn't used to hearing Yoshiki say anything like that, but she was definitely not displeased by it. A warmth radiated, and she figured if this was their last time talking as they were, she may as well just go with what she was feeling. "Heh... I never did give you a proper response, did I?" she asked, though it was rhetorical since she obviously didn't. At the time, she had been so pressed down by the matters of existing and where she was that she couldn't even have begun to give him a proper answer. Now that they were on their way to finishing this, she felt in a much better state of mind to give him an answer. She stepped closer, hand squeezing his gently as she pushed herself onto her tiptoes to press her lips against his.

Yoshiki looked at her, a little shocked she brought it up. He was about to note that she didn't have to, but something about the way she looked told him he wouldn't be receiving the long anticipated 'no'. Just her smile... it put his worrying mind at ease. He watched with slightly widened eyes as she came closer, his hand squeezing back and his heart jolting at the initial contact. Though, as his shock ebbed away, he leaned closer into the contact, his eyes shutting in bliss. His other hand removed itself from his pocket, wrapping around her waist affectionately. He had risked being exposed at this action, but luckily the hand had recovered from it's unstable condition.

Ayumi leaned into the contact more, finding herself at peace with how snugly their bodies fit together. Why hadn't she done this before? Well, probably because she had been so determined to not consider Yoshiki in that way. It seemed stupid, now. Yoshiki was always there for her, and he never expected anything in return. He was the one that had always been in front of her, but she had just never looked at. Now that he was firmly in her gaze, she couldn't imagine not being like this. In that moment, she forgot her goal and the status of his actual existence. All she cared about was his warmth. The kiss had to end eventually, though. She tugged back a little, offering a shy smile. It just occurred to her how direct of a response that had been.

Yoshiki savored the feeling, his heart feeling incredibly light at the contact he had merely dreamed of before. Sadly, it had to end... so Ayumi could go back to the others... Including the real Yoshiki. He opened his eyes after they parted, staring at her eyes and giving a smile in response to her shy one. He couldn't help but admire how cute she looked, and how good he felt inside. Of course he was still dreading the moment... but he was also happy he could have this one, and that Ayumi had been able to almost fully come out of her guilt. His hand moved nervously back to his side, now that the bliss finally passed he could feel that little sense of nervousness. Though, worriedly, he had to glance at his hand for a short second before coming back to her eyes. Good... that weird thing wasn't happening anymore... It put his mind a little at ease, but his worries weren't completely, gone of course. Though... he didn't want to hold Ayumi back with thought of what would happen to him. After all, he wanted a good life for her, and that definitely wasn't here, stuck in Heavenly Host. The real Yoshiki was waiting... She could have a fuller life with him. "I, aah... guess we should find Ms. Yui," he noted with a slight blush, his eyes adverting her gaze now that his boldness had fully diminished. He also needed to remind her they may be on a timer. If she restarted before they got to Ms. Yui... This would be like it never happened... The thought worried him more than his own demise, so he wanted to usher her a little.

Ayumi didn't want to pull apart from him, but the reminder of Ms. Yui and the ticking clock they faced urged her on. She really just had to focus on the task at hand and try not to think of the less-than-desirable results. In the end, she had to go back. The other Yoshiki was waiting for her... waiting three whole years. "Right," she nodded, her eyes becoming more determined as she reaffirmed her destination. This long nightmare... it would finally be coming to its end. She led Yoshiki through their held hands. The long, dark hallways of Heavenly Host felt less intimidating than they had. She couldn't be stopped now. This last bit of closure, and it'll be over. She opened the door of the room she had remembered with the collapsing floor. She was cautious as she entered it, but the floor was as it had been before trying to swallow her and Ms. Yui. The large occult symbol, painted with what she could only guess was blood, covered the entire room. She glanced around nervously, hoping they wouldn't have to find a way to go under the floorboards, where she had probably met her actual demise.

Yoshiki nodded and quietly followed, a new sort of warmth coming from their held hands. He gave a quiet sigh, trying to keep himself grounded in the reality of how things were going to end up. Once they got into the room, it only took a quick glance around that this room had an uneasiness to it. The floors gave creaks that felt like not much supported the planks, which made him incredibly uneasy. He wanted to stick close to the door, in case anything happened...

It wasn't long after that entered the room that a blue light began to make itself know, climbing up from the floor. The figure stood, stumbling a bit before securely standing in place. The familiar face of Ms. Yui lifted up to look at the two. Her leg looked a bit out of shape, and one arm was completely the wrong way, bone sticking out from the skin. Her back was covered in wounds, glass sticking out of her and a few other cuts that had been caused by other sharp object. Though, she still held firm in the belief that her students were like family, and they had to be safe. She was sad she couldn't save them all... but she was more disappointed to see Ayumi, who had gotten out before. She smiled sadly at her student, docile in a similar way that Mayu and Seiko were. "Ayumi... My precious student... What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice slightly strained with sorrow.

Ayumi's throat felt tight the moment she saw Ms. Yui. She looked up to her so much... She had been one of the few adults that commanded real respect from her. She had trusted the older woman so much as a mentor, that her lacking presence had made the rest of her time at Kisaragi feel so wrong. She opened her mouth, an apology about to spill out. The fact Ms. Yui died to save her... that she actually sacrificed a chance to get out in favor of letting her live... That had been Ms. Yui's choice. To apologize would just demean what happened, if the past three years didn't. She smiled sadly at her former teacher. "I wanted to say thank you... for everything you did for me. I know... I haven't been making the most of the life you gave me, like I should. But, I plan to make up for my lost time. I won't stand still any longer," Ayumi told her with a leveled voice and a determined fire in her eyes.

Ms. Yui smiled at Ayumi, her eyes tearing up slightly at her thanks. Though, it seemed like she already knew how she felt about everything... She didn't need her help anymore. She supposed... this closure was good for her too, because it let her see her student one last time, and be very proud of her. "Good... I know a lot happened to you... I'm so proud that you're deciding to go forward," she admitted, wiping a tear from her cheek.

It was a weight off her chest. To have these moments with those who had died... they were priceless. "I could have never managed this without all my friends..." she said with a small, fond smile. To reach this level of closure... she needed everyone of them. She was truly ready to go home to where she belonged.

Ms. Yui nodded firmly, feeling such pride of her students. They were so strong, and the ones that hadn't made it out... They still knew that friends were important. She couldn't have had a better class... "If you understand... then go back to them. They need you too," she said, as if to confirm this was one of the last pushes she needed to get out. After having said that and giving a small wave 'goodbye', she disappeared.

Ayumi could only soak in the moment for a second. Once Ms. Yui's body disappeared into thin air, the school began to shake violently. Patches didn't break, though. No rubble threatened to fall on their heads. Rather, parts of the school had become static-white. It was coming apart into a real sleep, she guessed. Her confidence wavered slightly as fear gripped her heart in uncertainty of the disappearing world around her. Her hand clutched Yoshiki's tightly, eyes moving to him.

Yoshiki stumbled slightly when the rumbling first began, but found his footing after a moment. His heart constricted with fear as he saw parts of the room disappearing in static, similar to how his hand had done when Ayumi had been close to getting out. His attention came back to Ayumi after he felt her hand tighten, his doing the same in response. He felt strange... Like, incredibly dizzy... He glanced to his other hand, eyes narrowing as it began the same static-like disappearance. He was trying to hide his fear, but was uncertain how well he was pulling it off.

Ayumi's stomach dropped as she watched the same static envelop Yoshiki. Of course, he would have to fall with this school. And, even if she had a Yoshiki waiting for her, the thought of just abandoning him after all his help made her feel sick. After all, he felt real. His hand's grip on her's... the kiss they shared... they would cease to exist, wouldn't they? It wasn't a conflict she had expected to meet at the end."Y...Yoshiki..." she said quietly, a reluctance in her eyes. The school began to dissolve away, patches of white replacing them at a rapid pace.

Yoshiki lifted his gaze to her's at his name. He blinked, gathering his wits enough to respond, though it was difficult through his fear and dizziness. He didn't want her to be reluctant about this... After all, she had a life to get back to. "It's okay... I figured out... that maybe I exist so you could get out of here... Maybe... because the real Yoshiki wanted you back so badly, and kept talking to you like that for three years...," he told her, guessing he'd share what he had been mulling over practically the whole time. Despite the length of time he had tried to think this through, he still wasn't completely sure... but this explanation made the most sense, and... gave him the most comfort, despite disappearing. "And I... really am happy I could help you get out... It does give a really nice... sense of fulfillment, I guess...," he admitted, his eyes going to the floor as a sad smile formed. The hand that held her's tightened, though the other had completely fuzzed out. Other random parts of his body were beginning to gain static, though compared to the school, it's progression was a little slower.

Ayumi's eyes were glassy from fighting back tears. He was the only reason she had been able to find those memories. Without the contact she had made with him, none of this would've unfolded. So, maybe that had been his purpose. Still, he existed outside of the Yoshiki she knew from her wakened years, and it was scary and awful she had to abandon him. After all, she could see fear in his eyes. In the end, this is what they worked for, though. She couldn't back down. At this part, the process seemed unstoppable. The entire school in back of her had fuzzed out. She was so close to getting back to her world. "I know I already said this... but thank you, Yoshiki. You're the only reason i'm getting back," she said sincerely. She still felt his grip on her hand and the warmth. Her heart ached as she gripped his hand back. It would be gone, soon, she knew. "But, this isn't really goodbye, right? Because... i'll see you soon..." she said as she smiled through tears that spilled over.

Yoshiki lifted his eyes back to her, his heart tightening slightly at her teary eyes. He smiled at her thanks, giving a small shake of his head. "It's no problem... I'm really just glad I was able to help," he admitted, but then was taken a little by surprise at her next comment. His smile disappeared as he absorbed the question. Technically... she would see him very soon... But... him him? Probably not... Still, he wouldn't tell her that of course. Besides, he wouldn't technically be lying. He nodded, his smile returning. "Right... You will," he confirmed, watching with a sad smile as her tears fell. His hand separated from hers, first raising to wipe off one of her tears, before shifting to the back of her head to make her lean forward slightly. He leaned down, gently kissing her forehead. It was... his own goodbye, he guessed... and this couldn't be drawn out any longer. The more she waited, the harder it'd be."See ya later...," he whispered, his heart giving an aching jolt as his hand shifted to her shoulder, pushing her back into the white that was still swallowing the school behind him. His hand moved in a small wave, before fuzzing out too. The school and Yoshiki were almost completely swallowed by the white static. In a split second, all vision was consumed by a blinding white light...

Ayumi leaned into his touch, and her heart fluttered as his lips met her forehead. The affectionate gesture made her warm, and his affirming words that this wasn't the end soothed her. Her calm expression shifted to wide-eyed surprise as she was pushed into white. She expected to fall, but instead she just hovered for a moment as the school and Yoshiki were slowly eaten away by the edges of her mind. Then, the white light was all she could see and gravity took her in a fall.


	8. Chapter 8

The hollow eyes of Shinozaki Ayumi regained a shine as she jolted back into her own body. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as her limbs twitched lightly on their own, for the first time in years. She looked down, seeing her clothes were not the Kisaragi Uniform. Her hand touched the fabric lightly, eyes narrowing. Yoshiki had dressed her then, hadn't he? The thought was a little embarrassing, but she decided to not spend too much time over thinking everything he had done for her while she had been away. 'Ah, Yoshiki!' she realized, looking up. Her expression softened as she saw him on the couch opposite to her. He was slouched to the side, as if he had unexpectedly passed out while he had just intended to sit for a while. She pushed herself off her chair, with the help of the wooden armrests. Her body felt weak from lack of use, but she figured that she'd regain lost muscle over time. She walked slowly over to the couch, sitting next to where he was slumped. She wasn't sure how to wake him, but she figured she'd try to be gentle. "Yoshiki..." she said quietly, nudging his shoulder. Her eyes caught onto his black hair, finding the change drastically different. Although, that was his original hair color, wasn't it? It actually suited him quite well... "Yoshiki," she said again, a little louder.

Yoshiki had intended to sit by her the whole night, as he usually did on her birthday. But since yesterday had been sort of rough... and then that thing happened with Satoshi... he was just a little more worn out than he had prior thought. So, without him really even noticing, he had slowly nodded off where he sat.

He was unsure as to how long he had been out, when he heard a soft voice calling him. He flinched as he was lightly nudged, and then the voice repeated his name. It was that familiar sweet voice he had fallen for... but in his drowsy state of mind, he just assumed it to be a dream. His eyes slowly opened, his heart sinking slightly in longing to really hear Ayumi, instead of it being a dream. But as his eyes came into focus a bit more, and they lifted after spotting the bright color of her skirt beside him, he paused in a stunned silence. Was it really... just a cruel dream? Or...

With a somewhat shocked expression, he straightened himself slightly, lifting his hand to hesitantly graze the fabric of her sleeve. It felt... real... It all felt real... An intense flood of emotions burst through in the same moment, bringing an aching to his chest and tears in his eyes. "Ayu... mi?" he asked slowly, his hand making it to hers from her sleeve. It was warm and smooth... Relief and happiness flooded through him all at once. He smiled, taking in her bright eyes with pure joy. She really was... back!

His emotions were a bit hard to control, so he was unable to think through or stop himself from quickly swiping her up in a tight hug, burying his head against the fabric of her shirt as tears that had long since been held in escaped. "Ayumi! Thank God you're okay! I knew you'd come back! I knew you would..," he spoke with a strong sense affection and care. One hand was wound tightly around her sides, the other cradling her head. At this point, he didn't care if she knew about his love, or if he was to be rejected, or any of that stupid trivial stuff! She was back, and that's all that mattered to him.

Ayumi found herself smiling at him as she slowly absorbed how happy he was to see her. To her, Yoshiki had been with her the entire time she was gone. He had gone through years alone... She couldn't imagine the burden she put on him because of her faltering mind. As he pulled her into a tight hug, her arms lifted to returned it. It was a little frustrating how weak her grip felt and how exhausted little movements seemed to make her, but she reminded herself she'd be back to normal soon enough. Right now, she could really only focus on Yoshiki and his voice. He had such faith in her... It was scary to think that there had been a chance that she really would have just relived Heavenly Host for forever. Yoshiki stopped that from happening though. His voice brought her back. "I'm sorry it took so long..." she said, regretting the three years and how he had to spend them.

Yoshiki just laughed through his straining voice, tightening his grasp on her. It didn't matter... Nothing mattered now. "It's fine... You're back, that's all I care about," he admitted breathlessly, closing his eyes tightly. His heart was racing, and he could hardly believe what was happening... But it was by far the best thing that had ever happened to him. He actually had Ayumi back... and it was sending him into an emotional mess. It was very much unlike how he usually was, but he could hardly help the loss of control over his emotions.

Ayumi rested her head on Yoshiki's shoulder as his grip tightened around her. His overwhelming emotions triggered tears to begin to flow from her eyes. It was hard to believe she actually came back. It was also hard to believe it had been three years. To her, it had felt like a few hours at most. "You took care of me all this time... Right?" she asked quietly. She realized she shouldn't let guilt gnaw at her when she just finally managed to shake off her guilt from Heavenly Host. It was hard to force herself to overlook everything Yoshiki had done and probably sacrificed, though.

Yoshiki took in the feeling of her contact, his mind still having trouble believing this was reality. After three years... He was so glad he had stuck by her. Ha... like he could have left her in the first place. Once he became a little more composed, his head lifted from her shoulder, though his eyes were still a little wet as they looked in her direction. Though, he didn't make any movement to remove her from her own position resting against him. It honestly felt... really nice... He smiled quietly, giving a small nod, even if she couldn't see it. "Yeah, but... don't blame yourself for anything, 'k? It was my choice... Besides, I couldn't leave you even if I tried," he admitted with a small, pathetic laugh. He mentioned her guilt because before she had gotten sick, or whatever had happened, all she would ever talk about was Heavenly Host and about how it was her fault. He didn't want that to repeat itself over his own actions. Besides, it wasn't like he regretted taking the time to care for her... And, it had only been three years, out of a life that could be much more, especially with Ayumi... Err, as a friend, he meant...

Ayumi nestled against him, the detail of what confessions happened where and when lost in her muddled mind at that moment. Her heart sank a bit at his answer, even if it was somewhat comforting to hear that it was his choice to take care of her. She had to assume he had to give up school, which was one of the things she felt worse about. After all, she had encouraged him to continue his education, and then she became the reason he had to hold off on it. But, if he had chosen to go to school and let some professionals take care of her, she didn't know if that break would have ever happened. Who knew if her dream-version of Yoshiki would've ended up saying and doing everything the real Yoshiki had done. Her hands grabbed onto the fabric of the back of his shirt. She couldn't keep letting herself feel guilty about everything... Instead, she'd just let herself be grateful to him for taking her in. "Thank you, Yoshiki," she said quietly, "I don't think... I would've made it back without you."

Yoshiki felt a rush of happiness and sense of fulfillment after he heard that perhaps without him... she wouldn't have pulled through. His grasp on her tightened, and he had to push down a choked sob. He actually had been the one to help her out... so he hadn't been wrong... He sighed to relieve some of the pressure building in his chest before responding. "I'm... really glad I could help you out," he told her, turning to look away from her so his head could lean against hers. "I was actually... starting to feel pretty useless... Just sitting around...," he told her with a small sense of shame, that he had started to get more disheartened because of that fact.

Ayumi smiled softly as he held her tight, the choked sob was hard not to notice. He had to have been so affected by all of this. He had been alone, since Naomi and Satoshi were off in different places in the country for school. Even if her body had been present, her mind had been so far gone. She hated to think of him having to suffer through this alone. "What you were saying at the end... It got to me," she tried to explain without going in-depth. "Besides that... you were with me the entire time." she added, thinking back to Yoshiki's seventeen-year-old self. In mind and spirit, his support of her never wavered... It was really amazing the devotion he had to her.

Yoshiki listened closely, but was a bit loss with what she said. He guessed his presence had to help her in some obvious way... and by 'what he was saying'... the last thing he had talked about before nodding off was about his affections, wasn't it? It was a little embarrassing that she knew about it, but not near as bad as it would have been a few years ago. At this point, he didn't care what she knew. He was just glad to have her back. And yeah, he was technically here for her the whole time... but she hadn't been here mentally, so she couldn't have been aware. "I... was?" he asked hesitantly, wanting to be filled in a bit on what that meant, if she remembered.

Ayumi moved away a little bit so she could actually make eye contact. While snuggling up against him felt nice, she figured this was a better place to try and explain it. "When I wasn't conscious... in my mind I was still in Heavenly Host. So, of course, you were with me," she noted, since he had been her companion through the hellhole. "And the you in the dream and the you here started... connecting at the end? He carried messages from you... Which started to break the cycle I was in. Until today, I was going through the motions at Heavenly Host time and time again..." she tried to explain. She knew it was all weird, and it had all be caused by her mind. It wasn't like she had tried anything supernatural. It was just a lot of guilt, sorrow, and grief that had spiraled her into the never-ending Heavenly Host.

Yoshiki met her eyes as she moved back, already missing the warmth a little, but only because he had been without it for so long. Ha, not like he had been allowed to hug her and stuff before, but... still, her absence made him only long for her more. "I... see... I guess that makes sense... Sort of?" he said, though was unsure. It was something in her head, so he guessed he couldn't make much sense of it... But, going by her guilt and general depression, he assumed Heavenly Host was the only place her mind could send her to be punished. There was also a Yoshiki made by her head, that he talked through?... It made him wonder that if maybe he hadn't been around, not only would she have not woken up, but maybe it'd separate her from the dream one too... Well, there was no point in thinking about ifs. "I guess... it doesn't really matter what happened now that you're out," he told her with a soft smile. He didn't really see the point in fretting about where she had been, since now she was back where she belonged... Err, n-not that he meant in his house, just... this life... Ah, _her_ life. Ugh, his tired and shocked mind was fretting over stuff he wasn't even saying out loud...

Ayumi knew it was probably confusing, since she was talking about him as if he had been somewhere he hadn't really been. For all intents and purposes, she had been caught in a long dream. So, trying to explain a dream to someone has always proven to be a bit hard. Her thoughts derailed at his next comment, and she found herself nodding lightly in agreement. She got out. It didn't matter how or why... She just knew she was back where she should be, and her guilt didn't weigh down on her constantly. Her eyes scanned over Yoshiki curiously, since it had been three years since she had seen _him_. Especially after having his seventeen-year-old self present in front of her so long, she could really make out the differences. He wasn't a boy anymore. Her hand twitched to life, her fingers weaving into his dark hair."So, this is your natural hair color?" she asked with a small smile. It was an odd subject switch, but the conversation before had wrapped up and she couldn't not comment on it.

Yoshiki didn't find the small silence too awkward. He was more absorbed in his happiness and admiring the shining eyes full of will he hadn't seen in so long. He twitched slightly as her hand went through his hair, the contact unexpected through his own consuming thoughts. The movement was spine tingling... but he was careful in not letting himself indulge in that too much. His eyes stared at hers, a small blush forming from the action. "Ah, yeah... I thought it was a waste of money to keep getting it bleached, so I just let it turn back... Must be weird for you, huh?" he asked curiously. Not only had she seen the dream Yoshiki for all this time, but before all this had happened he still had his hair bleach blond. It was only after a while of taking care of Ayumi that he stopped doing anything special to it, and it grew back to its natural within about half a year. Of course, he had some places colored, since it'd look too weird for him to have places that weren't black... Which also was a bad impression with employers, so he had spared some money to get that fixed... But he guessed now, after another year or so, it was probably almost, if not all, natural.

There was something that worried Ayumi at the comment. Had money become so tight for him that even getting his hair bleached was too much of a luxury? She didn't know how to begin to repay him... She'd wait to bring up any topic like that up, though. She needed to... figure out what she was going to do from here on out, but she knew that discussion could at least wait until the next morning. She smiled fondly at him as she pulled her hand back to her side. She really shouldn't be breaking barriers like that with this Yoshiki yet, right? Even if he did love her... "It really suits you," she noted. He looked less like the delinquent he wasn't. Actually, he looked cute this way... not that he didn't before. She just found herself liking this as well, which was good, since she assumed he'd be sticking with it from here on out. Ergh... not that it mattered what _she_ specifically thought of his hair.

Yoshiki smiled lightly at her, finding a strange relief that she didn't dislike it. Ugh, at this point, he really shouldn't care so much, but... he could hardly help it. "Thanks...," he muttered gratefully, glancing away with slight embarrassment. That... may have been the first time Ayumi had ever complimented him, and he wasn't sure how to take it... Well, before this got too awkward, he should probably show her to bed. After all, it was late... He hadn't meant to stay up this late himself... He liked to get them both to bed around eleven or twelve... but he had accidentally napped, and the clock hand flew from ten to two... His hands unwound themselves from her, not that the reunion had concluded... well, at least for tonight. Maybe they'd get to more tomorrow. "Uh, anyways... your room is down the hall, the last door on the right... the door before that is the bathroom," he explained to her. Most of the money difference between living by himself and with her was... well, besides money, it was the fact that he had had to go the extra mile for a two bedroom apartment... He wouldn't tell her that though. He didn't want her to feel guilty about something she really didn't have control over, or guilty about his _own_ decisions to sacrifice some stuff for her.

Ayumi wasn't sure how tired she was, since she had been 'asleep' for so long. It was nighttime, and she should probably adjust herself to the land of the living as soon as possible. She glanced down at the direction Yoshiki pointed out, a little surprised she even had a room. Couldn't he have kept her in a chair or couch? It wouldn't have been like she could ever tell... but, she guessed she could understand why he would go that extra length. But... urgh... three years worth of a two bedroom apartment with no actual roommate paying rent? How had he even managed? While she did have money from the life insurance policies on her family, she was pretty sure Yoshiki had no way of reaching it, even when he was taking care of her. She'd have to write him a check or something... but she could guess he wasn't going to like that. Urgh, another bridge she'd cross when the sun was up. For now, she should go lay her head down. "Thanks..." she said, as she pulled herself up on her feet. "Goodnight, Yoshiki," she said, it just occurring to her that she had jumped to personal names after she had woken up. Well, he didn't seem to mind, so she wouldn't worry about it. She gave a small wave before she headed to the room that was apparently her's.

Yoshiki watched her stand, smiling slightly and giving a small wave back."Yeah... goodnight," he told her, leaving out names for now. Yeah, he had called her Ayumi at first... but he had just been overwhelmed. Ayumi was calling him by his first name, which definitely made him happy, but was unsure of what it meant, or if he should follow suit. She said she had heard some of what he had said... which could have been his confession... But if she had, then what was her answer?... Maybe he should wait until he _actually_confesses to hear her answer... Well, either way, it was a thing that was for tomorrow, or even a few days... Right now, he needed some sleep... He stood, stretching for a moment before returning to his own room. He was unsure of what the future held... But with Ayumi back, he now looked forward to tomorrow instead of just going through the motions...

_'4:23 in the morning,'_ Ayumi thought with a tired stare at the red glowing numbers. Her attempts to sleep had consisted of sitting in bed with her eyes shut as she tried to keep her mind clear, to a moment of blackened rest, to being jolted awake not more than 20 minutes later. So, here she was, just watching the numbers on the clock. She didn't know why she felt restless... It was technically the first time in a long time that she didn't have Yoshiki's presence, even if it was a door or two over. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as she let out a frustrated huff. She couldn't be _this_ dependent on him... She pulled the covers off her legs and swiveled to get out of the bed. She spent a little bit of time rustling through her drawers. A lot of it was clothes, some she remembered and some she didn't. She had to wonder if Yoshiki braved the girl's sections of clothing stores or asked Naomi to take care of that... She sorta hoped that had been the case when it came to underwear, even though she realized he would've had to come into contact with those types of things at some point. Her face went bright red just thinking about specifics of her body... Well, she shouldn't let herself drone on them too long. The fact he took care of her so well helped relax the embarrassing bits. It seemed he had gone to her dorm room and took all her stuff from it. Some old drawing pads... damn, she hadn't drawn in three years. She was terrified to see her skill degrade in that time. Her eyes widened as she found her checkbook. The last check had been for the first semester at an art university... What a waste of so much money. She put the checkbook on her drawer... she'd have to bring that up to Yoshiki, as much as she knew he may get frustrated with her for even suggesting the idea. She looked over to the clock, seeing not even half an hour had passed.

She was _tired_, but she couldn't reach a calm state of mind to sleep. She found herself quietly opening her bedroom door and slipping out of it. She would question herself what she was doing, but she already knew. Her hand slowly reached to grab the knob of Yoshiki's door. It rested on the cool metal for a moment as she considered what she was about to do. Was this crossing lines? Was she doing both of them a disservice by allowing herself to be clingy? She was too tired to think those questions out to full length answers. She twisted the knob quietly, poking her head into the room. "Y... Yoshiki?"she whispered quietly into the darkness. She felt like a child at that moment.

Yoshiki stared at the wall through tired eyes, every so often checking the clock. When he had first gotten into bed, he had been able to sleep for an hour or so... After that, once he woke up, he started snapping awake with practically only five minutes of sleep. He had eventually given up, resigning himself to lie in bed, with his head resting on his arm. He didn't know why it was so hard to go to sleep and stay that way... Maybe it was a mix of excitement that Ayumi was herself again, and worry over how she may be doing in the other room.

His eyes had just started shutting at almost five, though not because he was falling asleep. They were simply getting too heavy for him to keep open. Though, they were kicked back into alertness at the sound of doors opening, and then Ayumi's voice. He sat up, rubbing at his tired eye. "Yeah? What is it?" he asked, stifling a yawn. Had he not already been up, her quiet whisper probably wouldn't have caught his attention... And though he was worried she was getting to sleep, he was thankful for something to pass the time, no matter how little her request would actually take up.

Ayumi was surprised to hear his voice respond, since she had been almost sure she would've have to have gotten louder to get his attention, which at that point she probably would've just slunk back to her room. Her cheeks felt warm as she struggled with a decent way to ask for her request. She was more in her own mind now, as opposed to the mindset she left the fake Heavenly Host in. Therefore, asking something like this just seemed embarrassing and a little inappropriate. "It's..." she mumbled, eyes centered on the ground even though in the darkness it was hard to even begin to try to make his expression out. "Can I... spend the night with you?" she asked quietly, fingers interlacing nervously.

Yoshiki stared at her as she spoke, though he really couldn't see her specific features. He became even more alert once she got out her request, his heart picking up pace. Like... sleep together? Err, in the same bed, of course... His face turned a deep red, as he had been caught off guard. It'd be nice... and if he couldn't go to sleep, it would still be extremely comfortable and practically like a dream come true. He gulped quietly, trying to get himself to answer, even though he was a little unsure how. "Uh, s-sure... if you want," he answered hesitantly, glancing away as if that would cure his nervously beating heart.

Ayumi's heartbeat was thumping loudly in her ears as she waited for Yoshiki to respond. Her intertwined fingers pushed towards herself in a small stretch as she realized if he said yes, she'd have to handle the embarrassment and uncertainty of crawling into bed with him. Then again, the chance of him giving a flat-out no was not likely. At his answer, she nodded in the darkness. She wasn't sure if he could make out the gesture or not, but she figured her next movement would confirm her taking the accepted request. She was almost positive a blush was covering her face and ears, but luckily that was hidden away in shadows. She had no idea how Yoshiki's room was laid out, so she moved through it slowly and carefully as she avoided hurting herself by running into anything. Her hand made contact with the fabric of the sheets, and her heartbeat's loudness in her ears didn't cease. She had to be crossing some sort of line here, after all, the two were technically just friends at this point. It was too late to go pulling back now. Well, it wasn't. Yoshiki wouldn't force her to go through with it, but she wanted to. She had felt better back when she had first awoken, because she had been close to him. Her reliance was running too deep, but she couldn't pull back. She was too drawn to him. She pulled the covers up a bit as she slipped into the bed.

Yoshiki assumed she had shown some sign that she understood, given the complete silence. He slowly settled back down into the bed, his nerves shaken horribly. He kept his eyes on the wall, his back turned to the side of the bed she was climbing into. He had tried to give her the majority of the room, while being subtle about it, since he doubted she wanted her personal space completely violated. He guessed she was just nervous about being alone? He couldn't be sure... but with the ability to feel the heat ebbing off of her, he wasn't exactly complaining...

Ayumi settled down in the bed, in a room that was just as unfamiliar to her as what had been 'her' room. The only thing that wasn't completely new here was Yoshiki... She wondered if this desire to be near him was a result of her familiarity with him or her love. Realistically, it probably was some sort of mix. She was using him like a security blanket, although she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to. She wasn't sure about _anything_ at the moment. She noticed Yoshiki was keeping his distance, as much as the bed would allow him to anyways. Her hand moved, grabbing lightly onto the back of his shirt and tugged lightly at him. She wanted him closer and turned around... She just couldn't verbalize the desire, because she was almost certain it would come out a weird, stuttering mess.

Yoshiki was finding it even harder to close his eyes with Ayumi so tantalizingly close. His eyes, that had only been half shut, opened wide again at a tug on his shirt. He turned on his side, looking at Ayumi questioningly. He figured it was just to get his attention, but it sort of worried him that something may be wrong... Since she had just snapped out of her three year 'coma', he was a little on edge about something going wrong.

Ayumi caught the questioning look as he turned over, but she didn't have anything to say. Instead, so just moved forward and closed the gap between them. Her head nestled against his chest, which was good because she wasn't so sure she wanted to see his expression at the moment. She realized she was being weird and overly clingy... After all, the last time this Yoshiki had seen her, she had been depressed and angry. What she had gone through in the Heavenly Host in her head had straightened her out a lot. She wasn't being crushed by the guilt of the unforeseeable consequences of the charm. With the addition of her realized feelings for Yoshiki, she could only guess how much she may be confusing him.

Yoshiki waited for an answer, but what did happen caught him completely off guard. His breath caught in his throat as he felt her settle into him, all of this happening much too quickly for him to comprehend. His heart beat fast as he was a bit frozen, a little too nervous and confused to do anything. It felt like she had changed much more than he had during those three years... Yeah, her brightness that she had before Heavenly Host was shocking, but this... He didn't even know where to start with this. He gulped quietly, just urging himself to go with it. His mind also had to ask why he was even questioning it... He guessed his pessimism in their relationship turning out this way made it harder to just roll with... but he didn't have a choice in it, much. He wanted her to get some rest, so bothering her about it now was out. Plus, he wasn't sure if he wanted to drag out unnecessary embarrassment for them both... He guessed it was best he just go with it and be happy that it was happening. He sighed softly to rid himself of anxiety, trying to push away the other fear of doing something she wouldn't want. His arms moved hesitantly to wrap around her, his head settling lightly against hers. He closed his eyes, the comforting warmth overcoming his confusion and nervousness. It wasn't long that he fell asleep, extremely comfortable and his mind eased, now that it knew without a shadow of a doubt that Ayumi was safe, right next to him.

* * *

The bustling of the airport was easy to drown out as Satoshi fumbled with his phone. He was still debating with himself if he should even bother calling Yoshiki. He had never seen him as mad as he was yesterday. He would rather be there in person, but his flight left today. The idea of Yoshiki severing ties with him felt surreal, but the more Satoshi thought about, the more he realized he probably crossed a line. He just wants Yoshiki to have a somewhat normal life after everything that's happened... He still thought it may be better to put Ayumi in the hands of someone else, but the chance of Yoshiki ever coming around to the idea seemed nonexistent. He found Yoshiki's name in his contact list, letting out a heavy sigh. He wasn't so sure what he was going to say, he just knew he wanted to patch up the fight they had. He didn't want to lose another friend. He pressed the green call button and held the phone up to his ear as he waited anxiously.

Yoshiki had fallen in quite a deep sleep. His arms were still draped around Ayumi, though sleep had stolen any tightness that had been present before. It was unclear how long he'd sleep... until his phone went off. He flinched, his eyes opening slowly. He wasn't sure what had awoken him at first, until he heard the chime of his phone behind him. He yawned, giving Ayumi one more light hug before turning carefully, in case she was still asleep. He reached over for the phone and looked at the ID, even if he already was pretty sure who it was. Had Ayumi not gotten better, he would've ignored the call, but now that she was, he couldn't possibly keep the information from Satoshi. After all, he was her friend too. He turned back over quickly to Ayumi, using his other had to gently shake her. "Ayumi... Ayumi, mind answering this?" he asked softly, gesturing the phone towards her. He had to be a little quick, since he didn't want Satoshi to think he was still ignoring him. Also... he had just decided to call her Ayumi. To sleep this close to her and still call her Shinozaki seemed a bit silly.

Once Ayumi had been comfortably in Yoshiki's arm, sleep came with no problems. She hadn't even begun to stir from it until she felt herself being shaken with Yoshiki saying her name. She opened her eyes tiredly. What time was it? More importantly, why was Yoshiki holding a phone up to her? Her brow furrowed in confusion as she tried to become more awake and aware of the situation. "Wait, what? Why?" she questioned with a voice hoarse from sleep. Who the hell could possibly be calling that he had to wake her up to answer it?

Yoshiki felt a little bad for waking her up, but he was certain she would like to talk to Satoshi, when she hadn't for three years. "It's Satoshi... I thought it'd be best for you to tell him you're okay," he told her with a small apologetic smile. He wasn't going to tell her about the whole putting her in a hospital thing... After all, Satoshi had only suggested it for his well being, and didn't deserve to have Ayumi mad at him. He was just looking out for him... even if his hope for her recovery was shockingly low.

Ayumi sat up on her elbow at the answer, figuring it was a good reason to have woken her up. She accepted the phone from Yoshiki's hand. She was a little unsure how to talk to Satoshi, since the entire thing was just odd. She had been unconscious for three whole years... What could she even say? Well, she didn't have much time to figure it out. She answered the call quickly, since she didn't want it going to voice-mail. "Hello?" she answered, still trying to figure out how to present this information.

Satoshi had been waiting anxiously, beginning to lose hope Yoshiki would even answer. When, suddenly, he heard a voice. He froze for a moment at the female voice. His mind first went to the idea of Yoshiki having some girl in bed with him. But, if he knew Yoshiki, he knew that wasn't much of a possibility. That only left one option, though... "Shinozaki?" he asked slowly and in awe.

At the pause, Ayumi wondered what Satoshi was even thinking. The, what was assuming, incredulous silence was an oddly comforting thing that a woman answering Yoshiki's phone would be weird. Not that she'd think he'd have done something like that... but, y'know... Hearing her name she smiled lightly. "Hi, Mochida. How have you been?" she asked still a little unsure of how to approach any of this.

"I... fine! But, you're awake!? You're really Shinozaki?" Satoshi asked urgently, feeling a crippling guilt settle in his stomach yesterday at his suggestion.

"Yes. Who else do you think this could be?" she asked, a little confused at how shocked he seemed. Well, it had been three years... She was having a hard time keeping the length of time in mind for how it felt for everyone else.

"Sorry. It's just... it's been a long time. How are you feeling?" Satoshi asked as he leaned back against the airport chair, eyes glancing nervously to the boarding gate.

"I feel fine... I don't think we have to worry about that happening again," she assured him. It had been served mostly by her mental state, which was much better now. Sure... a lot of her friends and her family was dead, but she was handling the grief better now.

"That's... really good to hear. I'm glad you're back, Shinozaki," he said sincerely, feeling his eyes burning. Ah, crap, he didn't want to start crying in the middle of the airport, but all his worries could settle down a little. Although... he wasn't so sure if Yoshiki would forgive him for suggesting putting Ayumi away with such force.

"Thanks, Mochida. It's good to be back," she said with a soft smile. He was probably at school right? Well, they'd have plenty of time to catch up on those types of details.

"Er... hey... is Yoshiki there?" Satoshi asked after a nervous pause. He had to make sure they were on good grounds.

"Uh, yeah, he is," Ayumi said with a confused edge to her voice. Why did Satoshi sound so nervous about talking to him? She moved the phone, gesturing it to Yoshiki.

Yoshiki listened, watching Ayumi talk as if nothing had even happened. With her personality, he almost felt that way too... Like these past years, all the way back to before Heavenly Host, just didn't exist. It was weird, but it was a very good thing for her. He glanced to the phone as it was handed to him, a little apprehensive about taking it. He wasn't exactly sure what to say to Satoshi... Regardless, he took it, since he didn't want Ayumi to know anything was particularly wrong with them. "Hey," he greeted in his normal tone, glancing to the side.

Satoshi's foot shook nervously as he waited for the phone to be handed off. At Yoshiki's normal tone, he felt no more relaxed. It was too easy to remember his yelling yesterday. "Hey..." he responded, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm sorry, about yesterday. I should have never said anything..." he said, eyes narrowed at the ground. Ugh, but just a few minutes ago, he was still mentally pushing for Yoshiki to put her away. It was a good thing that in the end, it seemed that Yoshiki did know what to do with her to bring her back. Satoshi had no clue how or why it happened, but he realized he had been dead wrong. Although, at that point... he had considered Ayumi a lost cause. He had just wanted Yoshiki to continue on with his life. His stomach was churning violently as he felt disgust at himself for giving up on her.

Yoshiki listened to his apology, sighing quietly after a moment. "It's fine... You were just trying to look out for me," he told him with a small shrug. If Ayumi asked, he'd just say it was something random about a job or something. With his vagueness, it'd be easy to cover up.

Satoshi was relieved that Yoshiki didn't shut down the apology, like he had sort of been expecting."Yeah... well, still... in the end you knew what she needed," he admitted, eyes looking towards the gate as the announcement was made that they could begin boarding. "Ah, well... my plane is boarding now, so I have to go. But, i'll talk to you later," Satoshi said, as he stood up, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

Yoshiki made a small hum, a sort of satisfaction in him. He was too used to being wrong... He was glad he had done what was needed for once. "Alright, see ya. Have a safe trip," he said casually, then shortly after shut his phone. It was short and sweet, but that was sort of how guys worked.

Ayumi watched as the conversation wrapped her. Her eyes were narrowed in confusion at the weird little details and how they seemingly just wrapped up some sort of fight. "Did something happen between you two?" she asked with a small frown. Satoshi had sounded incredibly nervous asking to talk to Yoshiki...

Yoshiki looked at Ayumi after setting the phone back on the night stand. He had no intention of hiding that something had happened, since it was rather obvious. He just meant to keep away the subject of it. Or completely make a new conflict. "Yeah, but it was something little," he said with a small, dismissive wave.

Ayumi looked at his with a raised eyebrow, unsure how to take his vague response. "I didn't think guys fought over little things," she mentioned with a small frown. It wasn't like small things set either Satoshi or Yoshiki off... or at least, they didn't when she was around three years ago. She wasn't so sure how much confidence she could speak with about anyone or their behavior, given her long absence.

Yoshiki gave a small shrug, sinking back into the bed and pillow. He was still pretty exhausted... They had only got about four hours of sleep... "It's a rare thing, but it happens," he explained shortly. Another thing about guys is that they rarely held grudges, unless it was something really bad. Admittedly... had Ayumi not gotten better the day of the argument, he would've held true to his threat and would have ignored Satoshi. But... he knew Satoshi was probably giving himself more than enough grief for giving up, so he didn't need to hold anything against him. Besides, what he had said had been true. Satoshi was just a big ball of caring for his friends, so it was easily understandable about where he was coming from.

Ayumi looked at him in confusion. He was being particularly vague about this..., but she guessed she'd just let it slide. It wasn't like it was her business what happened between Satoshi and him. If anything, the fight was probably something stupid that wouldn't have been worth trying to get the details from."Alright then," she said, leaning back down against the bed. Her head still felt heavy with sleepiness."We really shouldn't fall back asleep now. It'll just make getting to bed tonight that much harder,"she said, stifling a yawn. Even though four hours of sleep was pretty brutal to try and run on...

Yoshiki was glad she had settled for ignorance. Lucky for him, nothing had been said or hinted that it was anything more than something stupid. At her next comment, though, he couldn't hold back a tired and reluctant groan, throwing his arm across his eyes. He didn't want to get up... Especially since he had to work today... The only day he really ever took off for in his flurry of two jobs was Ayumi's birthday. And to not sleep even six hours... it would be incredibly rough on him at work.

"You make a compelling argument," Ayumi deadpanned at his groan. Although, she wanted to fall back asleep too... It had been nice, warm, and secure in his arms. On the other hand, if she let herself sleep deep into the noon, she would be too restless to go to sleep tonight. Not that it mattered... she had nowhere to be and nothing to do. "Fine, you sleep. I'm getting up," Ayumi said as she pushed herself to sit up. She had to start figuring out what the hell she was going to do with herself.

Yoshiki gave a small nod at the comment that was meant to be sarcastic. He rolled over back on his side, his arm coming back to the bed in a lifeless manner. "Alright...," he muttered tiredly, his eyes already closed and his mind well on it's way to more rest. He was less worried about her now, and his mind was horribly bogged down from being asleep before, so it came a lot easier now, even without Ayumi's warmth.

Ayumi scoffed lightly at him, but he deserved his rest. She scooted out of his bed quietly, leaving his room with soft feet. She felt a bit weird walking around the apartment that was her current home. She felt like she was at a stranger's house and had to be on her best behavior. She went into the bathroom, splashing some cold water on her face and brushed her teeth in an effort to wake up more. Guh, she was going to be a zombie all day.

Ayumi felt odd being on Yoshiki's computer, since it almost felt like violating his privacy. Not that she was going into his history or folders, but all in all, she felt like she should have asked permission. Beside her a piece of blank piece of paper from one of her old sketchbooks, a pencil, and her checkbook. She wanted to figure out how much she ended up owing him... Plus, she needed to check in on her own bank accounts. Between the money her parents and sister had that was given to her by their wills, their life insurance claims resulted in her being well off. It wasn't enough money to last her a lifetime or anything, but it was enough that she didn't have to worry about living on the street for a longtime. She definitely didn't mind parting with a chunk of it to pay Yoshiki back. It was just the question if he'd make it difficult to give him. Her fingers typed at the keyboard, as she tried to figure out the costs she pushed on him.

She worked on it for a long time, scribbling numbers and estimations down on her scrap paper. The entire process was arduous and boring, though. With a tired mind, she found herself zoning out, just staring at the computer screen. "Stay awake, stay awake..." she grumbled at herself. She was tempted to check if they had coffee around here, but she was quick to realize that it was probably too expensive for him to have, between the cost of the beans and the machine. She let out a heavy sigh as she gave a big stretch, eyes scanning over all the numbers she wrote. If her calculations were near correct, she found herself utterly baffled how Yoshiki managed to take care of her that entire time. She was in the middle of searching for the cost of IV fluids and materials, since it hadn't been like she could chew and swallow in her previous state, when sleep pulled her under again.


	9. Chapter 9

Yoshiki woke up around two, which was pretty late, but plenty early enough to be ready for work. He took a shower and came out half dressed, mostly because he needed a drink before digging around for his work shirt. He paused when he saw Ayumi, passed out at the computer. He grew a pitiful smile, knowing she couldn't run on four hours of sleep. He stepped closer after getting a small cup of water, his eyes widening slightly at the what she had been looking at. Some tabs had price estimates on this and that, and another was a bank account. His eyes glanced to the paper that was half hidden by her arm, skimming the list of prices. "Ugh, Ayumi... You shouldn't," he said with a sigh, gently ruffling her hair. She didn't have to repay him... It was like someone giving you some ice cream, and then you paying for it anyways. He knew that this was a bit more than a small treat, but still... it was still sort of them same... Oh well, she'd probably still be adamant in this endeavor... He just hoped he couldn't actually talk her out of it...

After he finished off his water, he resumed getting ready. Around thirty minutes later, near to four, he had to set off for work. He pulled on a thin jacket for the chill of September, casting sleeping Ayumi a glance. He would've moved her to bed... if he wasn't so sure he'd wake her up. Passing out wasn't exactly good for tiredness, but if he woke her up, she'd probably be stubborn to stay awake. He quietly approached her, his hand rubbing her hair again. Though, he wasn't so satisfied with such a friendly goodbye... He leaned down, kissing the top of her hand and then backing away with a small blush on his face, though his expression softened. "See ya... I'll be back around eleven," he told her before heading towards the door, opening and shutting it quietly.

* * *

Ayumi jerked awake suddenly past seven'o clock. She instantly noted how sore her back and neck was from her weird position of being curled over- "Crap, I fell asleep!" she cursed as she realized her attempt to make it through the day hadn't lasted too long. Actually, she wasn't so sure when she had fallen asleep... it was lost between all the other numbers running through her head. She was surprised Yoshiki hadn't woken her up... since there was no way he was actually still asleep, right? She pushed back from the computer, closing down the web browser in a couple clicks. She grabbed her materials, putting them in her room to deal with when her brain wasn't so heavy with post-nap fog. She then moved to Yoshiki's room, knocking lightly before poking her head in. She frowned lightly as she realized she was home alone... Had he gone to work? When was he getting back? She walked into the kitchen, expecting some sort of note or explanation to his disappearance. She let out a small huff, shaking her head as she came up fruitless. She felt... anxious. It wasn't light either, it was a heavyset dread that made her quickly take a seat. 'Just breathe...' she told herself desperately. She couldn't react so violently every time she was left on her own. It wasn't like she was in Heavenly Host. She wasn't going to die from his absence."Dammit, Yoshiki," she cursed as she gave one more look over for a note. If he didn't leave one, that meant he was only going out for a little, right?! Then when did he leave, and why wasn't he back!? She let out a small groan between her controlled breathes through her nose. She was probably scaring herself for nothing... But the night her parents and Hinoe never came home, she thought they were just running later or got caught up in something and they died. She wanted to call him, but she had no clue where her cell phone was. Actually, she probably needed to get one, since there had been no reason for an unconscious person to have one. She didn't even know if Yoshiki had his old number or what. She had no idea where he was.

As time crawled on, she began pacing the apartment like an anxious dog before a thunderstorm. Questions kept pacing through her mind. Their was some rationality telling her he was probably at work... It lost out to the other worse case scenarios in her head.

* * *

Yoshiki sighed, digging in his pocket for his keys. As he had predicted, today had dragged on and he had been running on low. Despite sleeping later, nothing really beat sleeping when you were actually supposed to. Once he unlocked the door, he opened it quietly, in case Ayumi had went to bed. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes as the other hand shoved the key back into his place. He walked in and turned, shutting the door and locking it back. And tomorrow, he had to open for his other job... Ugh, sometimes he felt like he was constantly running on empty...

Ayumi hadn't been able to settle herself down at all. It was hard to tell herself to relax, because there are no ways that those worse case scenarios in her head could actually true. After all, the chances of people around her being in the worse case scenarios were very high. She had been in the hallway when she heard the sound of the door opening... Which was good that it wasn't knocking, because that meant it was Yoshiki coming home as opposed to police officers on the other side of her door with bad news. The relief that swelled in her was quickly extinguished by the fire in her chest. She hurried out to where he was, hands clenched tightly into fists at her side, and she glared at him through wet eyes. "Where the hellwere you!?" she suddenly snapped at him.

Yoshiki turned, prepared to maybe eat, and then just collapsing into bed. But... most things don't go as expected. He jumped slightly as he was confronted with an angry Ayumi. Ugh, he almost felt like she was going to accuse him of infidelity, the way she had started off. Though, he knew that wasn't it, since they weren't even together... officially... Honestly, he was really confused about where they stood... but he was more so confused, and concerned, about why she was so mad. "Ah, uhm... work," he told her, since he didn't have anything to hide... Though, he quickly noticed her eyes were wet. Had she been... crying?... Was this anger coming from worry? He recalled that maybe a similar thing happened with her family, and guessed anxiety about that sort of thing probably never went away. His expression grew more regretful than puzzled, realizing he should have left something behind to tell her... "Ah-... Ayumi, I'm so sorry," he apologized, stepping closer to hug her tightly. He felt so bad now... It may seem irrational to people on the outside, but so much had happened to her... He could only imagine how scared and anxious he had left her... "I wasn't thinking... It won't happen again, I promise..," he assured her, referring to leaving her clueless about where he was and, probably more important, when he was due home.

Ayumi was about to rip into him for not leaving her a note when he just answered where he had been. But, he caught onto the root of her anger before she was able to yell at him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as he hugged her. She had been terrified that he was dead, so the contact and warmth served as a good way to tell herself: 'See? He's here... he's fine.' She choked down a sob, a result of emotions overflowing. "O...okay," she choked out, resulting in another hiccuping sob escaping. It was all she could ask for, that he kept her in the loop of where he was... even if she really didn't have any right to know.

Yoshiki felt more guilt at her strained voice, holding her tighter at her sob. He really didn't mean it... but he felt horrible for putting her through hours of terrible fear and anxiety. He was unsure of when she had woken up, but he guessed it had been hours. "I'm so sorry...," he repeated, despite the fact that her anger seemed gone. He didn't like to cause her pain, and it couldn't have been so easily avoided if he had just left a note... Compared to how much he cared for her, he counted himself incredibly insensitive to what she had been through and the anxieties that caused.

Ayumi was aware she shouldn't let herself get so horribly worked up over something that was a harmless mistake. She felt a little bad she approached him with such anger at first... She rested her head against his chest as she got control over her breathing and voice, the sobs dying away as his grip on her comforted her. "It's okay... It was an easy mistake," she said quietly, getting a hold of herself. After all, them actually being roommates was sort of new, despite it being years in the making.

Yoshiki shook his head before settling against hers, not letting himself off the hook just yet. His hand went to the back of her head, cradling her closer. "No, I... I should have thought of it... It was inconsiderate of me," he insisted, since he really should have thought about her worries. After all, it was a very prominent, traumatic event for her, and he had tried to help during that time as much as a friend possibly could. He should have remembered...

The horrible anxiety fueled hours felt pretty stupid and pointless. In the end, Ayumi was just glad he was home. She had pictured so many horrible things that could have happened... If Yoshiki was gone, she had no idea what she would do with herself. Even just trying to think out the situation hurt her head and chest too much. All that mattered was that he was home. "Don't beat yourself up..." she said, voice muffled against him. "Just... don't disappear like that again, okay?"

Yoshiki still wasn't pleased with himself... but torturing himself over guilt while Ayumi insisted it was okay seemed pointless. He nodded lightly, but still wasn't letting go of her. "Okay... I promise," he told her again, attempting to turn his guilt into determination. He never wanted to leave her like that again... so maybe it'd be easier to turn into a habit.

Ayumi made a small noise of acknowledgement at his promise. She trusted that he wouldn't make the same slip-up twice. She felt a small blush creep onto her face as their hug didn't break... She wasn't really sure where they stood right now. She didn't want to bring up his confession, since even if he had said it to her, she had been unconscious, and it didn't feel particularly right to pull it out. It was certainly beginning to feel like they were a couple with all the contact going on. She felt much calmer now, a level of exhaustion coming over her. Between not eating since she woke up yesterday and the panic she had been going through, she felt spent.

Yoshiki didn't particularly want to let go of her, since it sort of comforted him as well. But, it had to be done, since his hunger and fatigue were making themselves painfully apparent. He gave one last sigh before separating from her. "Ah... Uhm, you want something to eat?" he asked, pushing the prior emotional turmoil aside. He guessed they still weren't discussing where they stood... Which was fine, he guessed... It wasn't too urgent of a problem, and could be saved for when she became more accustomed to living here. Basically, wait for her to find her ground and see what she wanted to do with herself now.

Ayumi released her grip on him as she felt his own wane. It had to be done, so she didn't mind too much... She was hoping he'd be fine with her staying with him again tonight, so it wasn't like they'd be separated long. A small smile crossed her face at the mention of food. She hadn't even considered it when she had been going through her panic. Now, she was certainly ready to eat something. "That sounds good," she admitted, hungry enough to eat about anything. Hah... she really hadn't eaten anything for years, had she? It was a weird thought. All her meals had been through a tube.

Yoshiki gave a small nod. It was probably pretty good to eat when you technically hadn't in so long... He sort of felt like he should make something special, but it wasn't like he had the ingredients for it... Oh well, Ayumi wouldn't be picky, he knew... His head just chastised him for not being prepared for some celebration... "Alright... I'll try to make something fast, so we can go to bed," he told her, noticing she also looked pretty run down. Last night had definitely done them no favors... It'd be nice to get to bed earlier than five this time around.

* * *

It had taken Ayumi a couple days to calculate what she was almost sure she owed Yoshiki. It was difficult to guess in some areas how much she had cost him over three years, and she hated the idea she was overlooking anything. Also, she had to look up how much people were paid for that type of care, because it only seemed right she addressed the time he spent on her as a job, since it had been. In the end, she was pretty confident in the amount she was writing. She may have rounded some things up, but she'd much rather give him more than less. She was in her room writing out the check. It was funny even trying to think of it as her room, when she found herself spending more time in Yoshiki's room. She shook the small thought off as she wrote the amount in. She frowned lightly, eyes narrowing as her nervousness bubbled in her stomach. She didn't want this to result in any sort of argument, but it wasn't something she wanted to put off. She grabbed the piece of paper, tugging it out gently. She stepped up to her door, opening it quietly... She let out a shaky sigh as she went down the hallway to find Yoshiki."Here, take this," she said in a commanding tone as she held up the paper. She wasn't sure how else to do it, then be blunt.

Yoshiki was having a small drink in the kitchen. He didn't have to go to work until a few hours, though he was already feeling that dread of going. He looked at Ayumi as she came through the hall, about to just throw out a casual 'hey', but before he could, he spotted the paper in her hand. His eyes narrowed at it, quickly recognizing it as a check. His grimaced lightly, glancing back up at Ayumi. He sighed, turning to lean on the counter as his eyes met Ayumi's. "I can't. I don't want anything in return for helping you... That's not what I did it for," he told her adamantly, not making any movement to take the paper.

Ayumi's eyes narrowed as a frown tugged down on her lips. She knew he wouldn't make this easy, but she had still hoped he would accept it without fuss. "I know that's not why you did it! But... you still lost a lot of time and money, and have nothing to show for it," Ayumi said with a leveled stare. He could have been close to getting a full degree at this point, instead of being forced to work multiple jobs."Plus, you put out so much money to take care of me, it only feels right to pay you back," she added, insistent he take this check. He deserved the money, and it was the only thing she could do to begin to repay him for saving her.

Yoshiki gave her a strange look at her first comment. Yes, time and money had been spent... but he definitely had something to show for it. "I have you... That's all I intended to get back," he insisted, but doubted she'd listen to him anytime soon... Which meant this would take a while, until one of them got fed up enough. He wished they weren't both so stubborn... He gave a sigh as she kept on with the idea. He just couldn't take her money... She'd probably need it, if she was going to start a life separate from him anyways. "It wasn't a job, Ayumi, I volunteered... You know, for free? Because I care... I don't mind anything I lost. It's not like I'm dirt poor, so don't feel like you have to pay me," he told her adamantly.

"I'm not a charity case. It isn't fair that you lost all that money because of me," Ayumi said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She hated how stubborn he could be. "I don't care if you don't care you spent that money. I owe it to you," she said sharply, refusing to back down on the idea. With all the costs surrounding her, involving him moving to a new apartment, she knew that had to of put a huge strain on him. Even if he chose to take the burden on himself, now that she was back to could begin to try and help him in at least a fraction of the way he helped her.

Yoshiki looked away from her, searching his brain for a way to make her back down from this whole 'owing' thing... But, of course, nothing was coming up. He just shook his head, closing his eyes as a slight frustration bubbled up. Well... he wasn't angry with her, just... he didn't want money for what he did. He wouldn't... couldn't accept it. "You don't owe me anything, especially money. If you're gonna start over, you'll need every penny of what's written on that check, anyways," he told her without looking back at her, his hand holding his cup anxiously. "... Regardless, I'm not taking that," he finished, shutting down the argument... or, whatever that was. She couldn't force it on him, and he definitely wouldn't be swayed by her words, so he saw no point in further trying to persuade her differently.

Ayumi felt rage boil in her stomach. Even going in knowing this was likely to be the outcome didn't dull the frustration inside of her. Unfortunately, he was at an easier place to get what he wanted out of this dispute by simply not taking the money. There was no way to just force it on him, even though that's what she desperately wanted to do. "I have plenty of money, that's not a problem!" she snapped at him, unwilling to just let this end. "Why are you being so stubborn about this?" she asked, unable to understand why he didn't take it. After everything he did for her, couldn't he let her do this one thing?

Yoshiki mentally cursed as she kept going, even though it had honestly been obvious that that's how this would go... He leaned onto the palm of his hand, his eyes glancing away, slightly narrowed. "Because I don't want it. Why are you being so stubborn when I've already said no?" he asked back, but didn't allow long enough for her to answer before he elaborated on his, "I don't want anything for helping you. You coming back is enough... Besides that, getting something like this... It makes everything I've done feel different... It's hard to explain, but... I won't take it... I did it for you, nothing else... Because you didn't have anybody else, and... you're everything to me... Of course I wouldn't shove you in some hospital and just go on!"

Ayumi was hit with the conflicting feelings of wanting to try to even the ground they were on with each other and appreciating how determined he had been to care for her, just because he cared. Her cheeks had a light blush on them, but a frown was still unwavering. "I feel like all I've done is take from you, Yoshiki. You had to stop going to school because of me... You had to put out so much money between affording this apartment and basic living expenses... You could be at a much better and more comfortable place in life if I had been able to handle my feelings better. I appreciate everything you've done and sacrificed for me, and I want to be able to do something for you," she said quietly, eyes focused on the ground ahead of her as her hand clutched the paper check.

Yoshiki's eyes glanced at her, but only for a moment before moving back to the opposite wall. He got why she felt obligated... but if he said no, there was nothing she could really do about that... "I get that, but... it's not like giving me this will change the past or anything... If you feel like you owe me so bad, find another way, 'cos I'm not taking what they left you... I didn't mean for this to feel like some sort of debt," he told her sternly.

Ayumi grimaced in mention of where the money came from. It wasn't like she held great sentimental value to it. She could look at it as her family still taking care of her, but it felt more like spending their blood to her. She let out an annoyed sigh, trying to alleviate the pressure building inside of her. "This isa debt! Even if it won't change the past, it can help with your future. You shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes," she said sharply. She couldn't let this go, and the idea he was going to stand his ground was driving her crazy. Money seemed like the most logical way to literally pay him back for the money and time he had to put out.

"I'm not letting you pay me, period!" Yoshiki said with a slightly raised voice, already getting fed up with the situation. He sighed to get rid of some of the bubbling irritation inside him before standing, going around her to the bathroom, where she couldn't find him. He did have to start getting ready for work... but it was more or less an excuse to get out of the conversation. Neither would listen to the other, and it wouldn't change, which meant he already won the entire thing by default. After all, the decision only laid with him on whether or not to deposit or take the money. Maybe it was a little mean... to refuse to let her pay him back... but, he just didn't feel like he should. He had just wanted her back... He would've done anything for her to have another chance at life. Anything... and getting her back fulfilled any wish or want he had. He didn't need or want her patronage...

Ayumi's eyes widened, startled by raised finishing words. She was stunned for a moment, which was long enough for him to get away from her and get the final word. Her blood felt like it was on fire, and her mind fogged with rage. It wasn't fair that he was denying the one thing she could do for him, after the years and money he put out for her. The walls of the apartment felt like they were closing in, and she had to get out. She shoved the now crinkled check into her skirt pocket and bee-lined for the door. She hadn't been outside since she woke up, but since the three years had felt like mere hours, it wasn't something she had been particularly avoiding. She shut the door quietly behind her and headed out of the apartment complex. She just needed to try and clear her head, which felt like angry wasps were buzzing in it. He was so fucking stubborn! She just wanted to punch him sometimes! She owed him the money! She had been a useless roommate for years and the time he sunk into her probably amounted in enough money to have made it through college and some. Of course she felt obligated to give himsomething! Would it really hurt his pride so much to just take the damn check?! She let out a frustrated sigh, eyes narrowed on the horizon ahead of her.

Yoshiki had finished getting ready after a little bit. He had felt a bit guilty of course, especially after he found that she had left, but it couldn't really be helped. Their ideas conflicted greatly... She felt like she had some sort of obligation, even though it wasn't like she had arranged for him to help her. All he had wanted to do was help her when she needed it most... Of course he didn't want anything in return! He sighed lightly, fastening the third-to-last button on his uniform. He hated uniforms... which was one of the reasons he liked his music store job better than the super market one... Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Despite a still lingering agitation inside him from their argument, he remembered to jot down a small note and lay it on the counter for when she came back. He walked out the door and locked it, thankful he had gotten her a key made the day before. He didn't like to leave his apartment wide open, so it was good she had a way in besides just leaving it unlocked. He left in a small hurry, pushing back the stormy thoughts of the check business. Maybe it'd cool down later... or not... It could result in her moving out... which just the thought hurt him a lot, especially with their close behavior lately. He hoped that wouldn't be the case... but if it did end up that way, he couldn't stop her. And who knows, maybe it's best she go out and live on her own...

* * *

The sun was setting by the time she decided to head home. Ayumi wasn't so sure the walk had helped, but it did manage to make her feel exhausted. She unlocked the apartment door, coming into the empty space. She re-locked the door before moving to the counter to read over his note. She frowned, pulling the check out of her pocket to stare at it. There was absolutely no way to get him to accept this, was there? But, how else could she shake off this feeling of being indebted to him? There was a sinking stomach in her feeling that refused to leave. She's heard of money ruining relationships before, which she had always believed was a stupid reason to let things fall apart. She was pretty sure she might understand how such events ended up unfolding now... She took a shower and made herself a simple sandwich before retiring to bed early. The walk had taken more out of her than it should, and her general frustration and uncertainty was making her sick. Why couldn't he just take the damn money? She crawled into her recently unused bed, letting out a frustrated groan. This shouldn't be an issue! They faced a haunted school together for heaven's sake! She hated sleeping alone now. His absence was horribly present in her mind as she hugged a pillow in a futile way to try and replace him. She didn't know what to do, but her eye lids felt heavy enough that sleep eventually came to her frantic mind.


	10. Chapter 10

Yoshiki sat quietly on the couch, barely being able to breath through the high tension. It had been like this since that whole money thing, around five days ago... His heart felt incredibly heavy, ever since she started sleeping on her own again, the start of their cold interactions. A day or so ago, it had actually started physically hurting... His chest would tighten, and if he breathed too deeply, there was a sharp ache inside. Of course, he wouldn't come crawling to Ayumi, trying to gain pity or win her over with some stupid 'woe is me' speech. He had done this himself, he was well aware of that. But he... still wouldn't take money for those three years. It didn't sit right with him, and it never would.

So... it felt like they only got further apart, over something that seemed so trivial sometimes. He could feel a looming dread in how Ayumi carried herself the last two days... He had an awful premonition about what was rumbling towards him. Even if that was the case... he wanted some way to find out... He didn't want it to blind side him... it would only make it worse... So he had to use some vague question... to find out what she planned on doing... He took a small, quiet breath, trying to shake any nervousness, fear, or pain from his voice. "Are you... wanting to keep that key? You don't have to or anything, but ya know... just thought I'd offer it... You never know, you might need it...," he mentioned, trying to manage a casual demeanor about it, even though he was crumbling with anxiousness on the inside. His eyes were cast in the direction of the window, peering down at the traffic that was illuminated by the orange glow of the setting sun.

Ayumi had been fixing herself a cup of tea to try to settle her unyielding jittery nerves when she heard Yoshiki start to talk. The two had been carrying so few conversations that his voice instantly drew her full attention. At the question, she felt herself winded as if she had been hit in the stomach. Why... was this coming up? Did he want her to leave? Not that she could particularly blame him with the atmosphere going on, but still, she hadn't been expecting a question of this nature. She swallowed thickly, trying to regain her composure for an answer she hadn't considered in-depth. Was it time for her to go? She had wondered to herself if she had let herself get too attached and dependent on Yoshiki... "I, uh, haven't really thought about that," she admitted with a small shrug. What was she supposed to say? The only reason she'd need the key if she was living here... With the way things are now and how awful this all felt... "I probably... won't be needing it much longer," she answered quietly as she stirred some sugar into her tea. Her stomach wrenched horribly from just saying it, but it seemed to be the only way out of this. Neither of them were backing down from their positions, and this type of environment was not fun to live in.

Yoshiki had to bite back any noises that threatened to surface at her answer. The confirmation... was like something stabbed into him, and was tearing him apart... It really hurt, he almost let a sharp breath slip, but he was able to keep leveled. Though, it took him a moment to compose himself before he was confident enough to answer, without his voice wavering. "... I see... I thought so, it's just... I wanted to make sure... and give you the option to...," his voice trailed off quietly, his eyes keeping to the side. He was afraid that if he looked at her, he'd just break down, so he didn't even risk a glance. The irrational, emotional side of him was asking if she wanted to repay him so badly, why was she taking away the only thing he said he wanted?!... Though, he knew better than to say something like that. It wasn't fair to say... If she didn't... love him, it wasn't like she could just change her feelings, and he definitely didn't want to guilt her into anything... Now that this was going on, he guessed that those times they were so close... and warm... was just some dependence left over after these three years. It didn't mean anything past that... but it still made this hurt even worse...

Ayumi's fingers curled around the handle of her cup. Her eyes centered on the steaming tea as she tried to keep herself indifferent despite the massive aching in her chest. She didn't want this at all. She didn't want to separate and find some place to live where she would be completely alone. Despite all the resistance inside of her, she was still letting this unfold this way. She let out a small sigh. Had she been expecting him to ask her not to go? He loved her... right? But, she was the one insisting on this, so perhaps he felt he had to let her go if she wanted to leave. She didn't though! She took a sip of her cooled down tea, the bitterness of taste and warmth in her stomach didn't alleviate her pains. She looked over to him, not helping the maelstrom spiraling in her head. "Right... thanks..." she muttered when she realized she should probably respond. This meant... she had to actually start looking for her own place. She wasn't even so sure how to do that.

Yoshiki went quiet, not able to mutter the familiar 'no problem'. He didn't know why... he had been expecting some argument. The atmosphere itself was evidence she was serious about leaving. His mind bogged down as he tried to think of some way out of this, or just a way to simply alleviate the emotions crushing him. He had never really... considered this happening when he had been waiting for her to wake up... His heart sunk further as he thought about the distance, both figurative and physically, that would be put between them... Would they... even be friends anymore? This all hurt so much... but there was nothing he could do about it... He just sat quietly, staring out the window.

* * *

Yoshiki felt only dread the past few days. Ayumi was looking for a place, and once she found one... that was it. He sighed miserably, jotting down a small note on the counter. Ayumi was out... but even if she had been home, he had already developed a little bit of a habit with these notes. He wrote down 'Work: 3 pm - 11-11:30 pm', and put the pencil down, carrying on out the door and locking it shut. He often worked closing for work, so the late hour was nothing new to him... It was just another day, with depression over Ayumi mixed in.

* * *

Yoshiki walked out of the dark store after glancing to a digital clock, reading the time to be almost eleven. He should get there before the thirty mark, probably with time to spare. He turned and locked the store door, tugging at it to make sure shut tight. With a small nod, he turned and shoved the key into his pocket. He began the walk home. When he had first started working closings, he had been pretty anxious traversing the night streets. Now, it was all just part of the routine, and he was pretty familiar with the path. It just felt like walking during the day time, so he didn't really get nervous.

Though, on one of the more desolate roads, he heard the faint sound of footsteps behind him. These places could have another person on them, but they were generally empty, so he chose to be on guard a little. He pulled his hand from his pocket to adjust his jacket collar as a cold wind blew through. In a split second, the steps behind him became rushed, and he instantly felt more on edge. He felt someone ram him, trying to take anything he could grab at. But, he had been prepared to react. He grabbed the man's jacket sleeve, about to make a move to hit him, but there was one thing he hadn't thought about.

The robber looked wide-eyed with panic as he was grabbed, his eyes red and clothes a bit run down. His breaths were uneven, and being caught terrified him. His other hand whipped out shakily, pulling the trigger. With fear, he had unloaded all the rounds, but only a few hit their mark. As soon as Yoshiki released him, he fled, startled with what he had just done and afraid someone heard.

The pain... was blinding... It could hardly be described. At first, he hadn't really known what had happened, but the hot pain hadn't been lagging too far behind. He staggered slightly, his side hitting against the wall so he could better hold himself up. His hand tightly held his side, though that was only one of the few places that had been hit. His mind was foggy, and he could practically feel the energy seeping out of him. His breaths came out ragged as his vision blurred, but strangely, all his mind could really think about was the time. What time was it?... Maybe... around eleven twenty... He was... going to be late...

His eyes were somewhat sightless as he pushed forward, using the wall for support. Ayumi... He couldn't... let her worry... His dizziness was increasing, but his mind kept urging him, not really giving any rational thought. Once the wall ran out, though, on the next street's corner, all balance was lost, and he fell onto his side with a small thud. His vision darkened, and the sound of someone talking was more like a far off echo in his head. His eyes darkened as he began to slip into unconsciousness, his breaths fading to soft and labored. He felt as if he had been sucked into the darkness... and was fearful that he may not make it out... but Ayumi... He didn't want her... to be alone...

* * *

Ayumi didn't like the process of looking for a new apartment. The entire thing was put a sharp blade in her gut as prices and location were discussed. She found a decent one bedroom apartment that was a couple blocks from a park that didn't seem bad. The only problem was... the fact she'd even have to move in. She came back to the apartment in the early evening with a lunchbox from a local convenience store. She wasn't surprised to find the apartment empty, since Yoshiki worked everyday, it seemed. She picked up the note, reading it with a small frown as she remembered the night he promised he'd keep up with them. "Is this really the right course of action?" she asked herself with hooded eyes. Neither of them had made any move in an attempt to stop it. It was selfish of her, wasn't it? To hope he'd ask her to say, so she could just crumple in the idea. But, it still left that big problem at the root of all this. She was indebted to him, and he wouldn't accept her check. She let out a heavy sigh as she leaned back. If she moved out, was their relationship over? Because... she wasn't sure she could handle being completely alone...

Around eleven o' clock Ayumi was debating if she should go into her room or not. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see him or not, now that she was seriously considering putting an offer on a place. She was still holding off on giving the check over to the woman, though. She got up and grabbed a sketchbook along with some pencils as she sat down on the couch. She felt constantly near tears nowadays with this divide between the two of them. Maybe she should actually try talking to him when he got home, but that was guaranteed to turn into another fight over him not accepting her check. She'd see what happened when he got him, since he should be back at any point.

Ayumi's eyes kept flicking to the ticking clock on the wall as she watched it crawl towards the half-an-hour mark. It wasn't unusual that he got out of work a little later, depending on how quickly he got to close the store down. Even a couple minutes after 11:30, she was able to keep herself calm, but once midnight rolled around she found herself spiraling into a nervous wreck. 'This isn't right...' she thought as her heart seized. Her entire world shifted as she tried to talk herself down, but it didn't work. This had to mean something happened.

She grabbed her recently bought cellphone and dialed the number to the store Yoshiki was working tonight. Maybe he got caught there or something... The phone rang and rang, and then she got some prerecorded woman's voice listing off the hours of the store and that she should call back during normal working hours. If Yoshiki wasn't at work and still wasn't home that meant something happened to him on the way. She wouldn't be contacted though, right? Because an unconscious person can't be listed as someone's emergency contact. Her breathing was frantic as she rushed to the computer to look up close by hospitals. Tears were spilling quickly as trembling fingers tried to type the number into her phone. She would have tried the police, but they'd tell her she'd have to wait twenty-four hours... not half-an-hour. She jumped lightly as she heard someone pick up and ask her business.

"Hello, i'm wondering if you have a patient under the name Kishinuma Yoshiki," Ayumi said, her voice coming out shaky with the fear of what the answer may hold. She waited with held breath as the woman shuffled around in search of the information.

"Let's see... yes, we do," the woman responded neutrally.

Ayumi's hand shot to her mouth as she tried to stifle a sob at the information. "W-what is he in-"

"Listen, sweetie, i'm really sorry but we can't disclose anymore information unless you're family,"the woman explained gently.

Ayumi cringed as she wasn't given the information if he had broken a bone or was dying. She quickly thanked the woman, since she made it clear she couldn't help her any further. She shut her cellphone, trying to take a deep sigh that just erupted into loud sobs. She stumbled to her feet, finding her sweatshirt and pulling it over her head. She grabbed her bag after throwing her cell phone in it. She took a glance over at the computer, confirming the location of the hospital. She couldn't stand to stay in the computer knowing nothing about what was happening to Yoshiki. Her entire body was shaking as she rushed out the door. She halted, pulling out the key as she went to lock it. The sight of the metal made her stomach twist as she was reminded of the stupid idea of moving out. She locked the door, threw the key in her purse, and ran. The hospital had been blocks away, and her still weak body was aching with all the physical work it had just been put through. She was holding back horrible sobs that managed to tear out of her. Yoshiki can't be dead! He can't die like this! Her pace slowed as she entered the ER, walking over to the counter to try and talk to the women. She was once again informed she wasn't allowed to get any information. It was tempting to try lying and saying she was his sister, but they would ask for ID which would clearly read 'Shinozaki'.

A nurse gave her directions to a waiting room as Ayumi made it clear she wasn't leaving uninformed. She headed in the direction, fine with not having to sit among the blood and sick waiting for quick admittance. The entire atmosphere of the waiting room was sickening as the fear of death hung heavy in the air. She found a chair to sit in off in the corner as she cried quietly to herself. 'Please be okay, Yoshiki. Please, don't die. I still need you...' she thought as she gave up trying to wipe tears away on the sleeve of her hoodie. She watched with hollow eyes as people continued on as they were, and all she could do was helplessly wait for something.

* * *

Yoshiki was unsure how long everything had just been dark, and he had no real control over where his thoughts went. On multiple occasions, he'd wonder things like if he was dead, or if Ayumi was okay. And other times... he felt his mind waver, and he'd began to fade even more. Dead... or... dying?..., he'd think, his mind sluggish. But, his thoughts would come rushing back as he worried over how Ayumi would do. She was so clingy lately... If he died... she'd be all alone. Satoshi and Naomi... were across the country... they couldn't help her like he could. So, his will clung to what he could best perceive as life...

Eventually, his thoughts ceased, and things just went by... Like, sleep... his mind started to jolt to life, his eyes opening slowly, met with bright light. Did I... lose? he wondered, but his vision started to adjust to the daylight, and began to make out the figure of a girl. The muffled voice gave him the impression that it was Miki, but he couldn't really tell what she was saying. So... he was okay? Ayumi... wouldn't have to be alone... His mind that had been worriedly grasping for consciousness faded again with the comfort that Ayumi wouldn't have to be alone... His vision blurred again, his awareness slipping away once more...

* * *

The night had passed in a painful crawl as Ayumi waited for the ability to see him. It wasn't fair that she had to be blood related or married to get any of this information. She lived with him for three years... They had been through a lot of awful things together. 'And you were still willing to leave him,' she mentally chided herself with a glare at the opposite wall. She was an idiot. She should have never even considered moving out, and she shouldn't have turned cold when Yoshiki didn't accept her check. He was everything to her now, and she was going to walk away for such a pitiful reason. She didn't get a moment of sleep that night as the fear he was dead clawed at her heart. She stirred in her thoughts until the sun's glow reflected through the hospital's window.

"Uh, you're Shinozaki Ayumi, right?" a voice suddenly asked her.

Ayumi looked in the direction of the voice, seeing Kishinuma Miki standing in front of her with concerned eyes. "Y-yeah, I am," Ayumi answered slowly, feeling stunned. She had never met anyone in Yoshiki's family before. She could definitely tell the two were related by first glance. While they had the same shade of black hair, it was their eyes that shared the greatest resemblance. Sharp gray eyes.

"Well, it's nice to actually meet you. I'm Miki, Yoshiki's little sister," Miki responded with a small smile. Ayumi was confused at first, but she quickly figured out that Miki had probably seen her when she had been unconscious.

"It's nice to meet you too..." Ayumi said out of reaction. Honestly, neither of the girls could be happy to be talking over this series of events. The fact Miki wasn't a sobbing mess like her gave her hope, even if the younger girl's eyes were bloodshot. "So, how is Yoshiki doing? W-what even happened?" Ayumi asked quickly, since she felt like she was dying for the information.

"You don't know?" Miki asked with wide eyes, surprised.

"They wouldn't tell me anything because i'm not family," Ayumi explained briefly, wanting to get onto what happened to Yoshiki.

"Some druggie tried to mug him on his way home from work. He was twitching out, and I guess Yoshiki put up a fight or something. The druggie ended up firing, and Yoshiki was hit quite a few times," Miki said with a deep frown. She seemed to be keeping herself very well composed, though. "The guy was caught a few blocks down, thankfully. Also, Yoshiki is now stable. Some of the bullets went clear through, but they did have to bring him into surgery to get rid of the ones that didn't. Plus, there was a ton of bleeding... He's still being watched carefully, but the doctor says he's a young guy who'll recover fine," Miki informed her with a light smile.

Ayumi felt another wave of tears surfacing, but she bit back on them in Miki's presence. "That's-" she began to say but fell speechless. Yoshiki would be okay... it was hard to wrap her head around after telling herself he was dead all night. "Thank you, Miki," she said with a small nod.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry it took so long for you to get informed... I would've come around. Oh! Yeah, you can go to his room if you want. It's down the hall... 110A. I have to go to school, and my parents are at work... It'll be nice for someone to be around when he wakes up," Miki said as she pushed some black hair behind her ear.

Ayumi smiled lightly at the younger girl. "Great... I'll go stay with him, then." Miki nodded, happy to hear that her brother would have her company. The two said a brief goodbye, and Ayumi followed the directions given. She approached the door, and her hand hesitated as it went up to push it open. With a shaky breath she entered the room to see an unconscious Yoshiki. The only sound in the room was the light beeping of his heart monitor. The tears she had forced down in Miki's presence slipped out at the visible heartbeat. She slowly approached his bedside, brow furrowed as she absorbed his appearance. He looked roughed up and exhausted. "Yoshiki..." she choked out, afraid to even touch him despite how badly she wanted to. "God, i'm such an idiot..." she berated herself as she sat in the chair positioned by the bed. To be so willing to give him up... She was pissed at herself for her poor, stubborn behavior. Her eyes shifted to his hand resting over the blanket. She was still nervous about touching him, but she needed to feel his warm hand to further convince herself he'd be fine. She moved her hand, gently resting it over his. Her eyes felt incredible heavy from pulling an all-nighter, but she refused to fall asleep. She wanted to be there when he woke up.

Yoshiki was more like in a dream now, instead of a blank void. Somewhere during his sleep, he muttered quietly, "I won't... let... be alone." Some words were inaudible in the slightly slurred speech. Eventually, after some time unconscious, his eyes began to open slowly again. Though, before he could even make out anything from the bright light, he noticed a warmth on his hand. He wasn't sure, but... he wanted it to be Ayumi... His hand turned over, tightly holding the hand over his. Shortly after, his vision focused, and the shine returned to his eyes.

His eyes moved to look around the room, but settled when they spotted Ayumi. It was her... Breathing hurt a little in his side, but he hardly was even giving that any attention. Surprisingly, he only thought of how she was and felt guilty about making her worry. "Ayu... mi," he got out slowly, though he still wasn't used to the small ache it gave him, so he couldn't say much more. He wanted to apologize though... He couldn't even imagine the panic he left her in... Though, most would think it was stupid to worry over such a thing after being shot...

Ayumi sat quietly with her thoughts, concentrating on the warmth coming off his hand. She became alert when he began to slur some words in his sleep, and her heart jumped. He was... talking about her, right? She wasn't sure it was an assumption she could make, but after the loyalty he's shown to her in the past three years, she had to guess he was talking about her. It left her red faced and inwardly seething at herself. Not even a month back, and she was going to leave...

Her mental ranting frazzled when she felt his hand moved. She became more alert as she watched him with held breath. Seeing him open his eyes and the life in them was a shock of relief. She smiled softly as he said her name, emotions overwhelming her. She had convinced herself last night that he was dead with Mayu, Seiko, Sakutaro, Ms. Yui, her mom, her dad, and Hinoe. She had been terrified she had lost another person dear to her... a person whom she loves. "Yoshiki," she said, having so much to say and not even knowing where to start. "I'm so sorry..."

Yoshiki smiled slightly in response to his name. For some reason, even with these past events, he had been expecting a more cold response... But of course it wouldn't go like that. He stared at her for a second, unsure of what her apology was for... Since his lagging brain couldn't find the answer, he chose to skip it for his own apology. His grip on her hand tightened, and his eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm sorry... for leaving you by yourself," he forced out, finding it strangely hard to talk, but he wouldn't ignore Ayumi. He never could...

His smile lifted some more of the weight off Ayumi's shoulder. He was really going to come out of this okay... She blinked slowly as he put forward his own apology. She stared at him, noticing the visible pain he seemed to be in as he talked. She would wait to talk more in-depth about the things she had been avoiding until he was at home, able to talk with no problem. "You don't have to apologize for that," she said, shaking her head lightly. "It isn't like you chose... this..." She found it hard to actually say 'to get shot' or 'not come home.' While all this had been incredibly stressful and terrifying, she didn't care about that detail now that he was okay.

Yoshiki glanced to the side, towards the window. Even if that was true... he was the only one left for her to turn to... To not come back to her when he's supposed to... It just left a bad feeling. "Still...," he muttered, but his voice didn't get farther than that. Well, it wasn't like he could explain in a way that she'd understand... Just like with the money.

Ayumi looked at him curiously as his gaze averted to the window. He never seemed to look at her anymore... He was always watching a window. Her hand tightened around his, the first contact they've had since the whole money argument went up in flames. "Don't worry about it," she said simply, "I'm just glad... you're okay." She was glad he was alive... That a stupid drug-addicted street rat didn't steal him away from her on the off chance he had money in his wallet.

Yoshiki smiled softly, his hand's grip tightening at her voice. His unreasonable guilt wasn't settled really, but it was nice... to hear that she cared. Well, of course she would, they were close friends that had went through a lot... Just hearing it was different. "I didn't... want to leave you by yourself," he told her. Some things were a little fuzzy... but he could remember that that was his drive for clinging to life. After all, Ayumi was practically his whole life... and now, if he died, she wouldn't have anyone else... and he couldn't let that happen.

Ayumi watched him closely as she digested what he said. So what he had been mumbling in his sleep... it was about her. It was true that Yoshiki was the only link she really had left. Yes, Naomi and Satoshi were her friends... but she felt nowhere near as connected to them as she did with Yoshiki. Plus, they were scattered across the country. He was right here, holding her hand. She smiled softly, letting out a shaky breath. "Thank you..." she said in a whisper. She didn't know what would have happened if he didn't pull through. She didn't want to think too hard about it.

Yoshiki kept his small smile, making a small hum to knowledge her thanks. He would've said it wasn't necessary... but not only was he still tired, she probably would say thanks anyways. His eyes felt heavy still, though he still wanted to talk to Ayumi... Though, fainting and being unconscious weren't exactly the same as sleep, so he felt pretty drained... Despite his best efforts to keep his awareness, his eye lids felt heavy as exhaustion took over, and led him to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Yoshiki's recovery time took longer than Ayumi initially expected. She guessed it only made sense, considering how bad some of the bullet wounds were and how many there were. She found the empty apartment much more lonely than as opposed to when Yoshiki was just at work. Maybe it was the knowledge he wasn't coming back for quite a while or that she never liked sleeping with no one else around. She tried to spend most of her time at the hospital, even if the two hadn't touched any of their issues with a ten-foot pole. It was nice to just sit and watch some crappy daytime TV or just draw quietly. She just liked his company.

She was glad that the day for his release was finally around. She couldn't stand a quiet apartment any longer. Although... there was still the matter of her moving out hanging over her head. She didn't want to, but she needed to figure out where Yoshiki even stood on that. Her desire to pay him back had shifted. She accepted he would never accept a check. That's why she decided she'd just pay him back over a lifetime, if she got the chance. Although, when she came to the front desk on the day of his release, she asked how much his bill would cost. She promptly wrote a check and left. It was honestly a small thing at this point... Money wasn't the key to paying him back. She had been foolish and bullheaded before, but she was almost sure her head was right on her shoulders now.

Ayumi opened the door to the apartment, stepping in with a quick glance over the place. She wished she had thought to have cleaned it a little more thoroughly... she did a haphazard vacuuming this morning before heading to the hospital, but it could use a good clean down. "So, do you want anything to eat?" she asked, figuring she'd toss the offer out to cook something. Living off hospital food probably wasn't fun.

Yoshiki felt like he had been bedridden forever... He had always hated hospitals, so of course he'd get stuck there for over a week... The food was horrible, there was a sick smell in there, though... you sort of got used to that, but still... He didn't like being able to get used to it. It was disgusting... and reminded one that people actually die there. Hell, people probably died in the next room over, and he would be none the wiser. It was just really depressing place... But at least he had Ayumi majority of the time... Though, it only served to make him more confused about where they stood, and what was going to happen in the near future. Would she... still move out?

As they came into the apartment, Yoshiki took in the familiar scent of the house. Though, now it also had Ayumi's smell drifting about... which he couldn't complain about at all. The cleanliness of the place didn't bother him at all. He was just happen to be back to his own house, where he could stay in his own bed and have actual food... He perked up a bit as Ayumi mentioned food, as if she had been reading his mind. He didn't really want to make her do something on his first day back, but... it was tempting... And if she wanted to, why stop her?

He smiled slightly, glancing about the place he had really... kind of missed... Even if it was an apartment, living here for three years made him grow pretty fond of it... Especially when he was getting kind of home sick. "Uh, sure... if you wouldn't mind, I guess," he said somewhat hesitantly, not wanting her to feel like she had to do anything for him... If he was really hungry, he could get something himself, but... he kind of really wanted to see what her cooking was like... It'd be a... really nice thing to get after staying at the hospital for so long.

Ayumi was pleasantly surprised when he agreed to her feeding him. Even if she wasn't a world class chef or anything, she was pretty decent with what dishes she knew to prepare. "It's no problem," she responded as she opened the refrigerator. She had food-shopped yesterday, stocking up the fridge with basics. She didn't know why she kept making herself more at home when the possibility of her leaving was looming over her head... Still, she was happy to give him a full fridge to come home to. "Any specific request?" she asked. She really had the stuff to make any basic dish. Sushi, curry, rice balls, udon, nikujaga... She may have overshopped a little.

Yoshiki walked further in, settling on the couch, and sort of just leaning into it. He could hardly believe how much he had missed everything... He'd surely get some nice rest in his own bed tonight... He gave a small sigh, his eyes closed as he took in the nice smell of home... and Ayumi. He blushed slightly, but the thought of her maybe moving out kept him grounded. His eyes opened to look at her in the kitchen, then shook his head lightly. "Nah... do whatever," he told her with a small wave.

"Alright," Ayumi said in confirmation she heard. Yoshiki wasn't picky by nature, so she wasn't too worried about making something he liked. Plus, considering her food was being sized up to hospital food, her odds looked good. 'Hah... Why do I even care if he likes my cooking?' she asked herself as she began to pull out the necessary pans and pots. Okay, she really did know why, but it was embarrassing to realize how silly she was being. Urgh... they needed to begin addressing these issues... If they were even issues to him. He had said he loved her, but she had been inside her head, and it might not of actually have been something that came out of his mouth... And the reaction of the Yoshiki in her head could've been formed by her perceptions of how he might feel. She pulled out the ingredients, settling on just making a type of curry. She was driving herself crazy. She may be better off asking where they stood, but she was wasn't sure she could be that blunt about this.

Yoshiki let himself lean against the chair, slouched slightly to the side. He let his eyes close, finding much more comfort than he had in the past days at the hospital. He never knew how much he could miss everyday things... now he hardly wanted to leave... ever... Though, his little vacation from work was drawing to a close, and soon, the old routine would start up... maybe with Ayumi absent from it... It hurt a lot, and would probably feel incredibly strange and empty. After all, though she had only really been around for a month or so, he's lived with her for three years...

In the middle of preparing the meal, Ayumi peered over the counter to glance at Yoshiki. She smiled to herself as she moved her eyes back to the work with her hands. She could remember how it felt to kiss him in her dream... Although technically she's never kissed anyone in real life, so who knew how accurate her depiction of it had been. Either way it had been a wonderful feeling. Her smile faltered as she she finished cutting up some vegetables. She wasn't so sure they would ever get to that point. She stole another quick glance of him just relaxing in his own space. She had been waiting for him to confess or make a move regarding all this, but she was beginning to question if that would even happen. She really couldn't blame him... She put the rice in the boiling water and began to cook the sauce, gently dropping the ingredients in to avoid splatter. Things had been so tense, why would he want to try anything like that? Although, there was the chance... something hay-wired in her brain, and he never said that. Even if he had let her sleep with him all those nights, it didn't mean anything. He had taken care of her for so long, of course that wouldn't stop when she woke up. She took a heavy breath, trying to figure out what to do. She had almost lost him once, and she didn't want that to happen again. Since the shooting, she didn't further her search for her own apartment, meaning she probably wouldn't get the one she had been considering. She pulled two plates out, although her own appetite had waned in the midst of her incessant thoughts. She prepared the dishes, trying to shake off everything running through her mind. "It's ready," she called over to him as she placed the curry dish on the counter.

Yoshiki opened his eyes at her voice, taking a moment to register how long he had just laid against the couch. His shook his head lightly to wake himself up from his daze, then pushed off the couch to stand. He walked to the table, eyeing the food. Ah, it looked good... plus, Ayumi had made it, so he'd probably savor it a little. He looked at her with a small smile as he sat. "Thanks for doing this," he said sincerely.

Ayumi was a little nervous about him eating her cooking, and it was annoying her. It wasn't like she'd have the chance to cook for him for much longer if both of them continued to be silent and let the cards fall as they may. She mentally chastised herself for being so negative. At least at this point, she hoped they could just be normal friends again if nothing more. Her cheeks grew warm at his thanks as she sat down as well. "I'm happy to do it," she said with a tiny smile.

Yoshiki gave a small nod, a little unsure what to say past that. He wanted to talk, because the silence made him nervous, but nothing ever came to mind. He ate quietly, savoring the dish, even though if it was made by anyone else, it wouldn't really be all that special. Though, halfway through the meal, he paused, staring at the food. This would be gone when she moved, in a matter of months... The food, her voice, her warmth... Everything. He didn't want to seem clingy, or guilt her into staying, so he had let her do as she wanted. After all, they always say that if you love something, you also have to be able to let go... But as the day she would leave grew closer, he found that he was growing more anxious, scared almost... He didn't want to lose her... but he didn't want to chain her down either... His eyes narrowed, his thoughts and feelings colliding violently inside him. What... was he supposed to do?...

Ayumi slowly began to eat as well, even if she wasn't even hungry. The silence was uncomfortable and just seemed to be final nail in the coffin in confirmation she should really just leave. She felt that her presence was just pulling him down now, even though she wasn't sure why. It wasn't like she wanted to go, but she had no right to stay either. He deserved to have his own space back after she's invaded it for so long... Any attempt on her part to stay would feel like she was guilting him into the situation even longer. She took another bite, chewing slowly as she tried to coerce herself into eating more. Her eyes flickered over to him, seeing him just staring at the food. Actually, glaring would be a more appropriate word. She felt a jolt of nerves reacting as she tried to guess what was happening. "Is something wrong?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Yoshiki was snapped out of his trance at her question, glancing up at her, but quickly adverting his gaze to the side. "Uh... it's nothing...," he said in a small mutter. He still didn't know what to do... Forcing her to stay or trying to talk her out of it seemed too intrusive on her life. If she wanted to... what right did he have to try and make her stay? After all, staying or leaving were too very different lives. She had to only be choosing this because she wanted to try and make it on her own... Then, he had no business telling her otherwise or guilting her into staying... So what then? Exactly what the hell was he supposed to do, when he was scared and panicked on the inside.

Ayumi's gut wrenched as his eyes quickly looked away from her. It was a trend that she couldn't stop noticing. "Are you sure?" she questioned with a sharpness that indicated she didn't believe him. "Are you in pain? Maybe you're not ready to be home yet... Should I call the doctor?" she asked worried that maybe his wounds weren't healed right or that he was let out too early. He had seemed to be doing fine earlier, but these things can always take a bad turn...

Yoshiki shook his head lightly, but still couldn't bring himself to look at her when his sour emotions were the most prominent. "No, no... It's okay, I'm fine...," he insisted, eyes going back to his food as he resumed eating. He definitely didn't want her to leave... but making her stay was selfish...He just wanted her to be happy, so... he wouldn't bring it up.

Ayumi frowned, eyes narrowing at him as she resisted the urge to throw her spoon at him in a fit of frustration. He was so obviously lying, and she couldn't stand it. Plus, his eyes were still busy focusing on everything but her. She couldn't even muster a voice to answer him as her eyes fell to her plate. Why was everything still rotten? Because she was potentially leaving? Or because she was here? She had almost lost her mind, and he almost bled out on the pavement, yet they were still letting things get between them? She forced herself to just eat, even if her stomach made it wildly clear it didn't want it.

Yoshiki sat quietly for the majority of the time, getting more anxious over his thoughts. He was almost done, but had the idea to start a little small talk... Or, really what it was for, to find out how much time he had left... He'd like to know a little before, so he wasn't blind sided by her stuff being in boxes one day. He took a little bit longer to get the courage to break into the bitter the silence. "So... Have any luck with apartments?" he asked, but didn't look up. His heart felt incredibly heavy as he waited for an answer, eating on of the last few bites of the food.

Ayumi couldn't coax herself into eating anymore food, but she also couldn't force herself to get up and head to her room. At his voice, her eyes were drawn to him. It took a moment for her to register the question, but once it was processed she felt what weak walls she had kept around her emotions shatter. Did he want her out that badly? She swallowed thickly, her throat tightening as she realized she _really_ didn't want to go. She hated living alone. She already knew that from the experience of having an empty house to herself after everyone had died. She knew that just from the nights he had spent at the hospital. She felt lost without him. "I..." she choked out, a wave of nausea hitting her. She wanted to stay with Yoshiki. "I don't... want this..." she said quietly, eyes narrowed and sightless as her head reeled. Maybe this was selfish, maybe she should go out and try to survive on her own, and maybe he didn't even want her here. She couldn't just leave this unsaid, letting one of her few relationships crumble because of fear of what could happen when she spoke up.

Yoshiki couldn't help but to look up at her voice. Though it wasn't a finished sentence, there was something about her tone that seemed different. Her demeanor too... At her finished sentenced, his eyes widened, and his mind was instantly scrambled. What? "But I-... Then... why were you going to?" he asked, lost and confused. Why did she act like she was going to then? Why did she put him through such emotional turmoil, when she hadn't even _wanted_ to leave?

Ayumi frowned, struggling to verbalize why it felt like she had to move out. "It feels like... I don't have another option," she admitted shakily, unwilling to look at him now. It wasn't like he had ever told her to stay as long as she want or that they could split rent instead or just something that allowed her to back out of finding her own place. But it wasn't fair for her to expect him to say something like that. Maybe it was supposed to be some unspoken thing she should understand... Either way, she felt like she had backed herself into a corner. She had mentioned moving out when she had been stuck on all that money bullshit, but now it seemed like something they had both accepted. "It's what... I should be doing, isn't it? Building a life for myself... by myself...," she said, eyes remaining on the table.

Yoshiki was only further lost on her answer, trying to think of where she even got that. It also upset him a little that they put themselves through all this for apparently no reason... Now that he knew she didn't want to leave, though, he wanted to try and talk her out of this crazy way of thinking. "Where'd you get that idea?... You don't have to do anything by yourself. You should do what you want," he told her, desperate now to hopefully stop this. He had been afraid of being selfish and chaining her down, but if she didn't want this, he wanted it to be known he didn't either.

Ayumi cringed at the question, unsure how to answer it. "What I want doesn't just affect me, though,"she said, becoming frustrated by her nervousness to try and explain everything. How could she say she was waiting for him to say or do something that made her feel he didn't want her to go. "You deserve to have your own place back, without me intruding," she tried to explain. Besides, if Yoshiki didn't love her like she had convinced herself he did, than she wasn't so sure how easy it would be having him as a roommate.

Yoshiki stared at her, unsure why she thought he didn't like having her around. It was true that he had asked about her leaving... but it was only because he had wanted to know for sure if she was leaving or not. She could have asked what he meant by it or something, instead of going along with it... He hadn't intended it to sound like he was sick of her. "Why am I always deserving of things I don't want?" he questioned, his brows furrowing lightly in frustration.

Ayumi looked up at the question, eyes narrowed slightly. He didn't want her to leave? All this vagueness and stepping around the topic as if they were walking on eggshells was driving her crazy, but she was pretty sure she understood that. "You... don't want me to leave?" she asked quietly, just wanting to hear it flat-out. She had figured this entire time he was ready for her to leave, but it seemed she was just misreading everything lately.

Yoshiki shook his head, though he felt a little guilty that he had maybe... given off the wrong signals? He had just wanted to be prepared for the worst... He guessed he had thought she would've spoken up if he had been wrong. "Of course not! I just meant... to prepare for it, so I wouldn't be blindsided... I never _wanted_ you to leave," he answered. In fact, her leaving had been his greatest fear, and something that had put his mental state in a bad place.

Ayumi let out a heavy breath as the heaviness pressing down on her finally faded into nonexistence. She let out a small breathless laugh, shaking her head. "So all of this stress... was just a result of bad communication," she realized as her fingers pressed some of her bangs back, and her palm of her hand rested on her forehead. The awkward silences, the negative emotions, and everything surrounding it was _pointless_. She almost felt like hitting herself over the head. She should have just said that she didn't want to leave earlier.

Yoshiki sighed at her true statement, slouching against the back of the chair. "Something I excel at... Sorry," he apologized, feeling that his way of finding out what she planned to do had been extremely flawed. If he said things like that, of course she'd feel unwanted... His social skills still needed a lot of work, it seemed... Or maybe tact wasn't something he'd ever learn.

Ayumi was glad that this had been worked out, and the past frustrations and fears felt just stupid now. "It's fine, I should have just been upfront about how I was feeling," she said, although a voice in the back of her head was calling her a hypocrite. Even with the living situation figured, the situation between the two of them was just a big gray space. Well, they were definitely close friends... roommates now too. She was also in love with him, and she had some idea he may be too... So she should just be upfront and save herself more stress, right? Then again, her face was growing red as she thought about asking him about his confession while she had been unconscious or just confessing herself.

Yoshiki fell silent again, but mostly because now he felt silly. All this could have been avoided... Ugh, it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been torturing himself over the worse case scenario, and asking in such a vague fashion. He felt awful about making her feel unwanted... Because it was definitely completely opposite of that. He couldn't even imagine life without her... Which was admittedly a little sad, but it wasn't like he could help it. He ate the last bite of the food, a small blush of embarrassment on his face. Ugh, this was all so stupid... To think, they had wasted weeks being upset over an imaginary problem.


	12. Chapter 12

Ayumi was greatly relieved that the looming idea of her moving out was gone. While things weren't completely back to normal, she would guess everything would smooth out as they got down to a routine. So, when she settled down to bed that night, she figured she'd pass out quickly. Although, 10:30 quickly became 11:30 as she tossed and turned, unable to become comfortable. This was the first night in a while Yoshiki was in the other room and the two were on good terms again. Why was she having difficulty finding sleep? She sat up, glaring at the clock as if time passing was its fault. She had to guess that the matters of her heart needed some addressing as well. She didn't want to go jumping right into that after the two had just become friendly again. It would be better to wait, she decided. She fell back under her covers, pulling them over her head as she squeezed her eyes shut. 'Fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep. Don't think of anything! Just pass out!' she repeated in her head for a while. When she felt no drowsier, she peeked at the clock that said midnight. She gave up.

She crawled out from her bed, hissing some curses under her breath. This was ridiculous. She was never going to find peace, was she? She abandoned her room, glancing at Yoshiki's door as she headed out to the living area. It was tempting to knock on the door... because she felt a desire burn in her blood to see him, but she resisted and moved into the kitchen. He was going back to work tomorrow, wasn't he? She hadn't asked. Still, he was probably exhausted and happy to be back in his own bed, so she didn't want to disturb him. She quietly prepared herself a mug of tea, hoping it may calm her down. With her drink in hand, she walked over to the couch and collapsed against it, resting her tea on a coaster. She stared blankly out into the room, suddenly realizing for the first time they didn't have a TV anywhere in the apartment. What was she supposed to do now? She drank some tea, finding it unhelpful. She stood up from the couch, moving over to peer out the windows of the apartment. Things settled down at night, but she still saw the occasional car drive by. She sat down at the computer idly typing up a few things, but finding herself unable to concentrate. This was ridiculous, what was going on with her!? She walked back to the couch, falling back with a sour expression.

Yoshiki had actually been able to get to sleep pretty quickly, only because the familiarity lulled his home sick head into sleep quickly. Though, it wasn't a very deep sleep, and he was awakened by noises in the kitchen. Ayumi? Probably... He glanced at the clock, his tired eyes reading it as a little past midnight. What was she doing up?... At first, he thought she may have just gotten a drink and went back, but on multiple occasions, he heard small thumps as she collapsed onto the couch, and sometimes the clicking of the computer keyboard. He sighed, curiosity overruling his exhaustion. Something could be wrong with her... He hoped she didn't feel sick or something.

He got up and opened the door, peering out into the light of the living room. He rubbed his eye before stepping out, going into the living room with a questioning glance at Ayumi, who was just looking out the window. If they had still been on shaky ground, he probably would've left her alone, but now he felt a little more normal around her. "Uh, Ayumi? Anything wrong?" he asked casually, trying to see if he could easily find the source of why she was so restless.

Ayumi jumped slightly at Yoshiki's voice, and she turned from the window to look at him. Her eyes caught onto Yoshiki entering the living room, and her heart jolted. Ahh, she thought she had been pretty quiet too... "Oh, ah, not really. I just can't fall asleep... Sorry to have woken you," she apologized with a sheepish smile. She hadn't intended to wake him up, but now that he was there she found herself sort of glad.

Yoshiki looked at her questioningly, not really letting it go as just a small case of insomnia. There had to be a reason why... "No, that's fine, but... why can't you sleep?" he questioned, a little worried she may still be panicked about something between them. It couldn't just be nothing...

Ayumi's cheeks reddened at the question as she glanced back out the window. "Just... a lot of thoughts, I guess," she answered vaguely. She was avoiding having to tell the truth... That the nature of their relationship and the potential it had kept stirring in her thoughts. That she kept questioning if he loved her or if she had just tricked herself. She looked back to him with a light smile. "You're going back to work tomorrow, right?" she asked. She wasn't so sure how she felt about him closing and taking that road home anymore, though...

Yoshiki was unsatisfied with the answer. It'll only left other questions... Like, what was she thinking about?... Though, he was moved off subject as he was asked about work. He blinked for a moment, then hesitantly nodded. "Yeah... It's a day shift tomorrow, but it's the only day I know my schedule for that job... I'll have to check for the rest of the week..," he explained, already thinking of the notes to write on those days.

Ayumi nodded lightly, only a little relieved to hear his shift tomorrow was a day one. "So, you'll still be taking night shifts?" she asked with a hesitation to her voice. She knew Yoshiki basically had open availability to get more hours, and she knew there was little she could do about her anxiety for him walking at night. It wasn't like he was going to be moved off of closings permanently... even if that's what she wanted. She didn't want him getting hurt again and walking alone at night increased the chance of that a lot.

Yoshiki noticed that she seemed worried about the whole night thing. He could understand... After all, he'd be a little tense at night for a little while. But... he wasn't worried enough to complain about the hours. "Yeah... But it was a freak accident, so I doubt it'll happen again... Besides, I can't pass up opportunities to work just because of it," he answered honestly, though he was worried what kinds of anxieties that'd cause. He felt bad for making it worse, but... he really did need the money, so he didn't have much of a choice.

Ayumi stared outside the window, watching the slow nightlife take place outside. She couldn't shake a frown from his answer as dread wrapped itself around her stomach. "I know... it just seems like we're a magnet for freak accidents..." she pointed out. Death just occurred around her. Between haunted schools and car crashes, she had to wonder if death was after her and just kept missing.

Yoshiki frowned lightly, unable to deny that they saw many more of those than the average person. But... he didn't want her to be anxious about it, if that's what was keeping her up. He stepped closer so that he was next to her, looking out the same window before settling his eyes on her. His hand lifted to mess with her hair lightly, a small smile forming. "Maybe, but... I'll never leave you by yourself," he told her with confidence. Yeah, some things you couldn't stop... But he had gotten back to her side with willpower on two different occasions.

Ayumi looked at Yoshiki as he moved, her heart picking up pace the closer he got. Her face grew redder at the feeling of his hand on her head. The gesture made her a little confused since it wasn't really romantic, per se. If anything, it was sibling-like, which she hoped that wasn't the direction of relationship they were heading down. Her thoughts broke as he once again said he wouldn't leave her by herself. She wanted to argue that willpower alone wouldn't make that happen, but so far it seemed to be serving him well. He hasn't left, unlike everyone else... "You said that in the hospital, in your sleep," she recalled with a light smile. "You mean it, don't you..." she asked rhetorically. It was funny to think hours ago she had been sure he wanted her to move out. Now he was claiming his utmost devotion to her...

Yoshiki smiled softly at her, though blushed at the mention of sleep talking. Huh... He guessed it would make sense, since he had been so worried that he'd die, and she'd be alone... His eyes narrowed at her question, and he nodded quietly. He would've liked to hug her or something, but it felt like that crossed a certain line...

Ayumi watched as he nodded, finding herself growing bolder for a moment. "Why are you so determined that I don't end up by myself?" She realized the question was probably stupid, because it seemed obvious the answer would just be: 'because I'm your friend.' Which, if that was the answer she got, she'd be disappointed... She was just testing something, or maybe trying to lead the conversation where she was dying for it to go.

Yoshiki hadn't really been anticipating the question that came next. His expression grew a little more blank as he tried to think exactly what his answer would be. A few years ago, he would've just told her it was simply because they were close friends, but... Losing her for three years made him not even care about rejection. At first he had just wanted her back, but now... who knew if she'd be taken away again? Because she was certainly right... They seemed to be the target of a lot of 'freak' accidents... Only, there was the big problem that if he was rejected, being together would probably crumble back to that state of awkward silences.. He definitely didn't want that, but could he stand her not knowing, even though he had been so bold about it before? Not because she could't hear him, but... because he was hopeful that she would hear. So... why should it be any different now? He gave her the time to settle in, and since she hadn't wanted to leave, maybe their friendship could handle a rejection... Or, at least, he hoped it could..."Because...," he started, still looking a bit apprehensive as his eyes went to the side. 'If you're gonna do it, then don't be such a coward!' he scolded at himself. After a moment, he got his eyes back on hers, though he was feeling a bit more anxious than all those other times... He guessed because this time, it could go bad. "I-... Because I care about you... a lot," he tried to answer. He couldn't just say 'because I love you', because it really didn't explain why he didn't want her by herself. It'd explain why he wanted her to stay here, but that wasn't what she was asking at all... "I know everything you've been through... I know that everything would be really hard for you if you ended up by yourself... That, and... I guess I don't want to be without you, either," he mentioned with a small laugh, though it dissolved away with his apparent nervousness.

Ayumi watched as she seemingly threw him off with the question. She watched silently as he tried to form an answer. Her heart was in an excited rush as she wondered if he was going to say a confession, or something close. She became alert as he looked at her once more and began to give a real answer. Her face was a warm red when he gave such a sweet answer. Even if it wasn't a flat-out confession, it made her a little more hopeful that the 'I love you' she heard unconscious had been something from the real world. "Thank you, Yoshiki... I don't know what I'd do with myself if you weren't around. You've always looked after me and I..." her words trailed as she realized what was about to slip out. "I'm glad you're in my life, because I really do need you," she said, mentally cursing at herself for backing out of saying 'I love you.'

Yoshiki blushed slightly at her words, though he was grateful for them. That he wasn't lone in this dependence... A relationship seemed a lot more stable when the two were leaning against each other, instead of just one or the other. His hand moved from her head, hesitantly moving to grab her hand. It made him nervous, but the words weren't really coming out. "I really need you, too...," he muttered, his smile coming back, though his blush and nervousness only increased.

Ayumi's hand had shots of electricity travel through her arm as his hand moved to it. Hah... it reminded her of her... well 'dream' when her and Yoshiki became reliant on holding each other's hand. She had been so confident to make that move then. Pushing herself up and kissing him, but then she had been guaranteed everything would be fine with that. She stared at his red face and obvious nervousness, wondering if she should take the chance that seemed terrifying yet exciting. Her hand took a tight hold on Yoshiki's, and she fought for the words. She needed him, and he needed her... this had to be more than friendship. Her face was a bright red as she tried to remember how to speak. "Iloveyou," she suddenly blurted out, the words slurring into one another as she rushed them out.

Yoshiki waited in the silence anxiously, unsure of what it meant. Though, she didn't look like it had been a bad thing to say. Although... he hadn't come straight out with it, technically... His attention was stolen by the flurry of words that came out of her mouth, his heart jumping slightly. Did she just say...? His eyes widened, his blush feeling worse. After waiting about five years, hearing it back was just so... surreal. He fought through his shock to reply, so she didn't think he didn't feel the same. Haah, it couldn't be more from the truth. He smiled at her before finding his voice. "I... I love you too," he said, finding that it came out shockingly confident. He guessed it was because she had already confessed... Though, he couldn't hold back a small laugh, as her way of saying it just made him think... "Hehe... I bet that's how I would've sounded just a few years ago," he commented with a light laugh, unable to keep it from surfacing.

Ayumi's heart was in overdrive as she was in disbelief those words had managed to come out of her mouth. The silence felt like it was stretching as she waited for a reaction, even if in reality little time had passed. His smile relieved the panic that had begun to grow at the lack of an immediate reaction. She smiled back, ecstatic that she was finally hearing he loved her for real. Ha, again she had just been stressing out over something that talking managed to put together. Her brow furrowed in confusion at his sudden laugh. As he commented on her rushed confession her eyes narrowed at him as she felt a rush of embarrassment. "Oh, shut up!" she said to him, though held no real anger or irritation. Actually, it made her realize how long he had loved her... Even when she had been completely gone he held that loyalty to her.

Yoshiki laughed a little more at her snapping comment, knowing it not to be anything serious. His other hand lifted to her head again, but instead of ruffling her hair, it slid to the back of her head and leaned her closer. He moved closer in a burst of affection, shutting his eyes as he pressed his lips against hers.

Ayumi's blood rushed excitably as he moved closer and kissed her. Her arms moved around him as she leaned into the contact enthusiastically. She had been wanting this so badly that her mind was going blank in white-hot flash. She didn't hesitate to request the kiss move deeper. Maybe it was quick in terms of just getting together, but considering their history together, it felt right.

Yoshiki's heart jolted in excitement at the request, and he quickly allowed the kiss to deepen. His now free hand wrapped tightly around her waist, pressing her body against his. They fit rather nicely... Though, he had to keep himself somewhat grounded, so he didn't go faster than she wanted.

Ayumi quickly found herself becoming addicting to the way this felt. Her body was going into sensory overload just from his tongue and the way their bodies pressed against each other. She moved herself against him, a desire to be close after their long separation. Although, after a indeterminate amount of time passed, her lungs began to burn. She wasn't getting enough air from her nose, and she didn't want to pass out so she tugged her mouth back a little ways from his to allow herself space to take in heavy pants. "W...wow... Why did it take us so long to do this?" she marveled as she felt a bit awed by her mix of emotions and pleasure.

Yoshiki was enamored with her feeling and taste. It was hard to even think of pulling away, even when his breath was running out. He was a little saddened they had to pause, since this was the sort of thing he had been yearning since he was seventeen, but thankful at the same time. He took deep breaths, opening his eyes to look at her with a slightly flushed face. He gave a small sigh, then shrugged at her. "I guess... stuff just kept getting in the way," he answered breathlessly.

Ayumi pants slowed as she regained her breath. She was swept up in her feelings and his warmth. "Isn't that the truth," she mumbled, thinking of all the crap they had to get through to get to this point. Yoshiki had the patience of a saint, being willing to wait around for her this entire time. Through Heavenly Host, through her families death, through her unconscious years... He stood steadfast for her. "Do you want to move to the bedroom?" she suddenly asked, noticing their spot next to the window.

Yoshiki blushed slightly, noticing things sort of got started where anyone could see. Haha, how embarrassing... but at least it was nighttime, so hardly no one was on the streets. He looked back at her, his heart jumping slightly as he fully took in the question. Well... that didn't necessarily mean it'd go even farther, but at the very least, maybe they'd resume just sleeping against each other... He nodded slightly. "Sure," he responded verbally, untangling himself from her and letting his hand grab hers to lead. Now that they were together... he never wanted to let go of her hand, honestly... As he walked, his other hand lifted to flick the light switch, since it was likely that neither of them would be coming back until the morning.

Once settled in bed and against his warmth, the exhaustion that had been pushed off by a busy mind finally hit her. She knew Yoshiki was probably tired as well, so instead off picking up where they left off, she was content just snuggling. They'd have plenty of time from here on out, now that they had finally settled what plagued their minds. For the first time in a long time, she felt her mind at peace. No ghosts were haunting her, and she didn't feel alone. Even if life was a cluttered mess, and the two were magnets for freak accidents, she had a hopeful glow in her chest that they'd finally found their happiness.


End file.
